Good morning. Here's your new dyke, Cynthia Nixon. Enjoy! Oh, wait, you met her yesterday. So this news didn't make you totally shit yourself? No? Well, check out the cover of today's Daily News and maybe you'll understand why I've lost control of my bodily functions.

That headline? I feel like I might've seen it somewhere before. Like, in some fantastic world of parody, perhaps? Yeah, we were fucking KIDDING when we wrote possible headlines for today! You weren't supposed to actually use one of them. And Jesus, it took us maybe 15 seconds to think of those — wow, writing big, fat headlines is easy.

Okay, back to shitting myself.
'Miranda' Switches Sides [NYDN]

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