Glenn Beck thinks that not nearly as many women on college campuses are raped or assaulted as the government does. He wants you to understand the truth, which is why he aired this bizarre pantomime between a "rape expert" and a guy in a wig and skirt.
Last month, the White House Task Force to Protect Students from Sexual Assault issued a report estimating that one in five female college students are sexually assaulted. Beck, ever the voice of reason, knows that can't be right, unless you count some crazy hysterical feminazi junk, so he did a dive into the statistics.
Well, he didn't do it; rather, his resident "rape experts" did it, explaining that one reason to discount the surveys in the report is that "the majority of those assaulted were drunk or high when these incidents took place."
"This survey was designed to massively inflate the number of victims," The Blaze's Burguiere said before introducing "rape expert Jeff Fisher." What follows is a two-and-a-half-minute sketch in which the "rape expert" tries to convince a giggling, hair-twirling, cross-dressing man in a blonde wig to have sex with him by saying things such as, "You should have sex with me, I'm going to be on the cover of the Abercrombie & Fitch catalog this month." The man-pretending-to-be-a-woman agrees, then Burguiere jumps in and says: "Woah, woah, woah—stop, that's rape! Pressuring someone to have sex with you by telling them lies is the same as rape."
Suddath has a very detailed, dispassionate breakdown of all the ways in which Beck's Blaze crew is either innumerate or flat-out lying on the stats. That's important. But more important is that these 9/12 boob-tube boobs are straight-up defending rape culture in the most sophomoric of ways, so it'll probably do well in some Natty Lite-and-Axe-infused dark corners of lesser campuses.
Hey, remember the days when conservatives were the first to point out that an easy way of avoiding problems in life is not inserting a penis where it isn't unequivocally welcome? Those days, they were the days.