STwo weeks ago we changed the title of our regular hate mail repository to "Far-Flung Correspondence." Keep flinging poop at us, and we'll keep publishing it.
This week, many of you who know how to read, correctly read the word "fuckload" in a headline describing a "fuckload of diamonds." But you were completely perplexed that "fuckload" was a description that denoted something in a mass quantity. Then, one pen pal blasted a writer with stupidly offensive slurs in response to being blocked—further confirming that blocking this writer was the correct decision. And as usual, our correspondents were mad about holidays and reformatting. More of our far-flung emails, posted below.
SUBJECT: I appreciate
BODY: Thank you for not posting the letter I sent on July 4. I was feeling patriot that day. So go fuck off, shit for brains. See ya!
"Goddamn popular," sounds like a sassy compliment from the 50s or something. I'll take it!
SUBJECT: Big Tip
BODY: Heres one, get that goddamn popular stories crap out of the left side of my webpage, stop fucking with your website ahhhhh
your worse than facebook
SUBJECT: Trayvon photo
Seriously, what. the. fuck?
What's your goal here, dude? Proving that you are in fact a spout for hate speech?
SUBJECT: You blocked me (TheBlackRobe)?
BODY: Just for calling out your indecipherable writing?
REPLY: It was for the "proof read much?" comment. If you want to point out a typo or poorly constructed sentence, don't be a dick about it. For example: http://gawker.com/thanks-it-shou...
RETORT: You're a thin skinned little faggot
And the fuckload of emails about fuckload.
BODY: may want to do a spell check on article on Tiff heist... :)
REPLY: I did! Could you be more specific?
RETORT: sorry...."fuckload" or maybe suppose to be that way...I think it's cool. :) was just wondering. wow, you wrote back, thanks! little late out in New York this time of evening eh... I'm on Wyoming mountain time. Have a good one!
SUBJECT: Article on Tiffany diamond executive
BODY: Look on the internet and you will see the caption Former Tiffany exec arrested for stealing Fuckload of diamonds.....this is correct. I believe that should read Truckload. Check it out
SUBJECT: Story regarding Tiffany Diamonds
BODY: You may have changed it but my story reads FUCKLOAD, maybe it should have read truckload?
That's all in our monkey shit correspondence this week! Enjoy a summery weekend—get outside, take a walk, enjoy your day.
To contact the author of this post, please email firstname.lastname@example.org. Art by Jim Cooke.