On Sunday, the New York Times ran an uplifting story about a brave California teen who doesn't go to regular school anymore and one time she spilled spaghetti on the carpet. It's Kendall Jenner!
"Kendall Jenner," declares the Times headline, proudly. "A Sister Who Does More Than Keep Up." What is the "More" exactly? Unclear at this point. Seems like less, from the article, which says nothing. It's Kendall Jenner!
"Look who landed on an entire page in the Sunday New York Times today," tweeted Kris Jenner, mom of Kendall on Sunday. And land there she did, right on the page, SPLAT. You can almost see Kendall, dazed from her fall onto the page, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. "Where did I land? What happened? Why am I here?" Great questions, Kendall, all great. Who knows the answers? Not Kendall and certainly not the New York Times, but we're so happy to have you anyway because it's Kendall Jenner!
In the article, Kendall Jenner. Kendall Jenner article. Kendall Jenner words and Kendall. Jenner Jenner (Kardashian) Seacrest Kendall. Sisters Kendall here okay and Kendall. Kendall TV Kim Kendall? Kendall page, Kendall.
But that's not all the New York Times addresses in its full page article about Kendall Jenner. The newspaper of record also devotes some coverage to her modeling, which she is reportedly taking "seriously." She is taking it "seriously" because she has lots of good model things like brown hair and eyes and a body full of legs. The "raw material" of a person/model.
The plot twist is that unlike other celebrity/aspiring models, Ms. Jenner actually has the raw material. She has big doe eyes, shiny dark hair and full lips. She is 5 feet 10 inches, very slender and very leggy. She has a real shot, even without her family connections.
Over the course of the interview Kendall fidgets by methodically ripping up a cardboard clothing tag she found somewhere. She says things like "my plate got really full" and "I was just like, I don’t know." She participates in the following eerie exchange (or, perhaps more accurately, one-way transmission) between herself and one of her publicists, plural:
“I think you always talk about how appreciative you are,” one of her publicists said.
“Yeah, how appreciative I am,” Ms. Jenner said, plucking at her tights.
“And that you enjoy the life you have,” the publicist said.
“I enjoy the life I have,” Ms. Jenner said, zipping and unzipping a sofa cushion.
Ryan Seacrest, a 38-year-old man not a member of the Kardashian family who acts, for the New York Times, as a secondary source on Kendall Jenner, promises that the 17-year-old will "at some point" be depicted dating on her family's show Keeping Up with the Kardashians, which he executive produces.
At the end of the interview, Kendall says she is hungry (her growling belly the opposite of that plate she spoke of earlier) and leaves the room.
She is really going places.
[Image (Kendall on the left) via AP]
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