Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener - Gawker Comments

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

plkbvt — Sun, 06 May 2007 20:37:15 EDT

Emily -- with all respect, I beg to disagree. It's not "TOO MUCH" at all -- it isn't nearly enough. I have (or used to have, anyway) little but admiration for Oprah, who pulled herself up by her own bootstraps as they say (cough, cough!) and became The Most Important Woman in the World. Gotta take off your hat to that (I wish I still wore hats). Still, I think that anyone who publishes a magazine monthly at her own expense and puts a new, "slimmed-downed" picture of herself on every cover has a little ... um ... ego problem. And I think I know what Mr. Vernon Winfrey is getting at when he talks about "dark secrets." The truth is they ain't so dark, and they ain't so secret, either. I, after all -- yes, myself! -- have met Steadman in some rather dark places -- I KNOW from "dark!" pk

plkbvt

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

SayHeyJay — Fri, 04 May 2007 23:54:27 EDT

@Seeräuber Jenny: Why do you assume that he sounds like a stereotypical black person?

Nothing of the sort. I think he sounds like a dumbass.

SayHeyJay

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

Slackferno — Fri, 04 May 2007 19:08:58 EDT

@Seeräuber Jenny: I totally hear Billy Bob Thornton wheezin' 'bout his "Bible lessons" when I read that Father's Day card.

Slackferno

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

Seeräuber Jenny — Fri, 04 May 2007 19:03:58 EDT

@SayHeyJay:

Have you ever heard him speak? Why do you assume that he sounds like a stereotypical black person? If anything, he sounds like an overly formal person, like, say, Delbert Grady-The Shining-crazy formal:

But I "corrected" them sir. And when my wife tried to prevent me from doing my duty, I "corrected" her.

Seeräuber Jenny

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

Some of My Best Friends Are People — Fri, 04 May 2007 18:27:18 EDT

Is the book called To Sleep With Kenneth Eng-er?

Some of My Best Friends Are People

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

ConnPossible — Fri, 04 May 2007 17:55:31 EDT

why did I always think momo was a girl?

ConnPossible

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

SayHeyJay — Fri, 04 May 2007 17:55:23 EDT

Vernon: You want answers?
Gawker: I think we're entitled to them.
Vernon: You want answers?
Gawker: I want the truth!
Vernon: You can't handle de troof! Sonofabitch, we live in a world that haz wallz. And doze walls hafta be guarded by menz wiff guns. Who gonna do dat? You? Higgity-piggity, rat-a-tat-tat, nah-nah-nah...

SayHeyJay

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

CrackEmcee — Fri, 04 May 2007 17:32:24 EDT

Dina McGreevy: "Jim McGreevy is,..a liar and,...delusional."

Oprah: "He says you're delusional."

o-kay.

CrackEmcee

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

fasthugger — Fri, 04 May 2007 16:29:50 EDT

Oprah's biggest secret? She created Kelly Preston from eyedrops, pipe cleaners, and Gayle King's saliva.

fasthugger

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

DieDieDie — Fri, 04 May 2007 16:16:57 EDT

Spare the rod, spoil the child

DieDieDie

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

Slackferno — Fri, 04 May 2007 16:05:31 EDT

@broad: Momo has to get himself downsized first.

Slackferno

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

Trackback — Fri, 04 May 2007 16:03:48 EDT

I am kind of dying to get my petite mitts on the memoir of Vernon Winfrey, father of O, called Things Unspoken, and it probably will kill me. Please don't tell Oprah. Besides, I'm trying to land her for a 7 Minutes in Heaven with Bazima interview.

Trackback

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

TheJerseyDevil — Fri, 04 May 2007 15:58:15 EDT

If only little Oprah had roots and limits and discipline, maybe she'd have grown up to be a billionaire media mogul.

Oh, wait...

TheJerseyDevil

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

sing_michael_sing — Fri, 04 May 2007 15:57:03 EDT

The Black Crusaders are gonna get you, Gawker. Time to start a new life in one of the Dakotas or Canada.

sing_michael_sing

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

SylviaPlathWasFramed — Fri, 04 May 2007 15:49:01 EDT

It's weird to think about Oprah having parents.

SylviaPlathWasFramed

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

broad — Fri, 04 May 2007 15:38:27 EDT

That's it. Momo has a new nickname.

broad

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

fileunder — Fri, 04 May 2007 15:26:34 EDT

@KarenUhOh:
it would have become "LvAern" on her birth certificate, just like "Orpah" became "Oprah"

fileunder

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

HotChocolate — Fri, 04 May 2007 15:25:37 EDT

Gee, I can't imagine why a young girl who was raped repeatedly for four years by a family member would act promiscuous and not listen to her parents. I can't figure that one out for the life of me.

I think the "secret" is that she got pregnant at 14 and the baby died shortly after birth (or it might have been a miscarriage, I am not sure). But it's not really a secret anymore; Oprah admitted to it after a family member sold her story to the National Enquirer.

