Double Agent — an email newsletter, sort of like Maxim for the Daily Candy set — sometimes sends out these damn info-shill emails written, allegedly, from the female perspective, telling guys how to get laid. Today's is particularly sad:

If she's acting sassy and bitchy, and her body language is closed (arms crossed, turned away), she's probably feeling a loss of control. But if she's relaxed and smiling, she's merely testing you to see how you'll react to her when she pushes back.

Remember, beautiful women will test you like this because they have to know if you are a real alpha man or just a wimp.... You just have to be attentive, focused, and never be afraid to confront our bratty behavior when necessary.

What fucking timewarp did you people crawl out of? Any guy in Manhattan who takes advice this idiotic is going to (rightly) end up with nail marks all down his face. The full email after the jump.

Guys, I'm the Rogue Agent a former Double Agent who left the Agency.

I'm here to tell you what you really want to know how to get women interested in you to date and sleep with you. Simple as that.

I'm occasionally able to get a message to you through these emails. If you have a question for me, just hit reply and I can try to get you the information you need.

QUERY TRANSMISSION:

I am having a tough time distinguishing between when a girl is treating me with a lack of respect and when she's just giving me some good-natured teasing of her own.

Can you clear up the difference between the two? What is it about good-natured teasing that would mean it has crossed the line into a lack of respect?

ROGUE AGENT REPLY:

As you know, when you tease and act a little cocky with women, you will inevitably fuel our attraction for you. But you also have to recognize when we are still playing the game with you or if we're starting to lash back because we're insecure.

A lack of respect can be distinguished simply by watching a girl's attitude. Listen carefully to her tone of voice and pay attention to her stance. If she's acting sassy and bitchy, and her body language is closed (arms crossed, turned away), she's probably feeling a loss of control. But if she's relaxed and smiling, she's merely testing you to see how you'll react to her when she pushes back.

Remember, beautiful women will test you like this because they have to know if you are a real alpha man or just a wimp. The fastest way we do this is to get in your face and see how you handle it when we throw crap back at you.

So, how should you handle it?

You have to test her right back.

The next time a woman says something to you that you can't figure out, assume that she's just going along with you and keep on teasing her. You want to keep driving up the sexual tension without backing off. (Remember to always keep it funny and playful, never insulting.)

If she's playing with you, you'll start to see her get more and more frustrated in a good way and she'll play back (usually punctuated with play slaps, and saying "You're so mean!").

Most guys don't know how to handle it when a woman gets bratty on them. They back down, afraid to anger us. And if you do, you just flunked our test.

Now, if she's being disrespectful, she won't escalate with fun. Instead, she'll get aggressive and nasty. And if you tolerate this behavior, she'll know that she can push you around and you lose your alpha male status.

You have to prove yourself by staying in control and calling her on her behavior with something like this:

YOU: "Tina, does that usually work for you?"
TINA: "What?"
YOU: "That nasty-attitude thing. Does that usually make guys all romantic and mushy for you?"

Say this without any anger in a firm and confident tone. And then watch her reaction very closely.

When a woman responds with disrespect, it's in response to the loss of control she's feeling. Some women (especially uptight ones) hate to lose their sexual control over men. And how do most people act when they don't feel that they're in control? They act up and behave irrationally as a way of dealing with their frustration.

Your best reaction is to call a woman on her behavior with a little verbal "spank" and continue as you were. Don't make the mistake of showing that you're flustered or angry.

The key to reading her reactions and state of mind is to refine your sense of instinct. (Something most guys have neglected terribly when it comes to women.) In order to develop your cool attitude and razor-sharp instincts to see through a beautiful woman's behavior, you must stop focusing so much on your own thoughts and pay attention to the subtleties of her behavior.

Stay cool, calm, and detached. Emotions do not serve you here, and insecure behavior will absolutely cost you the seduction.

In the end, if you just cannot figure out what her attitude is, your last tactic is to simply ask her.

YOU: "Tina, I'm not sure how I should take what you just said. I know you weren't being disrespectful to me, were you?"

Sometimes you have to say things that you may not feel comfortable saying to women, but they absolutely must be said.

If you tune into the moment, you'll find that all the evidence you need is right there in front of you. You just have to be attentive, focused, and never be afraid to confront our bratty behavior when necessary.

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