Have you heard? As of next week, beloved cuck advocacy website Gawker.com will officially be shutting down thanks to the machinations of a megalomaniacal seasteading vampire. It happens! And though it’s incredibly unfortunate, there is something you can do to make us feel just a little bit better: Send us Donald Trump’s tax returns.
As you know, Donald Trump has refused to release his tax returns, presumably because he is being perpetually audited. The auditing part is true, but the part where that fact has anything to do with his ability to release the returns is not. As Warren Buffett previously said, “There are no rules against showing your tax returns and just let[ting] people ask questions about the items that are on there.”
And not only would those tax returns answer some highly relevant questions the American people have about Donald Trump’s funds (or lack thereof), they would also ease the devastating pain of watching our dreams crumble right before our very eyes.
Someone out there has to have Donald Trump’s tax returns. Is it you? Do you want to do us a solid? If so, please send whatever you’ve got over to email@example.com. C’mon. It’s the least you could do.