Many people do not go to the mall any more. But some people still go to the mall. And most people at least used to go to the mall. What is the number one store that draws you—or drew you—to the mall? Think. This is important.
It is important because we were arguing about this very point the other day, here at work, and certain smart-alecky know-it-all types employed by Gawker.com insinuated that they had never gone to the mall in order to purchase cookies. Oh really? Not once? Not even to purchase a pizza-sized cookie cake from the Great American Cookie Store? This gives you some idea of the sort of moral depravity that infects certain members of the Gawker.com staff. "Never bought cookies at the mall? That sounds like a personal problem!" I zinged back at them smartly, sending them scurrying for cover like the rats they are.
Cookies—freshly baked, enormous, and sweet-smelling—are but one example of a Good Reason to Go to the Mall. Other Good Reasons To Go to the Mall Either Now Or In the Halcyon Golden Age of Malls might include, for example:
- MusicLand, to purchase the new Beatnuts cassette
- the video arcade
Lamer, but still borderline acceptable reasons to go to the mall might include "to see Turner and Hooch," "to go to the Thai place in the food court because it's the only Thai place in town," or "Toys R Us."
Unacceptable loser reasons to go to the mall might include "Forever 21," "Belks," or "Yankee Candle."
What store or food item most powerfully draws you to the mall? Put your answer in the discussion section below to find out whether or not you are cool.