Barack Obama's press conference today wasn't just about a couple of scandals and whatever's happening in Syria or Turkey. It was actually a metaphor, or a series of metaphors. Jessica Yellin knows this, because she was there, and she saw God punish Obama's lies with His rain.

Really, if it rains now it's symbolic of a president getting hassled over some political stuff? Is this like "when it rains on your wedding day," and how old was Jessica Yellin when that song was popular? She was the exact age to buy that record, that's how old she was.

Also: umbrellas are like "media shields."

Here, CNN's White House correspondent brags about her ability to yell at people and be ignored: