Everybody wants to get a piece of that sweet sweet millennial gold. Even the lead-slug tycoons who bankroll the NRA. Behold "Noir," the gun lobby's can't-miss shot at a hot web series for the hip, urbane American who wants a multicolored gun to match that iPhone case!
"Noir" is the awkward internet TV vehicle for "Colion Noir: Urban Gun Enthusiast," a "Youtube star" raised up as the NRA's cross-demographic savior. Colion who? Colion Noir:
He's young, he's black, he wears caps for baseball teams in major cities in the northeast, and man, he's so edgy! But not so edgy that he can't have a bouncy banter "on firearms, fashion, pop culture and other hot topics" with his cohost Amy Robbins, a brunette Megyn Kelly stand-in.
If you've heard of Noir at all, it's probably because of his MLK day shtick last January about how Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. loved guns. You know, to protect himself from all the racist crazies with guns. Except, of course, for that one racist crazy whose gun fatally sent a bullet into King's cheek, down his spinal cord, and through two arteries and his jugular vein.
The folks at Reason magazine, who love guns but know a bullshit pander when they see one, have a compelling list of all the problems with episode one of "Noir." Well, almost all. They forgot to mention the faux-MTV rough cuts and self-consciously cool floaty camera shots, or the cringe-inducing "urban" script copy dropping out of Noir's mouth like it was written by a white Mitch McConnell intern on summer break from Liberty University.
Now, why is the NRA doing this again? Is it to improve the gun lobby's image with youngs and get them to favor Second Amendment rights? Well if that's a byproduct of it, great. But more importantly, "NRA Freestyle presented by Daniel Defense" and "NOIR sponsored by Mossberg" want to sell you some fucking AR-15s and shotguns, young men, so get on that. (Remember Daniel Defense? These guys? Yeah, those guys. So. Edgy.)
Also, how trustworthy is this Colion Noir? Put another way: Who in good conscience can wear a Yankees hat... and a Phillies hat? A fucking poser, that's who.