<![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> It took me ages to realise you guys were talking about Andrew, and not the guy on the left in the nice hat and T-shirt. I must be douched by an invisible hand. Gee, hope not..
i-banker, eh? Ever heard of cockney rhyming slang?

Killcondo

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> "I like to shine my own shoes." Good thing, Andy cause you're one tool who may soon be looking for a trade. 'nuff said.

TheUSEFULfailure

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Wow, I didn't think you could walk into Bear with anything other than a Rolex, my mistake.

belle2933

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> First off, just want to say I've thoroughly enjoyed reading the posts, especially the ones from Andy's friends. Andy doesn't just "come off bad in the interview," he IS that bad. I know him, and wow, that article doesn't even do him justice.

He did go to Vassar, he's totally and 100% for real about all those things he said, and I'm sure he's making tons of money.

But I also happen to know that he shaves his chest, he's a bed-wetter, and he's about 4 feet tall.

KARMA'S A BITCH.

karmapolice

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> You know something...I agree. Andy does look like a complete ass here. And as someone who knows him, I can say that he sometimes comes off like that in person as well. But the truth is that Andy is actually an incredibly cool guy who doesn't deserve this. And this is coming from someone who generally thinks i-bankers are the scum of the earth.

anothervasshole

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> How is it that no one noticed that his suit cuffs are unbuttoned??? It's a purposeless, pomous gesture, and a classic sign of a guy trying WAY too hard. In his petty, banker-way, he's screaming to the world, "Hey -- my suit has real button holes! REAL F-ING BUTTON HOLES! It cost me tons of money!"

Perhaps he hoped that readers would notice the botton holes (or pen? WTF?) rather than his face? Looks like the survey results are in, though -- his double chin stole the show....

odonnela

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Lets all tip our glasses and give a warm douchebag toast:

"Here's to Living single, Seeing double, Threesomes, Foreplay, Five of a kind, Six-packs, Seven days a week- New York".

ssirenss

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Hey, How did Vassar get dragged into this fray?!?!

:-)

MrCondo

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> This guy is my hero! Wait, sorry, I was momentarily clouded by my Claritin and Beef Eaters. He's the classic pretentious over compensator, or as you summed it up, a dbag. I won't mention that he's probably packing a tic-tac for a unit. Oops.

Hug It.

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @Grad-Student:

Your flair for irony is delicious!!!

To write "I worked in an urban high school last year and am now a PhD student in philosophy. I've made less than $20K in the two years since graduation" and then announce that others are douchebags? You and your sly gnat-choking Vassar wit!!! While you could have simply written "I taught for a year and am now in grad school," you decided to take the faux self-satisfied "I'm a martyr who taught poor kids in scary places for low pay and read (and understand) Heidegger" route. Well played!!! I was nearly convinced you were serious.

As for saying these things to Spandy's face, I'm far too busy working with Haitian AIDS orphans for no pay while drafting my dissertation on quantum theory to tell Spandy to never speak about the cost of one's belongings to anyone, let alone a reporter. Perhaps you'll tell him?

Nard

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> I met an I-banker last week at a party who thought the New York Post and the Washington Post were owned by the same company because they both ended with "Post." When I mentioned this to his other I-banker friend, he said, "How are we expected to know who owns what? We're not journalists." Then he talked about how intelligent he was to have attended TWO Ivy League schools. Ugh.

demetria23

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> The funny thing is, the thing that's going to get him fired/demoted/disciplined won't be the douchebaggery of the bragging about the $5K watch and $3K suits. That stuff is standard.

What will cause the screen door to slam on his his ass on his way out of his (dirty, dirty) bank is his "projected bonus," the revelation of which will cause both his colleagues and his bosses to go through the fucking roof.

