Months after Justin Bieber faux-outraged Americans with an adorable little crime spree, the White House has finally responded to a petition to deport the singer back to his native Canada with a polite, "Yeah, no."
270,000 people signed the We The People petition after the tiny pop star egged a neighbor's house and then got arrested for street racing while allegedly under the influence of booze and prescription drugs. (You may remember this as the time we almost saw Even Littler Justin.)
The Obama administration has agreed to respond to any petition that reaches 100,000 signatures, no matter how dumb, with a statement appropriate to that petition's degree of dumbitude. In this case, they subtly acknowledged that everyone hates the Biebs, and then pivoted to immigration reform.
Sorry to disappoint, but we won't be commenting on this one.
The We the People terms of participation state that, "to avoid the appearance of improper influence, the White House may decline to address certain procurement, law enforcement, adjudicatory, or similar matters properly within the jurisdiction of federal departments or agencies, federal courts, or state and local government in its response to a petition."
So we'll leave it to others to comment on Mr. Bieber's case, but we're glad you care about immigration issues. Because our current system is broken. Too many employers game the system by hiring undocumented workers, and 11 million people are living in the shadows.
Your move, federal departments and agencies. At this time, there's been no comment from the CDC on progress toward approving a vaccine for Bieber Fever.