Weiner Shots and Royal Baby Promises: Hate Mail From the WeekS

Welcome to our collection of the hate mail that you so lovingly send to us. You were mad about creationism, furious about Anthony Weiner, and had empty promises about the royal bebe. You were happy about Jesus and Paula Deen, and confused about shorts and eyebrow pencils. Read on for this week's lovely collection of our far-flung correspondence.

First, a informed tipster sent over some unfulfilled promises about the latest royal birth, in two short installments.

SUBJECT: A VERY funny article about the Royal baby (and family)

BODY: tips@gawker.com

SUBJECT: RE: Royal Baby article tip (I do not want my identity released)

BODY: [N/A]

Then, some intimate thoughts on Carlos Dangler:

SUBJECT: Do not

BODY: Do not show my this guy Anthony Weiner's prick for it is so provoking. Yups, I do not want to see it. That photo make me bunt and want to hit the dick and break its neck.You do not go ahead and post a photo of this or shit like that and corrupt our children minds. We need to have three restroom in all place: one for clean men, one for clean women, and one for sodomites to go queering in the closet. So there! Go fuck off, shit for brains!

Sea or monkeys.

SUBJECT: Creationism-hoffman

BODY: So Mr Nolan. How did we come into existence? Give it your best shot on all the information you have gleaned in your many years of reading a listening to the so called intellectuals. Put your best effort out there. No? Belief in God is no more outlandish than believing we came from the sea or monkeys. Yes it is pretty easy to scoff at people who decide that ID or god exists without stating your opinion. Hoffmans statements may not be scientific or appropriate for the forum yet she at least deserves respect for stating an unpopular opinion. yet Lest you forget some of our curent and past scientists believe in creationism or ID. I guess you dismiss also them. Should i also point out the fifty scientist listed here. http://creation.com/creation-scien...

A measured response to this opinion piece on shorts:

SUBJECT: Shorts

BODY: I do not wear them shorts so that I will not be raped. Fuck that one! When you wear shorts your penis is access to strangers who reach in there to stick it where the poo comes from. Yups, read it and weep: if a man wear shorts he may get his prick robbed and massage. It is also not good because if you see a babe then your cock may grow out of the shorts and the babe may fear you will commit rape. It will not be your fault because a dick will always grow unless you look at a blank wall but the babe will see your hard stick grow from shorts and think it is so provoking. She will get police officer and they will bunt and you will be busted. So just jack off in your car while wear pants. Go fuck off, shit for brains!

To this lovely tipster, thanks for pointing that out!

SUBJECT: Well Done!

Weiner Shots and Royal Baby Promises: Hate Mail From the WeekS

Silly, puerile eyebrow pencils.

BODY: I can't help but also note that it is very clear from his multiple references to "Islamists" throughout his piece that he was referring to Islamist Egyptians in particular as being unable to maintain democracy, and not, as you say:

all of Egypt

And the "eyebrow pencil" stuff is puerile and beneath you.

And to you, final correspondent—hello! Here you are.

SUBJECT: As per Paula Deen, Jesus and More of Our Far-Flung Correspondence This Week

BODY: Any chance you guy could start one article a week with Jesus Christ? It doesn't even have to make a lick of sense.

That's all for this week. Enjoy this wonderful last weekend of July. Are you making the most of your summer? I hope that you are.