Gawker 
Jun 17, 2004 5:23 PM
69
This week's Entertainment Weekly catches the buzz of internet hottness barometer Reuters and their May 27th Rance article, sending an investigative reporter deep onto the front page of Rance's blog to evaluate the prevailing theories about the supposedly A-list actor's mystery diary of doom. EW's conclusions on the leading contenders are after the jump. It can't be long before he's flushed out of his Bel Air mansion with his iBook in the air as a harried assistant tries to throw a coat over his head...
Shadows & Blog [EW, sub. req'd.]
George Clooney?: "One entry ridiculed the ''synthetic'' nature of Brad Pitt’s ''Troy.'' Hard to believe a man who donned a nippled, ab-sculpted Batsuit would mock artificiality."
Jim Carrey?: "An item admits to admiration of Joan Rivers. Could the elastic-faced comic really appreciate such shoddy work in plastic?"
Ben Affleck?: "Rance’s favorite extracurricular activities include drinking, women, and gambling. Ben hates all those things." [Ed. note—We rather enjoyed their mention of our O.V. tattoo theory, even if they neglected to nod in our direction.]
Owen Wilson?: "Nope, it must actually be Wilson. Clearly, the man was possessed — it's the only way to explain teaming up with Eddie Murphy for ''I Spy.''"
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