Demi Moore's Boyfriend Has a Pearl in His DickS

Stars: They're just like us! Their boyfriends have pearls in their dicks! They go grocery shopping with their boyfriends with pearls in their dicks! They visit the planetarium with their boyfriends with pearls in their dicks! They decide to try a new restaurant with their boyfriends with pearls in their dicks and when they get there the service is really terrible and they're like (kind of annoyed) "Where did you find this place?" and their boyfriends with pearls in their dicks are like "I looked it up on Yelp. It got good reviews" and then they look it up on Yelp and realize that restaurant has two locations. ! Demi Moore's new boyfriend has a pearl in his dick.

You may be wondering "How'd that get there?" The New York Daily News will tell you: He put it there, because he is a pearl diver. The subdermal pearl was inserted into his penis in his native Australia when he was in his late teens. If he’s ever short a single pearl on a dive, an interesting #lifehack for him would be to go diving down into his penis where there is one waiting for him beneath his skin.

A source told the News the implementation of the penis pearl was in keeping with “pearl farming tradition.”

The Australian pearl diver with a pearl in his penis, whose name is Will Hanigan, met Demi Moore earlier this year when they were both taking a class to become certified Kundalini Yoga teachers. He is 30 and she is 50 and they both appear to have successfully completed the 3 day class, so don’t feel apprehensive about receiving yoga instruction from either or both of them.

According to the News Hanigan liked to boast back in Oz that the pearl makes sex feel more pleasurable for women, which seems like something that would come up in conversation, gosh, all the time.

No word on whether Demi Moore is playing the long con by "dating" him to get her hands on that precious pearl.

[Image via AP]

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