High Protein Diets Make You Look Good, Kill You

Americans do not remember anything from chemistry or biology class, but they will damn sure buy anything that contains "protein," because I think it gives you muscles? Sadly, it appears that high protein diets may also cause you to die.

Yes, it is true that we may be "simplifying" the science here. But it is also true that you, the consumer, will tell your friends that you are eating a "healthy" high protein diet even though you are exclusively consuming "South Beach" candy bars. So who is the real villain here?

Back to the point we were making before we were so rudely interrupted: sure, cutting carbs is a great way to get "ripped" (assuming you are also exercising, which you are not). But it does have some drawbacks. The Wall Street Journal reports:

But will you live longer on a high-protein, low-carb diet? Two studies in the current edition of the scientific journal Cell Metabolism suggest the opposite. One involved an experiment conducted on mice, the other an 18-year study of humans who had divulged their dietary habits. Both studies found a strong association between longevity and a low-protein, high-carbohydrate diet, although the human study bore a twist: Beyond age 65, higher protein levels appeared to promote longevity.

I am shocked, shocked I tell you, to hear that an eating plan such as "The Atkins Diet" which condones eating nothing but steak and bacon for every meal may not be the most optimal choice for your long term health. (Here I am ignoring the interests of the elderly, as is the policy of the media.) This presents the average American with the following calculation, when it comes to eating lots of protein:

1. Look good, but

2. Die young.

"I'ma look good and die young!" exclaims the average American almost immediately, tipping over their Mtn Dew Code Red™ beverage as they spring from their reclining chair in delight. Sadly, the average American does not look good. You can see why this is such a thorny issue.

If you do enough deadlifts you can eat as much protein as you fucking want (and die young).

[Photo of you after you eat that Special K Protein Plus™ cereal: FB]