First of all, don't even attempt to project a bonus before November. His colleagues are going to lose it because none of them are making anything like $190K, and his bosses because not only is this kid presumptuous, but now all the other snot-nosed wannabe delusional second-year analysts will be asking for $190K come December. Awkward!

cassandra

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> And, incidentally, there isn't enough wit among the lot of you to choke a gnat.

au contraire, i just used the wit in this thread to help keep my apartment bug-free. although, to be strictly honest, there is still an issue with ants in the closet.

slinkimalinki

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Andy will be out faster than Imus. Time to hock those watches dude.

the-cubicle-dweller

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Whomever said that banks frown on this kind of "press" is a major understatement. Andy's boss, the real i-banker (there is no way lil Andy is a true "i-banker, but may work in a group for some, research, fetch coffee, etc) is probably working out how to keep his job long enough for his replacement to be trained (5 days or so). HR at whatever bank he works for - assuming it is one of the many many major and minor banks in this city - is filling his walking papers right this minute. Andy may be a great guy, great worker, but he is a shitty interview. Thnak god he has that watch to support him while he finds a new career.

lovelyday

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> I know this kid and he is actually a great guy (not at all like he is made out to be in the article). Fact is that he got screwed by the journalist that wrote the article and attributed all sort of quotes to him when he was actually saying that people in the industry do these things. I know for a fact that he owns a cheap watch, and not a Breitling.

piperwarrior

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> And now that I've said that, I'd totally do this guy for the money.

phil anderson

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @Grad-Student: If you allow yourself to be interviewed and to consent to letting that interview be published, you also consent to exactly what's happening here.

That being said, the same goes for creating accounts with MySpace, Friendster, Facebook, Match.com, eHarmony, Jdate, DList, Manhunt, etc, etc, the list goes on, where you can place your name, information, and a picture of yourself: if you're so concerned about your privacy, avoid reporters and please, please, avoid the internet.

phil anderson

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> I think this will answer alot of questions...

http://www.newsmeat.com/fec/bystate_detail.php?st=&zip=100...

jb1

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> All the questions this guy was asked deal with how he spends his money, so obviously his answers are about his material possessions.  He's getting torn apart for spending a lot of money on the things he likes -- it's his money, he isn't working 90 hours a week for his health.

The article doesn't talk about all the other things he could be spending money on -- like saving baby kittens, or turning them into suits. But either way it probably isn't a very accurate representation of anyone.

dontbemean

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> What happened to the American Dream? Why are we maligning a guy who has worked hard and bought himself some nice stuff, with his own money. I've known Andrew for a few years now. He is an earnest kid who's worked very hard to achieve everything that he has. Yes, I will admit that he comes off as arrogant and superficial but we all need to realize that tabloids often misquote sources. While I will admit that Andrew displayed a great deal of immaturity by talking to this reporter, he deserves a break. Let's cut him some slack.

bankerbanker

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @Grad-Student: Philosophically speaking, wouldn't a true friend would wager his OWN salary?

Little Mintz Sunshine

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> When I read this piece, I almost choked on the ice in my Gordon's & tonic. WTF?! This guy sounds like a fucking piker.

He certainly dresses like one. Brioni or Kiton suits would have been much more impressive than HF. Thomas Pink shirts are for wannabes. Breitling? Don't make me laugh. Rolex is the only way to go.

Same with his shoes. Ferragamo? You must be joking. Ferragamo is for poseurs and guidos. Try Edward Green, Santoni, Grenson, or even Gucci.

Finally, any guy under the age of 40 who wears French-cuffs (a.k.a. double cuffs) is just begging to get his arse kicked. This guy is an amateur.

Grayson

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @Grad-Student: "Any of us could be made to look bad, given the right editing."

or when we don't self-edit. stellar gnat comeback.

mwah.

ellagood

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> So where's he work? At my bank, this douchebaggery would get me fired. Never talk to reporters.

AustinJ

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @laurosaur:

Bullshit. Nietzsche never heard of the internets.

Seriously, you guys sticking up for Andy are good friends, but this is the result of stupidity - or, if you prefer, "bad judgement" - on his part.

I probably don't need to mention that he doesn't come across too well with all that crap about watches and cigars.

zibby

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> This is Captain Max Paddington, of the NYDP - The New York Douche Patrol. I've got a report of a 4-8-6, that is, a Douche Bag Incident being blown way out of proportion...

Sure, this guy comes off as a huge Bag... but isn't that just part of the profession? Shouldn't we be picking apart the institution that created such Douche-Like Behaviour in the first place? One that requires such bankers to adopt Douche-Habits in order to fit in and succeed? How many 24 year old cigar smokers honestly enjoy cigars? It's all just one big Douch-Facade maintained by the Douche-Bank (not to be confused with Deutsch Bank).

I'm sure he's gotten enough grief from his Douche-Colleagues. Enough blood has been spilled! Time to stem the flow. Case closed.

