About one in five Britons recently said they would consider having sex with a specific genus of robot. This seems low. I think a lot of people are lying.

The Guardian set off a firestorm earlier this week when it published the results of a promotional poll on how we deal with our rapidly cyber-synergistic omniverse, or something:

More than one in three Britons fear the rise of the machines will threaten the human race, a survey has claimed.

Almost as many worry they could lose their job to robots, and 10% expect to see RoboCop-style police in 10 years' time.

Seventeen per cent of those questioned, meanwhile, said they would be prepared to "have sex with an android", though 41% thought the notion was "creepy" and a further 14% said robots should not be used in this way.

The results of the 2,000-person poll, to be clear, are part of a PR campaign for a new UK television show about robotic cops. Although they did enlist the assistance of a robotics professor at the University of Middlesex, which, come on, robotics and sex. Right there in the name.

Advertisement

Now, they're talking about a specific subset of robots, androids. Androids are supposed to look or feel human. And we fuck things that look or feel human all the time, from electronic sex dolls to power-drill-assisted fleshlights. Here's how you make a power-drill-assisted fleshlight, by the way (there's a basically SFW but still-disconcerting demonstration at 5:48):

And, of course, we often fuck actual humans that act like robots.

And that's just the thing. You're online right now. Later, you'll be online some more. In between, you'll operate a mechanical vehicle from the place where your labor is employed to meet productivity goals to the place where you recharge. You are, quite literally, a robotnik. You are already a cyborg. So really, the question is: Would anybody fuck you?