NRA Family, the National Rifle Association’s blog for families, recently began publishing a series of classic fairy tales, reimagined to include guns: “Red felt the reassuring weight of the rifle on her shoulder and continued down the path, scanning the trees, knowing that their shadows could provide a hiding place.”
The series is authored by conservative blogger Amelia Hamilton. “Most of us probably grew up having fairy tales read to us as we drifted off to sleep,” an editor’s note reads. “But how many times have you thought back and realized just how, well, grim some of them are?” (Haha.) “Have you ever wondered what those same fairy tales might sound like if the hapless Red Riding Hoods, Hansels and Gretels had been taught about gun safety and how to use firearms?”
Two installments have been published thus far: “Little Red Riding Hood (Has a Gun)” and “Hansel and Gretel (Have Guns).” Neither story requires too close of a reading to determine the author’s intent, but here’s an exemplary excerpt from the first one anyway:
Taking Grandmother by surprise, the wolf easily pushed past her and into her cottage. Grandmother turned so she was face-to-face with the wolf inside her cottage.
“What big eyes you have,” Grandma gasped as she backed away.
“The better to see you with,” replied the wolf.
“What big ears you have,” She turned, with her back to the door.
“The better to hear you with,” the wolf said, coming ever closer.
“What big teeth you have!” Grandma said, as his fierce jaws came near.
“The better to eat you with!” the wolf threatened.
The wolf leaned in, jaws open wide, then stopped suddenly. Those big ears heard the unmistakable sound of a shotgun’s safety being clicked off. Those big eyes looked down and saw that grandma had a scattergun aimed right at him. He realized that Grandmother hadn’t been backing away from him; she had been moving towards her shotgun to protect herself and her home.
“I don’t think I’ll be eaten today,” said Grandma, “and you won’t be eating anyone again.” Grandma kept her gun trained on the wolf, who was too scared to move. Before long, he heard a familiar voice call “Grandmother, I’m here!” Red peeked her head in the door. The wolf couldn’t believe his luck—he had come across two capable ladies in the same day, and they were related! Oh, how he hated when families learned how to protect themselves.
Bit on the nose, maybe.
“The stories are really also for adults, and it’s all about safety,” Hamilton told CBS This Morning on Friday. “It’s for parents to start those conversations.” CBS points out that nobody in the stories actually gets shot.
“There are no consequences for the children here holding guns, walking out into the woods with guns, thinking about killing the bad guys,” Ladd Everitt, a spokesman for the Coalition to Stop Gun Violence, told the New York Times. “Children who might read these stories do not have the emotional maturity to understand that gun ownership does come with risks.”
Mr. Everitt of the Coalition to Stop Gun Violence compared the modified fairy tales to other N.R.A.-produced fare aimed at young people, such as “Noir,” a program on N.R.A. News starring Colion Noir, a young African-American gun enthusiast who shoots guns and delivers monologues on the importance of the Second Amendment against a hip-hop soundtrack.
“The intent here is to create future customers” for the gun industry, said Mr. Everitt. “I think it is wholly a marketing thing.”
“I’m surprised by the fact that it seems like some people didn’t read them before criticizing,” Hamilton told CBS. The next installment, “Three Little Pigs (Have Guns)” is scheduled to be published in May.