There are only several hundred more days until the 2016 presidential election—have you picked your favorite candidate yet? No? Well, perhaps it would help to imagine each one of them, who are all so confident that they should be the next person to run this country into the ground, as a dog.

What kind of dog is each presidential candidate? Through careful scientific calculations, we have determined which breed best matches each hopeful. The following assertions are final.

Hillary Clinton

Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton is intelligent, warm, and popular with old people. She’s a total teacup French bulldog.

Donald Trump

Donald Trump, still polling first among the Republican candidates, is clearly a teacup French bulldog. He’s a barker!

Martin O’Malley

Martin O’Malley, the cutest Democratic presidential candidate since 2004 John Edwards, is a teacup French bulldog. No duh.

Ben Carson

Republican neurosurgeon Ben Carson is soft-spoken and a little sleepy, just like an adorable teacup French bulldog.

Bernie Sanders

Vermont’s own Bernie Sanders has a vision for society “where poverty is absolutely unnecessary, [and] where international relations are not based on greed.” A teacup French bulldog through and through.

Marco Rubio

Would a teacup French bulldog show up to a Senate vote? Probably not, which is why Marco Rubio is that kind of dog.

Carly Fiorina

Some have called the GOP’s only female candidate Carly Fiorina a “pitbull.” Perhaps it would surprise you to know that she is actually a teacup French bulldog.

Jeb Bush

Just like his father and brother, Jeb Bush is a teacup French bulldog.

Ted Cruz

Ted Cruz likes to say he went to Princeton. But did you know he’s also a teacup French bulldog?

Chris Christie

This one was easy: Chris Christie is a teacup French bulldog.

Rand Paul

Rand Paul’s new book, Our Presidents and Their Prayers, has sold fewer than 500 copies since its release two weeks ago, per Nielsen’s BookScan data. He’s a teacup French bulldog.

John Kasich

Teacup French bulldogs are so cute, and I love to look at pictures of them online.

Mike Huckabee

Of all God’s creatures, teacup French bulldogs are probably #1, and I’m sure Mike Huckabee would agree. He’s a teacup French bulldog.

Lead image by Jim Cooke. Candidate photos via Getty. Dog photos via Instagram, Tumblr, and Pinterest. Contact the author at