Captain Max Paddington, NYDP

CaptainMaxPad

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Gawker writer's tools of the trade:
1. Self importance
2. Social elitism
3. Inferiority complex somehow coupled with false sense of intellectual superiority
4. Memories of a lonely and unhappy childhood
5. Intolerance

It must be hard to be so impossibly cool and beyond social reproach.

newyorknewyork

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> he said, SUCK MY SELF-SATISFIED WEEENIEEEEEEE!

laurosaur

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> And what did Nietzsche have to say about self-satisfied wieners who spend their time picking apart strangers on the internet?

Grad-Student

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @GorgeousGeorge: I've definitely seen things like that on people's resumes.

Gwinny

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> I went to college with Andy - we graduated together in 2005. We've done very different things since graduation, though. I worked in an urban high school last year and am now a PhD student in philosophy. I've made less than $20K in the two years since graduation. This is all to establish that I know Andy personally and that I have absolutely nothing to do with the professional world he now inhabits.

That said, you're all a bunch of douchebags.

Andy's a very upright and personable guy - and he works extremely hard. You're judging him based on the two minutes of his interview that made it into the paper. Any of us could be made to look bad, given the right editing.

It's pathetic that you spend so much effort picking apart strangers from the safe anonymity of your computers. If I had it, I'd wager Andy's salary that the vast majority of you wouldn't have the courage to say any of these things to him in person.

And, incidentally, there isn't enough wit among the lot of you to choke a gnat.

Grad-Student

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> I know this kid very well. He is honest and hard working. Unfortunately, he displayed tremendously bad judgment by talking to a friend of a friend who is a reporter. He has been maliciously quoted out of context and been put forth as a fool for all the internet to ridicule. Cut him some slack.

Catfish

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> So he puts cigars on his resume, and then ends up with a $190K salary as a supposed i-banker and buying his own Blackberry. Surely there's a lesson here!

pocketnovel

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Andrew Caselli, Vassar College '05, Economics Major.

vasshole07

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> As a pacifist it pains me to say this, but...

I so want to kick that fat fuck right in the balls. What a smug little bastard.

gonzosmom

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> A candidate for Details' "Nominate A Douche", perchance?

http://men.style.com/details/features/sweeps/face/entry/lo...

kat

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Hey, I went to high school with this kid in Rochester. It appears his doucheness has grown exponentially. The daddy supported U of R grad guess is not far off, except I think it was Brown.

FMJulius

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @theyoungkid: Indeed, you are mistaking contempt for jealousy. I believe Nietzsche referred to his kind as the "superfluous". That is, those mindlessly engaged in the pursuit of material wealth.

Of course, we may be judging the man prematurely. At twenty-eight, he may turn his back on douchebagville and become an environmental biologist.

But probably not.

TheLorax

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> When the hell did "resume" come back into fashion, huh? I thought we were all using "c.v."?

Little Mintz Sunshine

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Andy Caselli, Vassar '05. Fodder: here, here, and here.

tehtruth

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Sadly, I don't think he's even halfway joking about putting 'cigar aficionado' on his resume.

It's not much of a stretch to imagine some white-shoe firm taking one look at him and saying: "Well, son, you claim to like cigars and you don't appear to be a minority. When can you start?"

GorgeousGeorge

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> It may surprise all commenters (or actually not) to know that "Andrew" went to Vassar College and earned the nickname "Spandy" during his undergraduate years for his proclivity for all things "crew oriented". It is such a good thing to know that he has moved from synthethic to natural fibers. He was always a tool, who discorved alcohol at the late age of 21. Duffel Bag it is.

vassarhater

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> "I don't really drink coffee because it's a slow process."

he's the real deal. everyone knows an i-banker snorts his coffee.

"I've been smoking cigars for four years now, it's even on my résumé. Liking cigars is a good talking point."

i have no comment here. i just wanted to read it again.

ellagood

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @nonethewiser:

That reminded me of another first grade writing assignment on "How I ate my dinner" join me down memory lane....

"And in that fantasy, fat tapioca pearls loom large. They are simmered with Thai chilies, Sichuan peppercorns, cinnamon and chipotle, then paired with slivers of raw tuna in a cool coconut broth sharpened with kaffir lime. The dish is eaten with a spoon."

A spoon? A fucking spoon? Really? Wow. A real spoon? One of those stick things with a little bowl-shaped thing on the end? One of them? A "spoon"?

dado

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @oovy:

I agree about the douchettes. If it is revealed that this guy is fake (which I think he is), the bridges and tunnels will be flooded with tears of hearbreak.

