<![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise! - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise! - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> Cosmo...plagiarising? What is WRONG with the world!?!?!?

LadyChatterley

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> No No. Cologne has alcohol. No one sprays alcohol on their Delta of Venus. OUCH!

(Never tried it myself but a long ago misadventure during a champagne brunch in bed...trust me..)

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> Can't you google everything that ever happened now?

catdogman

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> I call bullshit solely on the grounds that I refuse to believe that anyone who does not reside in 1996 actually owns body glitter.

(okay so maybe I have a bottle of Bath & Body Works Country Apple glitter lotion but it's deep in the abyss of my medicine cabinet between the expired bottle of Ammoxicylin for the ear infection I had in 1999 and my crimping iron, definitely no where it could be easily accessed by a functionally retarded and stank roommate)

lorem ipsum

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> My cousin says she once had a smiliar incident. But with Silly String. They sent her to a specialist.

DonPardoCalrissian

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> @VenusCloacina:

Wow! too bad neither of us work for Cosmo!

SaraM

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> I read one where the girl sprayed that halloween color hair spray there and it was in cosmo.

fitts

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> Hey, I was embarrased when my gyno, who had delivered both my kids, had to pick a bit of TP out of my bush. Glitter spray would have been a step up!

andreavis

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> Now, if the gyno had popped his head up and had a glitter beard, that would have been a worthy twist.

sloppy_seconds

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> Hey, thanks for posting my tip. ;)

dayla

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> @VenusCloacina: Kate White on line one! She's hiring!

raincoaster

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> @VenusCloacina: Great ad copy, but what do you name the product?

Gash Glitter
Disco Snatch
Shiny Vaginy
Pu Pu Puuurfect
Sparkletang


Fishman

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> its allarming to me how accepted it seems for women to spray powder/perfume/eau de toilette on their pocketbook. Ladies, a little warm water in the shower is all you need. People do not say 'tastes like pussy' ironocally!

MilaBeamonte

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> OK- Any woman out there who has just shaved her bunny foo-foo or had a brazilian bikini wax KNOWS that there is no way in HELL you would spray perfume on that area! Alcohol Burn! Talk about a FIRECROTCH!

BarbieBlonde26

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> @raincoaster: "Put some BLING on that THING!" "Make your HEINY SHINY!" "If you can't dazzle 'em with diamonds, GLITTER 'em with GASH!"

The copy almost writes itself. It's a beautiful thing.

VenusCloacina

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> Actually, it's probably the newest way to ramp up the vag wars. After you've done the cooch flash and Britney's done it and Paris has done it and Dina Lohan is seriously thinking about it, where do you go from there?

Bling.

raincoaster

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> I don't get it. I thought you were supposed to put glitter on your hoo-hah. That's what they taught me in college.

newyorkese

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> @SaraM: Freakish mindmeld there. One of us owes the other a Coke!

VenusCloacina

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> I wonder if what this alleged gyno looked like? I think I would have either finally gotten some or reported him to whomever/whatever.

katklaw

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> This story is a wonderful opportunity to see how many expressions we can come up with for the heynannynanny.

depardoo

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> My aunt told me a version of this story 20 years ago, but instead of spraying perfume to "freshen up", the lady in question dabbed at her jj with a tissue from her purse. Instead of a bedazzled puss, the doc found one that apparently dispensed S&H Greenstamps (which had been stuck to other side of the tissue).

He couldn't figure out if he wanted to trade them in for a sewing machine or a canoe.

stolichnora

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> I'm disappointed that Princess Sparkle Pony hasn't commented.

sloppy_seconds

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> It looks like Cosmo's problems go beyond an inability to "fact check" these stories. Apparently, the fine folks at Cosmo can't remember what they printed 2 years ago. A published submission from 2004:

"I had dressed up as Kelly Osborne for Halloween, so I'd bought an aerosol can of pink dye. A couple of days later, I was getting ready for a gynecologist appointment and grabbed a can of feminine deodorant spray. Afterwards, I realized that I'd grabbed the wrong can and given my public hair a dye job. I was running late, so I got dressed and left. When I put my feet up in the stirrups at the doctor's office, he laughed and said "Wow, aren't you stylish!" - Raquel, 32."

http://www.snopes.com/embarrass/feminine/glitter.asp

SaraM

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> Then there's the "green stamps" variation.

The amazing thing about this is that a cursory look at the Snopes.com page about the perils of glittery punani is that Cosmo just printed this exact story IN 2004!

VenusCloacina

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> Or maybe she grabbed that spray on hair color, Just for Men, and the gyno said...
"i guess the curtains don't match the drapes"

kll5

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> My favorite is still the variation where she grabs the oven cleaner by accident.

Clarence Rosario

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> Maybe these stories are all true and showing up to the vag-doc all glittery is really common. You can't ever get rid of that glitter-shit.

