The moment those of us who still care enough to watch Lindsay Lohan's reality show have been waiting for has arrived: Oprah has swooped in to save the day.
Last night's episode of OWN's Lindsay featured an increasingly shy (or...something) Lindsay attempting to shirk her duties as a reality show subject. She attempted to cancel shooting on a production day and then complained about the way things were going to her life coach, A.J. Johnson (who, by the way, played Sharane in House Party).
"I signed up for something to just [have] a camera just be there, not a reality show," said Lindsay Lohan on her reality show, which she and others sometimes refer to as a "documentary." "No offense to the Kardashians. They do a great job with theirs, but I don't ever want to be that."
Oprah caught wind of the trouble Lindsay was causing and confronted Lindsay at her mother's house on Long Island. "So I'm here. I traveled all this way. To see how you are," said Oprah, who knew exactly how Lindsay was.
Oprah told Lindsay, "This is what I really want to say to you: If you're not ready, I'm really OK with that. If you're not ready to keep the commitment that you made with me and the rest of the crew, I really am. Because when I said that in the interview, I know it was on television, I know we're on television now, but my truth is that I really do want you to win. I really do."
And so it went like that with Oprah blurring the line between showing compassion and forcing guilt, and repeating herself regularly for emphasis. Lindsay played a sheep who's in over her head. "It's weird to film things that are going on...I'm just not used to it," said the woman who's been a target of paparazzi's cameras for over a decade.
Lindsay also said that she's still sober and then cried.
Toward the end of the interview, Oprah told Lindsay to "cut the bullshit," as we'd seen in the series' trailer. More notably, after confirming that Lindsay feels that this is her time to turn things around and that she's going to continue with their collaboration, Oprah said, "If that is the case, then you're not going to be fucking up."
"And I know you're surprised to hear me say 'fuck,'" added Oprah, getting into the magic and fun of creating good TV, herself. "I actually love it," said Lindsay with a Cheshire Cat grin.
And all was well, at least for a moment.