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In a week that saw the release of a Miley Cyrus album called Bangerz and a new Justin Bieber slow jam, the wackest bit of pop culture ended up coming from Toddlers & Tiaras. Last night's episode profiled the Hollywood Stars pageant circuit's Hip-Hop Pageant, which elicited tone deaf results at best. Here is the pageant director T&Tsplaining hip-hop: "It's about the bling, the swag, being fierce, and being a diva." If I'm not mistaken that's a quote ripped right from the Sugarhill Gang's songbook.

Highlights, if you want to call them that, are above—let's get some J.Lo, Eminem! Make sure to catch the child dressed as a cheetah and brought to the stage in a cage because, as her former Phishhead mother explains, "The cheetah comes from the African jungle, and hip-hop also came from Africa, so it's sort of the storytelling of the transition coming from Africa into the concrete jungle." Ah yes, it feels like yesterday that hip-hop arrived via the Middle Passage.

By the way, last week's Liza-haired, buzz-cut-hating male judge was back this week, better than ever. Above, he talks about being underwhelmed by one child's "gender-bending," and below was his feedback on another child's so-so dress.