hjreads

So, Rudin and his partner are preparing to leave for a weekend trip and his 4 assistants are running around the city collecting stuff he needs for the weekend ($100 shampoo and so forth-yes he is bald). The assistant who was in charge of getting scripts together for Rudin to read over the weekend was unfortunately caught in traffic on his way up to meet the boss at the San Remo. Rudin, infuriated that he has to *gasp* wait a mere two seconds phones the assistant and screams..."Where the Fuck is my Mother-fucking C*nt-licking Backpack, you Fucking Fuck!"

Thus giving us the best line ever delivered in the history of evil bosses. Needless to say that assistant is no longer with SR Productions.

thesternern

nursinghomelife

I would have submitted her before, but I think she moved on to Harvard.

beccalou

secondbestbest

Swordfish

Sexual orientation aside, that's no theory. There's photographic proof.

valet_of_the_dolls

And never underestimate the power of commiseration. Once sacked, a lot of these assistants go on to work for former slaves who've gone on to successful and infinitely more enjoyable gigs.

transomist

6hourslater

Two stories from his L.A. days: One day he was in his office alone and knocked over a bottle of water on his desk. He was so pissed off that he went out and fired an assistant.

Then, one year at Christmastime (this would have been around 1994 or so), he began hinting to the office that he was thinking about going to London for the holiday, but only if they got a shitload of stuff done first. His staff, hoping for s few days respite from the madness over the holiday, busted their humps, all while Rudin played the "maybe I'm going, maybe I'm not" game. Finally, on the afternoon of the 23rd or so, he told an assisttant, "get me two tickets to London tonight." No dice. Everything was sold out. Rudin tore his office door off the hinges over that one.

The theory is that he's a fat, ugly, gay fuck who has worked himself into a position of power just so that he can abuse all these handsome frat boy types who wouldn't have anything to do with him in the real world.

Heyworth

i'll bet he gets really red and sweaty when he's mad. has anyone ever seen these people get told off? is there anyone kamikaze enough to do that?

I presume that these sorts of bosses screen for interns who "have no place else to go." They wouldn't hire anyone with an engineering degree who wants to break into the entertainment industry, because he could always yell back at the boss and leave for greener pa$ture$ if necessary. However, the communications or film major from Ohio at his first internship out of college who has always dreamed of working in the film industry is stuck where he is.

Constantine

lalalina

jeanutters

The job: Intern for a film producer

"When I got there, the first thing they gave me was an intern manual in question-and-answer format. The first question was: 'How do you talk to [the boss]?' and the answer was, 'You don't, unless he talks to you first.' So, that was my first clue. He wasn't there the first few days, so the mood was light, but when he came in it just changed to absolute terror. He was one of the worst people I've ever encountered - the kind who throws phones at people. One job I had was to program new cellphones, because he would break so many in anger that he had to have five ready to go, so when he broke one he could just grab another. He'd insult his assistants all the time. You'd hear him yelling, 'You're an idiot, how did you get this job?' The phone system - and specifically how assistants handled the transferring of calls - was a really big deal, so if someone accidentally dropped a call, you'd see grown men almost on the verge of tears as they apologized. He just proceeded to call them idiots."

jabber

BadUncle

lovelyday

Sue Duhnim