Nard

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @theyoungkid: It's not jealously, it's repugance at a vile person in a vile profession. It's like hating Dick Cheney or something... could it really be any other way?

Ha Ha Sound

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> I sense a lot of jealousy here...what is it about competent -- but fully interchangeable -- ex-jocks with robust paychecks that rubs some people the wrong way? That he is a certified douchebag is certain, but it only nourishes his sense of entitlement and sophisticated pretensions (Milk & Honey! I bet the man fancies a good piece of steak, too) when you dwell on his material excess.

theyoungkid

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @backslider:

I guarantee it.

econdave

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> ...annnnd now I see most of what I said has already been covered.

Gwinny

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> I agree that the i-banker's a tool, but he's only 24 -- therefore his $190K salary/bonus is actually pretty standard (he's probably only an analyst at this point).

In any case, it's about seven times more than I was making at that age...

Gwinny

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> C'mon, give the guy a break.

Can you imagine what adolescence was like for him?

dango

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @Little Mintz Sunshine: My thoughts exactly - wonder if he brings his cardboard to work? Could the tailors be bribed to sew his inseam in such a way as to make him permanently sterile?

yaya

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> The sooner this guy goes to jail after getting caught slipping GHB in some floosie's drink after a few too many Bud Ices at Yogi's, the better . . .

DonLaFontaine

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> I'm not exactly a clothes horse, but you can get a better looking, better-fitting suit at Men's Warehouse for $250.

backslider

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> I think the pasty face comes from keeping all doors and windows shut. You know, to keep the bugs out.

Little Mintz Sunshine

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Those Romanians really know how to measure an inseam. Extra cuppage.

SuckItUp

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> I almost yerped when I read this over my morning Cocoa Puffs. I didn't know duffel bags like this guy still existed. He's soooo 80's.

SecureLocation

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Hey mister, Two Words:
Face Yoga

HoHoKennedy

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> It's people like Aleksey Vayner and this guy that are allowing my age group to truly give "The Greatest Generation" a run for their money.
'Nuff said indeed.

HeyThatsMyBike

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> "Some of my friends and I go to Milk & Honey. It's really small and there are rules. Men can't approach women, you have to make reservations and they chip the ice into your drink."

This sounds like a first grade writing assignment, "How I Spent My Weekend."

nonethewiser

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @netoulouse:

If you listen to that watch real closely, you can hear it going "dick dick dick dick dick."

Truculent

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @SixThirty: Actually the reason they probably stopped popping by was the death-breath combination of scotch, Bud, cigars and ass. And sugar-free Redbull? I never knew that shit could bloat ya like that. Most wait until 30 to pull the rip cord, but not this badboy.

fortqueenmean

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> I see this f*$#ing guy everywhere! There are clones of him on UES and Murray Hill. There must be a factory in Rochester that manufactures them. Why couldn't the VT gunman pick these people instead.

TheOG

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> "Every two weeks I buy a 12-pack of sugar-free Red Bull. I have one before I get in the shower, and then I drink one on the way to work. I don't really drink coffee because it's a slow process. Redbull is portable and it gets you ready to embrace the day."

Does he do this every day? Either he runs out of Red Bull on day six and spends the second week in an angry, decaf haze... or he's just terrible at math. And good math ability is something I look for in a banker, just below their ability to use red pens and cigars as stand-ins for a non-existent phallus.

optical_allusion

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @HokeCabit: You make a good point. Regardless, I also enjoy the semi-feudal "There is a Romanian couple that have been doing my father's suits for years. They are trusted in the family..." line, which seems to point out that crux of the i-banker mentality, that being the constant urge to prove the presence of money in their hereditary line.

netoulouse

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Is this guy Carrie Gross' live-in boyfriend?

Ha Ha Sound

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @dotorg greg: Nope, that's the guy - unless there's another one like him, which wouldn't stun me.

zibby

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @copyed: You know, I'm willing to bet some woman just used the "You're not allowed to approach women in this bar." line to rid herself of this douche, and Douchetard here not only believed it, but rationalized into one more reason why the bars he goes to are just that cool.

