Jason Martin, 41, has been found guilty at the Canterbury Crown Court in Kent, UK for biting the penis of his neighbor, Richard Henderson, 39, during an argument over loud Xbox music. Henderson apparently sent Martin a text asking him to turn down the music and the fight escalated in person when Martin, who only has one tooth, bit Henderson’s penis so hard it required stitches. A combination of a headlock and Henderson wearing pajamas made it all possible.

Henderson only admitted to grabbing “bits and bobs” when defending himself in court. Yet the six man-six woman jury found him guilty after hearing the following foolproof defense:

He told the jury: 'I have only got a couple of teeth in the lower part of my mouth. I can’t even bite into a hard-boiled egg.

'I am not homosexual and there is no way I would put a man's penis in my mouth. Even the thought of it makes me sick.'

He was asked to show the jury his lack of teeth, saying he had dentures but only used them 'for cosmetic reasons'.

He added: 'I accept that I did grab his testicles, not maliciously or to hurt him badly.'

He said he went to the neighbour’s flat because he thought the complaint was unfair and was grabbed by Mr Henderson, who then tried to ram his head into a metal staircase.

Martin broke down in the witness box during his trial and wept after admitting he had told police officers: 'I have not done anything to him'

He said: 'I had just grabbed around Mr Henderson. I didn’t realise at the time that I had done anything to him.

'It was just a rat bite. I just grabbed into an area. I didn’t realise at the time it was his testicles.'

Judge Adele Williams asked: 'You must have felt his penis and testicles in your hand?'

Martin replied: 'I didn’t know if it was his penis or his testicles or his upper leg or arm. I didn’t know what it was. I was just getting beaten up and I was scared.'

Henderson, when asked about the experience of getting his penis bitten by a toothless man while wearing pajamas, responded: "My willy was not attached to the rest of my body. I have never experienced that kind of pain to this day and I don’t want to experience it ever again."

[via Daily Mail; image via Shutterstock]