“Where have all the baby Jesuses gone?” ask New Jersey citizens, befuddled by the sudden disappearance of our lord and savior, the newborn lamb.
A spokesperson for the Newark Archdiocese, Jim Goodness, released the following statement:
”It is a police matter. We’ve asked all the parishes to report it to police. It certainly is very distressing that is taking place at this time of year. Our hope is that this is nothing more than a prank. We are hoping police will find out who is doing this.”
Local marauding teens, dark of soul and black of heart, are the chief suspects. However, this is not the first time the little Lord has been stolen from his nest. Apparently, the theft is a yearly tradition in New Jersey, so depraved that last year, a GPS tracker was installed in one of the Jesuses to keep him from galavanting around town.
Police are looking for the person who stole the Baby Jesus from a nativity at the National Christmas Center. pic.twitter.com/wlWyedO71z— William Seiders (@BseidersPhotog) December 28, 2015
What has this world come to, when a baby Jesus may not lay peacefully in his cradle? And where in the world are the baby Jesuses of New Jersey?