Word Terrorism: Send Your Selfies To the Ideas EditorS

selfie: (noun) Nobody has any idea how to take a photograph of another person. Or, everyone hates you. What else explains the badly lit and poorly focused horror mugshots your so-called friends produce when pointing their phones at you? Did they try to zoom in on the first pimple you've had in three years, or are they just fundamentally inept at life? Is it absurd to think a person might use the simple photo-editing tools on every phone to change your eyes from demonic-idiot red to their actual color, or to maybe remove that sesame seed stuck between your front teeth? The selfie is your only shot at ever having a decent shot of yourself. Don't be embarrassed. Take as many pictures as it takes to get one of your beautiful face, instead of your flabby arm that somehow got all the light from the flash.

ideas editor: (job title) An idea is a thought form. An editor works for a website trying to get as many retweets and likes as possible for yet another list of somebody's favorite episodes. Nobody knows the meaning of ideas editor, but it's one of the jobs now offered to the well-connected lucky few entering the exciting world of media. If offered such a job, simply praise the work of others who hold the same position at competing websites, because the person interviewing you will also have no idea what ideas editor means.

domestic violence: (noun) Household mayhem unleashed upon your spouse, elderly parent, terrified child, pregnant girlfriend or other victim of convenience when there's not an innocent youth walking by your home at the moment when your brutal rage needs another victim—preferably one who won't fight back.

BatKid: (proper noun) Proof that even an entirely fictional and brutally violent masked sociopath can warm everyone's heart when portrayed by a little boy fighting leukemia.

We are terrorized by language every day! Word Terrorism keeps you up to date and explains what these insidious terms really mean. Have you been the victim of Word Terrorism? Please file your report in the comments below.