Who the Hell Is Paying Paris Hilton Millions to Just Stand Around?

Paris Hilton, the velour-sweatsuit-clad, sticky-lip-glossed ghost of our 2006 collective consciousness, is still somehow convincing people to pay her millions of dollars for the grotesque pleasure of watching her stand around for a few hours. Who the hell would throw that kind of money at her?

Sources say: the owners of a famed nightclub in Ibiza called Amnesia (which a person would have to have to pay Paris Hilton that much in 2014).

According to the Sun, Hilton is earning close to $350,000 an hour for a strenuous routine of standing around looking bored and pressing play on her iTunes playlist.

Per the AZ Central:

The heiress kicked off her run of 13 gigs with a set at Ibiza's Amnesia club, where she has a residency, on Wednesday night, but she was blasted for earning her huge $347,000-an-hour pay packet for simply ''pressing play'' as other workers reportedly did a lot of the technical work.

When all is said and done, Hilton is expected to rake in around $2.7 million.

"Surely they must be on drugs," you think to yourself. Turns out, they are!

''The crowds do seem to enjoy it but most are too off their faces to care that she's simply pressed play on a Beyoncé megamix,'' a source explained to the Sun.

[image via AP]