Here is Mariah Carey in the gown she wore to the Fresh Air Fund's Salute to American Heroes Gala last night deciding to take the subway. Just like a peasant. A peasant in a prom dress on public transportation. Isn't that funny?

Here is Mariah Carey explaining that something (probably her decision to ride the subway) "is what it is," which is to say: ironic. Here she also points out an area to avoid, probably not for crime but what it can do to your heels.

Here is a discussion of ideas. One con of wearing the dress she selected is that she keeps stepping on it, but a pro is that it gives her something to complain about.


Here is a discussion about textures and a caveat, lest you think that public transportation is something this superstar takes often. "It's been a while since I've taken the—" says Mariah, not making Vine's 6-second time limit. But of course, we can fill in the rest no problem :)

Here is Mariah Carey descending into hell, saying that, "It's not like I wore these shoes, either," about the shoes she's wearing. Low altitudes make people disoriented.

Here is Mariah Carey having laughs pon de subway, per her Instagram captioning patois.

Here is Mariah Carey enjoying the shit out of all of her choices and her general existence.

Here is Mariah Carey getting out of a cab at the ostensible end of her night, because fuck a subway. It's not for getting you places, it's for laughs and photo ops.