Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline - Gawker Comments

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

souhaite — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 15:46:12 EST

"Podunk Times-Picayune"? C'mon - leave New Orleans out of this. For what it's worth, the hometown TP is actually a pretty good paper. Puts the crap available to me now in the Bay Area to shame.

souhaite

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

Swordfish — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 03:53:42 EST

The things the Times now does to suck up to advertisers....

Swordfish

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

AndIAmTellingYou — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 23:47:59 EST

I just vomited in my mouth. What that f@#k?!

Tomorrow, I am sooo going to the Grad Advising office at my university and b@$#hslapping them all. J-School my ass!

Paris + Britney + La Lohan + The Gray Old Hag = BFF!

AndIAmTellingYou

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

AndIAmTellingYou — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 23:43:38 EST

I just vomited in my mouth. What da f@%$?!

Tomorrow, I am sooo going to the Careers Services office at my college and b$#@hslapping them all... J-school my butt!

The Gray Old Hag has been smokin' something.

AndIAmTellingYou

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

Seeräuber Jenny — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 22:03:45 EST

NYT:

Yap yap yap meritocracy yap yap yap Mary-Kate Olsen yap yap yap ...

And the other thing that incenses me with sections like this: If it's that wonderful, don't hide the ball -- Come straight out and tell me how much it costs.

If it's really that great, the price tag won't cut through the mists of illusion. (It seldom is.)

(Hint: This is how middle-aged women who purportedly are preoccupied with dental work* actually think.)

*Supposedly the ideal readers of the NYT, per interview posted here last week.

Seeräuber Jenny

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

SOhp101 — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 21:58:30 EST

What can I say except that was the saddest writing I have ever read in my life. From someone that supposedly graduated from high school.

SOhp101

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

gardencat — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 21:54:13 EST

Quote:
"I have a large, red quilted Chanel bag that I borrowed from my sister Ashley. I wore it to an event and never gave it back. Luckily, she's moved on to another bag, so I'm safe for now."

So she had to borrow it and was worried that she might get in trouble for not returning it...she couldn't just go and buy her very own Chanel bag. Life's dilemmas.

gardencat

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

Pandora Spocks — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 21:27:16 EST

Angelina -- With that sort of stupid response you might be the real thing. Let us know when you're done saving the world one baby at a time so the rest of us can get on with our lives, 'kay?

Pandora Spocks

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

mamacita — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 21:22:34 EST

"When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him."

mamacita

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

readinessisall — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 19:23:50 EST

I have a pair of gray socks. I also have a pair of black socks. I usually put these on before I wear shoes. I have a red toothbrush. I keep it in a cup when I am not using it. I don't know how often I replace my toothbrush. Let's just say that I aim for once a month. Right now, I am sitting in a chair- but that's inconsequential.

readinessisall

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

SylviaPlathWasFramed — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 18:23:42 EST

Karl Lagerfeld: You're in big trouble, mister.

SylviaPlathWasFramed

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

ZiggyStardust — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:48:56 EST

I blame Will Leitch. I mean, c'mon, the guy has had 2 op-eds in the last 6 months. Once you start allowing that to happen, this is the next natural occurance...

ZiggyStardust

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

citytropic — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:41:07 EST

Way taller.

citytropic

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

ellagood — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:40:08 EST

@t.a.m.s.y.: first time i laughed all day. thank you.

ellagood

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

LatestBy — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:37:26 EST

Whatevs. You could stack the Olsens up on each other shoulders Seven Dwarf style in a raincoat and we'd still all be taller. Yes, that's what I'm clinging to. Taller.

LatestBy

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

giraffeluvah — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:36:36 EST

Could you have. A few. More short. Sentences. Please. I can't follow long. Drawn-out. THOUGHTS*.

*By thoughts I mean ghostwriter interpretations of cocaine babble about new "fashion" line by Ida the homeless woman with pilgrim shoes.

giraffeluvah

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

NYM — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:34:35 EST

The Gray Lady should hang her head in shame.