HotChocolate

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

benmaimon — Fri, 04 May 2007 15:21:40 EDT

Resistance is futile. I personally promise to run that "rod of correction" line into the ground. It's just too good.

benmaimon

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

Seeräuber Jenny — Fri, 04 May 2007 15:18:06 EDT

@teenage witch:

You beat me to it (but not, thankfully, with the "rod of correction").

Eewwwww!!!

Seeräuber Jenny

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

eric — Fri, 04 May 2007 15:16:29 EDT

I wonder what the dark secrets are? Perhaps a fatal love of capitalism and lesbo sex?

eric

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

KarenUhOh — Fri, 04 May 2007 15:03:04 EDT

Why the hell didn't they name her LaVern?

KarenUhOh

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

BadUncle — Fri, 04 May 2007 15:00:05 EDT

As Socrates said, "Know thyself." Vigorously and often, when you don't have a date.

BadUncle

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

PocketWizard — Fri, 04 May 2007 14:56:07 EDT

@Mabissa:

Diana's daughter is a smoking hot piece of ass. Her butt is just jiggly enough.

PocketWizard

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

DonPardoCalrissian — Fri, 04 May 2007 14:52:04 EDT

Parents named Vern and Vernita? Like looking in a mirror, O, like looking in a mirror.

But you have to admit he has a point, there is at least one state too many between Tennessee and Wisconson (Kentucky, I'm looking at you), and probably two (Illinoisian please!) unless you also count Wisconsin and Tennessee, in which case, all of them.

DonPardoCalrissian

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

rockwillnotdie — Fri, 04 May 2007 14:51:55 EDT

"rod of correction"
um....

rockwillnotdie

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

viciouslies — Fri, 04 May 2007 14:50:11 EDT

@laurosaur & @ GorgeousGeorge: Ditto!

I am planning to make myself known to boys this very evening. After I first make myself known to Johnnie Walker.

viciouslies

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

GeorgeBabbitt — Fri, 04 May 2007 14:47:57 EDT

GorgeousGeorge: only after they've finished the "Part of Recovery is Relapse" t-shirt.

GeorgeBabbitt

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

ConnPossible — Fri, 04 May 2007 14:43:27 EDT

Wait. What happened at the kitchen table?

ConnPossible

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

Mabimab — Fri, 04 May 2007 14:33:32 EDT

She still doesn't mind her elders. Did you see how she treated those gals at her legends dinner? Seating Tina Turner with that weirdo Diana Ross?

Mabimab

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

PocketWizard — Fri, 04 May 2007 14:31:09 EDT

Is he reading from the color purple? Doesn't he know Oprah could shoot him dead in Macy's window and walk clean away?

PocketWizard

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

TedSez — Fri, 04 May 2007 14:23:47 EDT

I think what he's actually remembering is the time he saw his daughter in The Color Purple.

Still, publishing this book would be an ideal task for the already-unemployable Judith Regan.

TedSez

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

CokeHobbit — Fri, 04 May 2007 14:21:34 EDT

What dark secrets? Is he wishing he had beat the lesbian out of her?

Also, some genius should purchase Mr. Winfrey's book and this guy's and put a masterpiece together.

CokeHobbit

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

LolCait — Fri, 04 May 2007 14:21:01 EDT

Wait, Oprah has parents? I thought she just appeared on Lake Michigan one day, borne on a giant clam shell.

LolCait

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

teenage witch — Fri, 04 May 2007 14:15:30 EDT

makes alec sounds like dad of the year.

teenage witch

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

ellagood — Fri, 04 May 2007 14:15:20 EDT

i'm sure the "Oy! Pioneer" woman will help him publish it.

'cause she's batshit.

ellagood

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

GorgeousGeorge — Fri, 04 May 2007 14:13:33 EDT

I nominate "She Made Herself Known to Boys" and/or "Rod of Correction (Swung Hard and Often)" as Gawker's next line of t-shirts.

GorgeousGeorge

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

thebombshell — Fri, 04 May 2007 14:10:28 EDT

Can't you just hear Samual Jackson delivering this monologue at the beginning of the movie that Vernon Winfrey sold the rights to for $500 and a new crack pipe.

thebombshell

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

bananaboat — Fri, 04 May 2007 14:09:25 EDT

Alex, I'll take "Never Gonna Be an Oprah Book Club Selection" for $100.

bananaboat

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

kentuckienne — Fri, 04 May 2007 14:07:33 EDT

So if he'd been more of a terrible father she'd be what, a gazillionaire instead of a millionaire? Now there's parenting logic.

kentuckienne

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

HoHoKennedy — Fri, 04 May 2007 14:03:43 EDT

Vernita! Hey, there's a name you don't hear very often. Seriously, you don't.

Dad was Vernon and yes ,King Solomon spoke of flux.

HoHoKennedy

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

boozehound — Fri, 04 May 2007 14:02:45 EDT

I'm partial to the "rod of correction" myself. But in a different way.

boozehound

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

laurosaur — Fri, 04 May 2007 13:57:58 EDT

to "make [oneself] known to boys" is my new fav euphemiz

laurosaur

Oprah's Dad Wishes He'd Beaten Her Oftener

dntsqzthchrmn — Fri, 04 May 2007 13:53:21 EDT

Nice knowing you, Gawker.

dntsqzthchrmn