· Absolute Publishing steals Andrew Essex from his number two spot at Details. Essex will help Absolute plan a high-end magazine launch for next spring, because heaven knows we really need another one of those. [NYP]
· Newsday settles circulation scandal issues with 1/3 of its advertisers, all with a deftly-performed blow job. [Newsday]
· The American youth still hasn't learned that mainstream journalism is a crock, but they are avoiding newsprint like the plague. [Coloradoan]
· Newsflash: service journalism totally sucks nowadays. We're desperate for some ill-informed advice on how to do something, anything! [Knight-Wallace]

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