Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale - Gawker Comments

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

viciouslies — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 16:18:42 EDT

Kim Basinger wasn't in Boxing Helena.

viciouslies

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

belle2933 — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:57:41 EDT

the "creative writing" in those essays offended me more than his message to his daughter -- She's the daughter of 2 parents that hate eachother and are both fucking nuts -- she probably IS a little pig.

And although I can imagine that fucking Alec Baldwin is much like fucking a sweaty sack of flower... I still love me some Jack Donnegy.

belle2933

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

boozehound — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 12:15:38 EDT

I don't know what's hotter: getting suffocated by Baldwin's doughy, yet delightfully hairy, torso or his ego. The magical "three minutes" of either would cause neurological damage--but preferably death.

boozehound

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

coreyander — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 02:29:58 EDT

@another: I think you are being far too generous here. Being facetious does not excuse terrible narrative writing.

Also, while it is true that "rue" is also a verb, there is nothing grammatically inappropriate about "woe the day". I am embarrassed to admit that I borrowed it from a Gilbert and Sullivan libretto, but at least I'm honest.

coreyander

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

auddie111 — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 23:09:45 EDT

I am "Audrey", and just would like to say that the girl this happened to was not even named Audrey, Audrey was used as an alias.

Also, to the posters above, although I did not write these pieces, I am in that writing class and know that they are meant to be sarcastic...and to emphasize the ridiculousness of celebrity obsession and lionization.

auddie111

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

El_Gato — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 14:44:52 EDT

@Island-Girl: so you banged him?

El_Gato

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

lalalina — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 11:50:52 EDT

@another: smells like someone went to yale!

lalalina

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

lalalina — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 11:49:41 EDT

@coreyander: thank you. this is typical self-aggrandizing yale crap. ugh. they are so insufferable.

lalalina

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

Sigerson Holmes — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 11:42:43 EDT

"You're with me, tanktop."

Sigerson Holmes

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

priestess — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 11:42:04 EDT

I'm still reeling from the "sack of flour sweating all over you" from Island Girl.

priestess

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

another — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 10:18:24 EDT

Several of you need to learn how to read.

"Glowing fingerprints" is sarcastic - the whole first piece is about how silly celebrity obsession is. The atmosphere at the party is supposed to be trashy and oversexed. And coreyander, the verb is "rue," not "woe."

another

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

DonPardoCalrissian — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 09:46:41 EDT

Hey, she's an adult. Legal is legal and Baldwin is official. We're all trying to get off with those we can tolerate. Why not Baldwin?

The first story is all ironical and mediocre and the second is just horrid; Is that asposed to be Fitzgerald or Bradshaw? Either way it's successful and it's rank.

Also, it's entirely fiction. How has Dave, a friend of Alec's, from story A become Sam, a friend of 'Aud' (rule: make your writing sound sophisticated by giving characters unusual nicknames of unusual names), of story B? I trust the bitter total outsider tone of A more than the vipery almost-on-the-inside tone of B.

DonPardoCalrissian

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

Itsjustcatnip — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 09:04:57 EDT

Alec Baldwin hitting the college girls is just as sleezy as college boys picking up high school kids. Poor cow. Aud's probably dreaming about her Disney princess wedding dress right now.

Itsjustcatnip

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

bellethellama — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 08:30:12 EDT

@VanTwee: Yeah it does.

The bar that is referred to in this scintillating account is not nearly as "fabulous" as the writer wishes it was--anyplace that boasts smooth jazz as live entertainment doesn't strike me as a place where girls in slippery tops would be singing/screaming. That, I believe, occurs down the street at the bar with the giant swing.

bellethellama

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

brief — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 07:10:00 EDT

@sheistolerable: I could not agree more.

brief

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

Toastgod — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 23:52:55 EDT

@coreyander: And goodness, is this supposed to be poignant:

"The girls' tops are starting to slip as they dance in private circles, the boys in a parody of stealth sidling up behind them and arhythmically grazing against their hips and asses. Everyone's singing or screaming--it's hard to tell who's doing what."

I love that sort of clumsy attempt at establishing an atmosphere of, what exactly? It reads more trashy than sexy, but I don't think that was the intent.

Toastgod

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

Dusty in the Wind — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 23:38:29 EDT

Where'd this arrive from?

I don't buy it. Do I have to buy it? Maybe I buy it.

