Henry the Intern recaps last night's very special afterschool episode of Topic A with Tina Brown: Tina tries to analyze the stench of Clinton still lingering on Dan Rather and Whitewater jail-timer Susan McDougal, Page Six's Richard Johnson and Reagan-hating Christopher Hitchens clink martini glasses, and apparently the buzz of Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11" actually is deafening for still-affianced Rolling Stone talking head Toure and "Capturing the Friedmans" director Andrew Jarecki.

In a blatant attempt for a slice of "60 Minutes" viewers, Tina milked Dan Rather for a postscript to his hyped interview with Bill Clinton (Old trick: Interview the interviewer when you can't get the interviewee). "Dan," she began, "It's wonderful to be visiting with you. . . How did you find that he's changed?" Rather: "He's much more within himself, searching for answers about himself." Tina: "More interior?" Rather: "Yes. . . [he's] trying very hard to be insightful about himself."

It got better. That is, if you wanted to know the dimensions of Bill's biceps. Tina said Clinton followed the South Beach Diet. Rather: "He's buffed up." Tina pressed: "Does he have a gym in that house in Chappaqua?" Rather: "Yes. . . It's not large, but it's quite complete. . . I counted at least 13 barbells."

Seriously, Tina asked, "Why did he do it?" Rather reflected, then rallied off: hubris, arrogance, and conceit. And what about Hillary? "Hillary sees herself not only as a fighter," Rather explained, "but a get-up fighter." Tina thought "their joint rage. . . their desire for vindication. . . was bigger than their marriage." Rather said they were "really dedicated to one another."

Rather speculated Clinton hopes to be ranked at the top of the "pretty-good" presidents. Or the husband of the first female president, Tina suggested. "I wouldn't bet against it," Rather said, then turned the table: "What do you think?" Tina: "I think it could happen. I absolutely do." What a surprise.

Next, Whitewater star Susan McDougal sat for a chat. At the premiere of "The Hunting of the President," Clinton publicly recognized her as an American hero. Afterwards, they met for the first time since 1985. McDougal: "When he hugged me, I cried. It was involuntary, something I couldn't have helped if I'd wanted to, cause it was really a poignant day. . . and he was patting my hand and saying [about his memoir], 'You'll like it, you'll like it' very gently." Tina asked for her analysis of Clinton. McDougal: "It must be a man thing, because no woman could be that ignorant. . . how you couldn't know that they were watching everything he did, I just don't understand that."

For the Editor's Desk Roundtable, Toure, Christopher "Hello, darling" Hitchens, director Andrew Jarecki ("Capturing the Friedmans"), and Richard Johnson, author of "the column the city reads every morning with the urgency of a ransom note!" The topic of "Fahrenheit 9/11" quickly bonded Hitchens and Toure. "A lot of people are terribly amused by any crack at the president," said Hitchens. Toure saw the film as a weapon of revenge because "hawks —those who were fooled by the administration— were calling those who weren't anti-American." Johnson, who enjoyed the "Neo-Marxist class-warfare statement" at the end, said, "It's fun watching [Michael Moore] make people look stupid." Tina retorted, "You're somewhat of an expert at that."

Toure figured the film highlighted the plight of black people: "When you have no job opportunies, of course the military looks like a good place to go." Jarecki said black people at the screening were "loud, angry, intense" and "shouting at the screen," but added, "the black audience is not going to see documentries."

Will Moore be successful? Toure: "This has a license to make money." On the Disney flap, Jarecki said, "A corporation doesn't want to attract controversy and a journalist wants to attract controversy to advance debate."
Tina: "I get a sense that the young are going to love this movie." But Toure, the voice of reason, cautioned: "If you are undecided now, what are you doing?" He said the sight of Iraq's humanity made his fiance cry. Tina said the film was one-sided because it didn't show Saddam's torture, but Toure reminded her that "we've continued Saddam Hussein's torture" in Abu Ghraib.

Hot picks of the week:
Hitchens: The Connection by Stephan Hayes, about Iraq-al Qaeda ties. Tina shot: "Still sticking with that, are we, Christopher?"
Toure: Letters to a Young Contrarian by Christopher Hitchens: "It made me stronger. . . which helped out today."
Jarecki: "Control Room," a documentary about al Jazeera.
Johnson: Kimora Lee Simmons, because "she thinks that Page Six doesn't like her, I just want to show her some love." Tina: "She is a feast to the eye, a feast to the eye."
Tina: The Week magazine — not because her husband is a consultant, she insisted.

Email (or "T-Mail") of the week from Bridge: "I have a date with ['Topic A'] every Sunday."

Closing quote by Golda Meir: "Don't be so humble - you are not that great."

Programming notes: Next week Arianna Huffington subs for Tina. . . Paging intern Chris Schwarz, paging Chris Schwarz.

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