Henry the Intern watches and reports on Topic A with Tina Brown so that you might be spared. This week: Something about debutantes making pornography in Iraq, Jackie Kennedy was a really pretty lady, and, hey, have you heard of this neato columnist at the New York Times named David Brooks? Check him out!

Poor Henry.

Last night's "Topic A with Tina Brown" was a dramatically improved effort — on location from New York and not a mention of the "Friends" finale. Rather, Tina chose to skip pop culture for international politics. The headline segment, "Iraq: Torture as Pornography," delved into the "disturbingly pornographic" photographs of tortured Iraqi detainees. [Ed Note: We're pretty sure Henry was stoned, or making this up. Iraq debutantes? They have cotillions in South America? What are these people talking about?]

Her panel of Middle East expert Shibley Telhami, Foreign Affairs editor James Hoge, and Australian author Robert Hughes, were asked which was worse: "the fact that this happened or the expressions of glee?" While Telhami stated plainly, "these are not just pictures of shame and torture. . . these are pictures of utter humiliation," Hughes took it a step further. In comparing the torture to hardcore pornography, he dismissed the notion that President Bush doesn't recognize the actions of the abusive troops: "They damn well ought to be the kind of Americans he recognizes. . . it is disgusting precisely because it is American." Hoge chimed in with economics, the anti-porn, saying the cost-benefit ratio of the military action was "clearly a loss leader." After scratching her chin in deep thought, Tina answered: "So many people were shocked by the sporty-nature. . . and the glee." Period, next question: "What are the chances this is going to change the minds and the convictions" of Arabs, voters, and the administration? Hoge hypothesized America is a superpower acting as a rogue state. Back to the pornographic imagery, what do these pictures mean for women? Hughes: "Women can be just as bad and demonic. . . the culture that generates this kind of behavior affects women just as much as men."

In the second segment, James Moore, co-author of Bush's Brain, presented a mildly-interesting portrait of White House puppeteer Karl Rove. Tina: "What's different about Rove? Why did you become obsessed with him?" Moore: "You have someone who is in the White House. . . being paid for by you and I. . . who has a reputation, who is willing to do anything to win." But Tina squashed an anecdote describing how Rove once bugged his own office to distract the press by saying flatly, "that is, that is horrible."

The editor's desk roundtable dissected "the image machine" that was Jackie and John Kennedy, based on Sally Bedell Smith's new book, Power and Grace. Smith compared Jackie's mind to a man's: "Very analytical, practical, she was a brilliant problem solver," adding "she improvised, she was resourceful." Smith said Jackie's mantra was "once you know everything about a woman, you lose interest." Evan Thomas, of Newsweek, squeezed into the conversation to say, "She was shrewd." Designer Carolina Herrera shared some memories of her friendship with Jackie. Her web site presumably invokes Camelot: "The best passport to the future is the love for the past." Tina's idea of a probing question for a tease: "Would Camelot be possible without Jackie?" They all answer no, duh — and Tina asks again on the other side of the break.

Hot picks of the week: Smith chooses Stalin: The Court of the Red Tsar; Thomas recommends David Brooks's New York Times column; Herrara directs viewers — what viewers? This one intern who is not watching the "Survivor" finale? — to the current costume exhibit at the MET. Tina reflects on the memorial service of Pat Tillman, an NFL player who died while serving in Afghanistan. It was "so devoid of cliche," she says. It "really brought it home."

The closing quote by Oscar Wilde is fitting: "But what is the difference between literature and journalism? . . . Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. That is all." Or vice versa. Anyway, now that "Survivor" is over, viewers will surely flock to "Topic A."

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