"Natural" Diet Supplements Full of All Types of Crazy SpeedS

If there's anything Americans enjoy almost as much as gobbling fried foods topped with Cheez, it's gobbling menacingly-named "diet supplements" in a desperate attempt to lose weight. Today, more evidence that Who Knows What The Hell Is Even In That Crap?

In what has become a regularly recurring story, USA Today reports that the FDA went and tested 21 of those "all natural" diet supplements in a real live science lab, and discovered that nine of the 21 contained beta-methylphenethylamine, a "'non-natural' amphetamine-like compound." Supplement companies say it is natural, because it comes from a plant called Acacia rigidula, but the FDA disputes that.

The data indicates that "all natural" products such as Fastin-XR, Stimerex, Lipodrene Hardcore, and Dexaprine XR may be adulterated with amphetamines. But they sounded so natural! What next? Will we find out that crystal meth is not an all natural substance, as well?

Stick with NO-Xplode, kids. Or just, you know, run around the block.

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