I have no idea the provenance for this video, but it appears it took place a few decades ago, somewhere in Australia. Either way, it is by far the classiest arrest one will ever see.
Nefertitties with the transcription:
What is the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal? Oh, that's a nice headlock sir! Oh! Ah, yes—I see that you know your judo well...All right. And you sir, are you waiting to receive my limp penis?
Also, GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS.
[h/t Ben Yakas]