SixThirty

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> LOOK AT MY STRIPED SHIRT!!!!F-ING LOOK AT IT!

newyorkese

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Take it easy on the poor Romanian couple and their tailoring prowess. Bill fucking Cosby couldn't keep that much jello under control if he tried.

HokeCabit

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Ugh, I can smell his popped pink polo collar all the way from here. It makes me think more bars and offices and cities need to have rules that forbid men from approaching women...

maevemealone

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Where's Patrick Bateman when we need him?

hhpeterson13

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @SixThirty: Well, there's no alcohol in Bud Ice, so no contradiction, right? He's still a moron, though, because I'm sure the PBR is a better deal.

I went to Yogi's once and liked it, but now that I know this guy is there I'm never going back.

Also: a bar where men can't approach women? WTF? I'm up for going with Zibby, just to get kicked out. But then my wife will kick me out of the apartment too, for the same reason. You can't win in this life.

copyed

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> A few points in addition to those already caught by eagle-eyed fellow forum-ers:

- That little Romanian couple that's been in the family for years? Fire them, because that suit is bunching and pleating like it's going out of style. If you want to project an image of power and finesse (and are wearing a $2700 suit), may I suggest not folding your arms and standing in half-profile?

- The Rolex Submariner's bezel is not "half blue". It's green, or blue. Sometimes it's black. The GMT-Master is the one with the half-red, half-blue bezel.

And yes, thanks, I did just out-douche Mr. I Insist That You Think I Insist Upon Quality himself.

netoulouse

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @In Other News...: Hey now, lay off Rochester. Some of us were born there. Doesn't mean we go back there to get our suits tailored though.

SixThirty

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Cigars? I thought coke habits were the resumé builders for these douches?

Mabimab

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> ...and that looks like a blue pen behind his lobes. Please, something plunge it into his ear canal, repeatedly.

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Kids, let's all get on teh myspacesterbook and link the douche to a name. I'm guessing he went to U of R with a big assist from Dad's donations and the local-kid curve . . .

sheistolerable

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> R O C H E S T E R ? ? ?

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @zibby:is he different from the analyst who got fired from Morgan Stanley for being named in the NYT as the owner of a mere four-figure Tag Heuer?

dotorg greg

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Being in and around I-Banking for the last ten years, this type of douche isn't uncommon unfortunately. But, this tool is 4 years ahead of schedule in regards to his sense of entitlement. He needs a complete beating by the senior level I-Bank douches.

Unless he was a grad out of a top tier business school, I am fairly sure that his 190K comp is a fraud. Most second years will crack six figures but not much higher.

All in all tool boy was the one that got his ass kicked in the playground from kindergarten through 12th grade. It's society's fault, we created this wad.

the-cubicle-dweller

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> I'm confused:
If "The only alcohol I drink is Blanton's whiskey, Woodford Reserve (a small-batch bourbon) and Glenlivet 15-year (a single-malt scotch)" then why would he care about cheap pitchers of Bud Lite?
I imagine the reason "people started calling less and less" had little-to-nothing to do with his work schedule.

SixThirty

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> I wonder if Yogi's puts that beer dildo - "beerdo", if you will - into his pitcher of Bud Ice? Certainly would up the douche quotient a notch.

ElectricJennyLand

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> It's gotta be tough to be this guy. You buy a 2500 dollar suit, a 700 dollar silk tie to match, and then when you gank the tie up real tight to sharpen up your image, your pasty double-chin ruins the whole image by bubbling out like a squeezed sausage.

Pope John Peeps II

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> I also forgot to mention that most "real" fianancial firms strongly discourage - if not expressly forbid - their employees from participating in these sort of Spendy McSpend profiles.

Anyone remember the Uberconsumer from a while back?

zibby

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> This guy works at the Jamba Juice on University. Swear to God. Saw him there lat week.

sexbot

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @PikachuMcHeidegger: That made me laugh out loud, because I am a dork. But better that than a tool.

Diglett

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> This has got to be the first banker I've come across who actually prefers red ink. That does stand out.

air polloi

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @Sigerson Holmes:
This guy calls for one of Balk's spoofs. I also think he's a fake. The "projected bonus," the $5k watch, the pencil behind the ear and all the rest of it sound like pure bull. For one thing, all the senior investment bankers would eat alive any second-year analyst who dared to dress so far above his pay grade. Or should I say, imaginary pay grade. Also, who the hell uses a pen anymore? All he has to do is sit at his computer crunching Excel spreadsheets. Although, given his old-fashioned idea of what investment bankers do, maybe he's been using an abacus?

cassandra

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> I never understand how pasty-white, not overly-attractive, somewhat chubby dudes like this always seem to somehow end up thinking they are cooler than shit.