NYM

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

angelina — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:29:51 EST

WOW! OMG! Wearing versus carrying! OMG! RIDICULOUS! You don't say?!
GASP!
ABSURD!

assholes.

angelina

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

Ha Ha Sound — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:26:11 EST

@marcassha: I'm giving Mary-Kate the benefit of the doubt. Word on the street is that her on-set tutor held her back in the second grade twice (she apparently never mastered the art of writing in cursive).

Ha Ha Sound

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

fitts — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:18:54 EST

Did anyone notice that after every second line there is a double space? Do you think it's on purpose?

fitts

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

visavis — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:18:12 EST

Any person who pays $700 for a cotton tank by The Row deserves to get hit by a bus.

visavis

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

westward ho — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:17:32 EST

Sheofthesocks wins.

Soul queefing!

westward ho

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

marcassha — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:13:50 EST

Ha Ha Sound...I don't think even fourth graders write as poorly as Mary Kate.

Seriously...WTF? Did the Times actually kill a tree to publish this idiot's missive?

marcassha

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

AustinJ — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:11:04 EST

I think I reread her "article" about 3 times trying to think of a witty comment before stopping and realizing how sad that was. Wow, I hate myself.

AustinJ

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

t.a.m.s.y. — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:08:49 EST

The Row cements Olsen's status as a fashion icon... "My clothing lines are inspired daily by fashion, art, music and culture."

Well, no wonder she's a fashion icon. Her clothing lines are even inspired by fashion! And culture! DAILY!!! Every day. Sundays even. None of that biweekly shit.

t.a.m.s.y.

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

She_of_the_Socks — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:07:39 EST

I would say that I've just thrown up a little in my mouth, but that would be both cliched and unsatisfactory. I think its more apt to say that I just queefed a little in my soul.

She_of_the_Socks

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

garth — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:04:10 EST

Sadder still: The photograph accompanying the article is of a black quilted Chanel bag.

garth

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

rod townsend — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 16:59:10 EST

With her latest clothing line, The Row, Mary-Kate Olsen has graduated from the style pages to the garment district.

But does she have a GED?

rod townsend

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

Pandora Spocks — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 16:51:59 EST

It wasn't me who was going to "open a vein." I'm always the one who threatens to take the gaspipe. Lots neater.

Pandora Spocks

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

La Cieca — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 16:44:53 EST

But to wear a Chanel bag, wouldn't you have to cut leg holes in it? Or did MK just hook her arms through the handles and wear it as a shrug?

La Cieca

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

The Real JR — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 16:44:17 EST

Did she also mention the time when she got pulled over by a cop and she didn't have a license so she pretended to be her sister which then gets Elizabeth in trouble with-

Damn, I gotta keep reminding myself that was in Sweet Valley High.

The Real JR

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

TedSez — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 16:42:31 EST

"I have a large, red quilted Chanel bag that I borrowed from my sister Ashley. I wore it to an event and never gave it back. Luckily, she's moved on to another bag."

I'm glad to hear that Ashley still has a place to live!

TedSez

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

Catty Is Cumbersome — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 16:41:51 EST

I don't know about everyone else, but I CARRY my bag. I never WEAR it.

Catty Is Cumbersome

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

Procrastinator, Esq. — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 16:37:07 EST

Well, at least she didn't awkwardly type out her piece on a Blackberry like so many failed Lindsay Lohan missives. I wonder how many edits were required in order to turn her writing into something remotely (and I use the following term loosely) readable.

Procrastinator, Esq.

Mary-Kate Olsen Gets A 'Times' Byline

Ha Ha Sound — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 16:36:29 EST

I didn't realize that the Times had started printing fourth-grade essays. Maybe I should send them my old "Why 21 Jump Street is My Favorite TV Show" essay. I got a B+ on it.

Ha Ha Sound