With Fox News airing its grievances over the erection of Festivus poles in the state capitols of both Florida and Wisconsin, it's only right that man whose father invented the holiday be allowed to have his say.
"Am I to understand that some humanoid expressed outrage that the baby Jesus was behind a pole made of beer cans?," Seinfeld writer Dan O'Keefe asked Mother Jones.
It was an actual O'Keefe family tradition before it became a fictional Seinfeld holiday. "It was fucking weird, man," O'Keefe was quoted as saying.
When word spread among the Seinfeld staff, O'Keefe initially rejected the idea of turning his dad's invention into a script for Seinfeld.
Eventually, however, he sat down with co-writers Alec Berg and Jeff Schaffer, and together they came up with Festivus's equally memorable customs.
Chief among them, of course, is the Festivus pole — the focal point of Fox News's latest weird War on Christmas outrage.
News of the pole's juxtaposition with the traditional nativity scene sent host Gretchen Carlson frothing.
"Both displays have equal right to be there," said O'Keefe. "But, you know, the Fox News outrage machine kicked into high gear, and I'm sure there were some hair-sprayed talking heads bobbing up and down, being outraged about it."
O'Keefe assured Carlson that no Festivus pole made of PBR cans (his dad's favorite, BTW) was about to invade her home and knock down her Christmas tree.
"I don't think it has the Mordor-like, sinister political significance that's being attributed to it by right-wing talking heads," O'Keefe told the magazine. "It's a manufactured news event. The intention of the newscast is to feed the false War on Christmas narrative that is everywhere."
Up next: Feats of Strength.