On Sunday, an 82-year-old woman called the police in Brown Deer, Wisconsin, because she heard her neighbor chanting “ISIS is good, ISIS is great” during sex. Authorities found no evidence that a terror plot was afoot, or even that the scary sex shouts happened at all, but nonetheless told the woman to call back if she heard anything else.
According to reports, the unnamed woman called 911 claiming that she heard her neighbor yelling frightening things, and told the officers who arrived on the scene that—I’m going to spell this out again in case you missed it in the first paragraph—she heard her neighbor chanting “ISIS is good, ISIS is great” during sex.
The officer advised the woman call back if she heard the cries of ISIS passion again, [Brown Deer Police Chief Michael Kass] said.
“We subscribe to the saying, ‘See something, say something,’” he said.
“We don’t want to discourage people from reporting potential terror attacks. But this seems odd.”
Kass is correct to place the call in the context of “see something, say something”—the unnamed octogenarian’s 911 call is only the dizzy apotheosis of the paranoiac tattletaling Americans have been encouraged to do in airports and New York City subway stations since 9/11. If you really think “see something, say something” is the answer to terrorism (in New York, at least, it verifiably is not), you should not laugh at the ISIS sex call granny. You should salute her.