Someone give me a good urban legend to explain why I came home at 2 am covered in stripper glitter and smelling like ho-spray.

yellojkt

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> i love freaking gynos out like this.

of course i also tape some streamers to my thighs and have my ladyflower blow a noisemaker.

gives it that little extra "fancy" something.

ellagood

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> No one old enough to visit the gynecologist should be wearing aerosolized fragrances.

Schadenfrau

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> Doctor: Mrs. Goldblatt, that's the cleanest vagina I've ever seen!

Mrs Goldblatt: I have schvartze come in once a week.

Thank you. I'll be here all week. Is this thing on?

rufus

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> my borsht-belt era cousin does a great telling of the proctologist rose joke. really! gets me every time.

and "fancy" ---well, clearly all of us have killed with that one at one time or another.

de wolfe

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> The real unanswered question: What does this woman do at work that makes her vajayjay so skunky? We should have a poll for this...

Mabimab

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> And when we mistakenly drank our Body on Tap Shampoo with Real Beer....oooh, foamy!

GinaRomantica

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> @La Cieca: Excellent! Send that in to metropolitan diary, quick, while its main reading audience is still alive.

The version I heard of this story - it's been years, so I don't remember if it was in a mag or a chain e-mail - the lady got the sparkles because she used a towel to clean up with that she later realized her daughter had used for arts and crafts or some such shit. What's going on in that house?
And if you go the gyno and he says 'fancy' when he's peering in there - ugh. Time for a new doctor.

VoxPopuli

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> @NobodyLikesMe: Substituting the glitter for the shampoo "Gee Your Vagina Smells Terrific"?

Sally Tomato

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> Sparklecrotch! I miss you so.

Cheap Shot

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> Know what smells worse than just about anything in the ladyregion? Glitter body spray.

HeyThatsMyBike

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> In my family, everyone freshens up with a dollop of Cool Whip.

BadUncle

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> @GinaRomantica: So true. And instead of dildos, we had Love's Baby Soft. So easy to buy without any shame at all, and afterwards, your nethers smelled like baby powder.

Fishnets and Cigarettes

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> Hearing this story again has me whistling "Carry Me Back to Old Vaginny."

NedB

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> my girl uses SSY. it takes the P.U. out of, well you get the idea.

dado

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> Except in the late 70s we accidentally used the product known as PSSSSSST: the aerosol powder dry shampoo, and the gyno's comment was: "Dandruffy!"

GinaRomantica

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> I feel really dated. This is a joke we used to tell in high school. In the late 70s.

ha. haha. fucking ha.

Fishnets and Cigarettes

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> Who perfumes their cha-cha before going to the gyno? That is in the same line as hippies slathering patchouli all over themselves to "mask" their non-deoderizedness - ick.

rockwillnotdie

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> @La Cieca: You think WFMU was behind this prank, too?

Clevertrousers

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> So, is Gyno Uh-Oh the sister of KarenUhOh?

Colonel Mustard

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> If someone's vagina is emitting odors that may offend a gynecologist, then I think that person has greater things to worry about than freshening up with a bottle of perfume. I can only imagine the pain of being the unlucky coworker to enter the bathroom after this lady.

Catty Is Cumbersome

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> @IBentMyWookie-v2: Why you always gotta one-up me?

I period Rubies, heffa.

The Real JR

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> FactChecking®: for that "not-so-fresh" feeling.

DeathOrGloryToad

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> @The Real JR:
Platinum, bitch.

And yeah, isn't spraying your crotch with perfume, in lieu of showering, the trashiest thing this side of Dina Lohan?

IBentMyWookie-v2

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> Cannot wait for Details "True Confession" of the guy in love with his proctologist who sticks a dozen roses up his ass, goes in for a visit and while on all fours shouts "you haven't even gotten to the card yet!" It's a true story! Happened to my uncle's proctologist in Haiti.

lovelyday

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> Without missing a beat, the precocious eight-year-old startled everyone within earshot of our Upper East Side maisonette by asking, "Mommy, why is that lady's hoo-ha so sparkly?"

La Cieca

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> Yeah, you know what's REALLY fancy? Bathing.

stew

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> Wait- So gold doesn't secrete out of everybody's vaginas?

Huh. Must be only mine, then.

The Real JR

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> I've heard the same story before, but instead of spray, a mom wipes her va-jay-jay with a washcloth that her teenage daughter had just used to wipe glitter gel off of her face. That story has made the rounds.

EBY

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> When my mom told me this story, it was a little old lady who'd made her vag sparkle and shine.

eefers

]]> <![CDATA['Cosmo' Prints Tall Tale: A Sparkly Gyno Surprise!]]> There's only one way to fact-check a story like that, and Dave the editorial assistant was happy to do it.

TedSez

]]>