"OK we have a whole bunch of baboons inside this house," said Howard Fyvie as he and Kyle Peters watched a troop of baboons enter their neighbors home in Betty's Bay, South Africa and ransack the joint like a bunch of goddamn animals.
"Check these haters," Fyvie says. The haters, who crawled in through an open second-story window, are everywhere. Haters meandering through the hallways. Haters dragging their poop on the carpeted stairs. Haters munching hand towels in the bathroom. Haters who pretend to be omnivores, mostly herbivores, but do a very good job of impersonating a species who only eat leftover chicken.
Fyvie and Peters find a ladder and break into the house —the house full of hissing, spitting, wild baboons—and eventually manage to shoo them out using brooms and mops. The last of the baboons can be seen hopping over the garden wall and escaping.
Sadly, break-ins are becoming increasingly common across South Africa and have been attributed to the animals losing their habitats through erosion or urban sprawl. So maybe don't be so selfish and share your home next time baboons decide to throw a little Aaron's Party.