Dusty in the Wind

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

coreyander — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 22:41:02 EDT

Jesus christ, creative writing majors should not be allowed to subject others to their self-indulgent crap. "Encounters with the famous leave glowing fingerprints on our lives"? -- what is that, the first line of some mass market paperback biography of Farrah Fawcett? I also woe the inevitable day that the second writer shows up in LA with their pile of screenplays and pocket full of big dreams. Barf.

coreyander

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

snarkplug — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 21:20:05 EDT

@backslider: Was your fallback-school experience that embittering?

snarkplug

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

therealgoogle — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 21:03:05 EDT

You mean State and Main was a documentary?

therealgoogle

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

MilaBeamonte — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 20:47:47 EDT

since Aud goes to Yale, she's probably too sex positive to sleep with a guy who can only cum after calling her an ungrateful little pig.

MilaBeamonte

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

VanTwee — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 19:51:26 EDT

The production of 'Lulu' that Aud and Alec canoodled through ends with Lulu getting knifed in the vagina. Oh, sorry, spoiler.

VanTwee

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

htotheomo — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 18:48:39 EDT

I abhor what he said to his kid, in the vacuum of lack of knowing the whole story.

That being said, I think Alec Baldwin is one the hottest men on Earth. He and Babydaddy, from the Scissor Sisters.

htotheomo

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

Island-Girl — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 18:47:25 EDT

This is EXACTLY Alec Baldwin -- down to the phrasing. Though I hate to admit it, Audrey can't be making this up. I went on a date, or two, with this assnine Baldwin. He is charming. And Fat. And Old. And Manipulative. And Deceitful. And a Liar. And a Two-Timer. I capitalize all those adjectives to add emphasis. This man is a pig and misleads young women left and right. Thank God it ended when it did and I was saved from myself. PIG. Wake up, Audrey. Please don't think you're the only one. And be careful - he doesn't wear condomns. And he's not even well-endowed. Trust me - not at all. Three minutes of a sack of flour sweating all over you. Save yourself. Wish I had.

Island-Girl

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

colettejean — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 18:04:15 EDT

If Alec pretended to be Jack Donaghy, I'd fuck him.

colettejean

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

backslider — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 17:56:00 EDT

@GorgeousGeorge: There's no accounting for taste. Maybe Baldwin had a yen for horse-faced over-achievers that night.

backslider

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

sheistolerable — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 17:50:39 EDT

@Pope John Peeps II: I'd sleep with Leonard Cohen and there would be nothing ironic about it. Brutal? If he likes.

sheistolerable

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

the_marquee_de_lafayette — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 17:45:06 EDT

Now, if it was the former (ie, not obese) Alec, the stories would have read thusly:

1) The lecture hall capacity would have been at least 180

and
2) She would have slept with him

the_marquee_de_lafayette

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

Greg Johnson — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 17:44:45 EDT

"Aud" is exactly how I'd describe Alec Baldwin going to a play with a 20 year old and having his arm around her the whole time.

Greg Johnson

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

VenusCloacina — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 17:35:08 EDT

@GorgeousGeorge: This is what gay men call CFY: the Cosmetic Factor of Youth.

VenusCloacina

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

sloppy_seconds — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 17:34:18 EDT

Don't Be Ashamed of Your Age
by Cindy Walker

Don't be ashamed of your age
Don't let the years get you down
That old crowd you knew
They still think of you
As a rounder in your hometown
Don't mind all the gray in your hair
Just think of all the fun you've had putting it there
And as for that old book of life, you never missed a page
Don't be ashamed of your age, brother
Don't be ashamed of your age

Listen, Mr. Smith, Mr. Brown
Don't let the years get you down
Life ain't begun
Until you're forty, son
That's when you finally start to go to town
And don't wish that you were a lad
Why boy, you've lost more gals than they've even had
And mister, you've graduated from that whole sucker stage
Don't be ashamed of your age, brother
Don't be ashamed of your age

Words to live by.

sloppy_seconds

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

GorgeousGeorge — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 17:33:21 EDT

I call bullshit on this story, sadly, as it assumes there are actually girls at Yale cute enough for Baldwin to chase after.

GorgeousGeorge

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

air polloi — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 17:32:32 EDT

I was referring to Alec Baldwin, by the way, not Leonard Cohen.

air polloi

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

air polloi — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 17:31:26 EDT

So even if you're the king of all jackasses, you still get to be king. That's good to know.

air polloi

Alec Baldwin's Trip To Yale

Pope John Peeps II — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 17:24:40 EDT

I can't for the life of me remember where it's from, but Leonard Cohen once said something to the effect of: "Now that I'm famous at 60, I can sleep with all the girls I wanted at 19". Which is both hilariously ironic, and a pretty brutal condemnation of girls. Where was I? Oh right... SLUUUUUUTTTTT!!!

Pope John Peeps II