And look at that smug, douchey pose of his. If I walked into the office each day and had to work with that, I'd want to completely pummel him first thing.

Looker

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> What's truly frightening is that for every me who finds his profile beyond revolting, there are six or seven douchettes who have found their "classy" ideal.

Diglett

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Just to be a rebel, I think I'm going to roll into Milk & Honey - ya know, next time I can get a rezzy - and start approaching women.

Anyone wanna come with?

zibby

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Any self-respecting "I-banker" knows that red pens are verboten anywhere near a trading floor. Red = losses. He will never amount to anything and will drink himself to death trying to unload his timeshare with Sandals to make his alimony payments.

dado

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> How about a dating site just for guys like this? Douchematch.com?

NYM

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> If the guy is really 24 he's most likely a second year analystin whic case he's making 70K with an expected bonus of 75-120K for this bonus season. So 190K is very high, and very few second years will be getting anywhere close to that.

And FaceMeetsFirst, bankers are not well known for saving or making good financial decisions. They need all the material comforts they can to somehow validate their empty lives.

ae38

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @zibby: The buying his own Blackberry thing is a little odd, though some firms give you the option to choose your device (Treo/Blackberry/etc.) and then reimburse you for the cost and the service.

Byebyebirdie

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> "I keep a pen behind my ear at all times. I never used red pens before, now I always do -- it stands out."

That pen behind his ear is clearly green. LIAR! Also: douche.

LittleV

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> What about white suits? Are white suits okay? White and double-breasted?

of_clem

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Anybody who uses the expression " 'nuff said" and is not Stan Lee needs to be informed that it's clobberin' time.

PikachuMcHeidegger

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> nice play on the Stewart vs. Stuart, Mr. Balk

rod

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> So, smoking cigars is a resume skillset. I wonder if I should put down wagering at the OTB, and a fondness for single-can beer.

BadUncle

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> @Byebyebirdie:

Yeah, I didn't notice he was 24. It might fit, depending.

I still think he's title-inflating, though.

zibby

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> He's a wannabe. Probably working in some boiler room doing a pump and dump scheme with stock for the "next" Google or a Peruvian goldmine.

rufus

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> "He's not afraid to be an individual:

'I keep a pen behind my ear at all times. I never used red pens before, now I always do - it stands out.' "

Oh, the Devil May care! I was wondering who's super-pimped Harley that was parked outside. Bad. To. The. Bone.

MisterLincoln

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Only 10 suits? Pitiful.

bifteck

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> $190,000 is low for a 24-year-old banker? What is he, a second year analyst?

Wasn't Tom Quinn's first year bonus $80,000 (and that was because he was being bought off for not litigating a pirate attack)?

Byebyebirdie

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Can't possibly be a real banker on that nut. He's either a trainee making copies or their information is wrong.

Or...he could just be really, really lousy at his job or cranking out garbage at some no-tier firm.

zibby

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> I wonder it he'll notice when I sneak into his stylish apartment and quickly urinate on his CAO Brazilias?

Truculent

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> "Tools of the Trade". So clever, that Post!

NursePornstein

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Douchetendous

donmiguel

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> I call bullshit on this guy. He bought his own blackberry? WTF?

Sigerson Holmes

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> I hope he likes i-banking, because if he's blowing $3k on a suit on a $190k compensation package, he's going to be doing it until the day he dies.

But then again, I'm sure the dudes he spends 17 hours a day in an office with appreciate his efforts to look nice for them.

FaceMeetsFist

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Wonder how he gets the ink off his nose after he signs his name.

KarenUhOh

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> what a douche.

He probably uses the same interview Q&A for his match.com/Jdate profile.

Thewritersays

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> Andy's more effective than vinegar & water.

ctrl-freak

]]> <![CDATA[I-Banker Does Profession Proud, Is Titanic Douche]]> What a prick. This guy should be tied to a piano and thrown in the Hudson.

"There is a Romanian couple that have been doing my father's suits for years."

I wonder how often he unlocks the closet and lets them out to gulp in a little fresh air and see 10 minutes' worth of sunshine.

Ha Ha Sound

]]>