<![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @NYMinute

"Milk Spurting Quality" is the next hot indy."

I though "Milk Spurting" was the next hot indy sport, like "Straw Jousting" and "Nude Hopscotch."


Smirk

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Never trust a film that makes scuba masks the endearing accessory of the 21st century. Point blank.

letmetellyou

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> this is like when you're walking down a hallway and hear someone behind you call your name so you turn around but they were actually calling someone else's name that sounds like yours so you have to pretend you had a crick in your neck or something. repeatedly.

slinkimalinki

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Trackback

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @backslider: Awww! EWWW.

Emily Gould

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @emily: i think i've only commented once or twice on gawker but fuckin' a. if the long term gf i broke up with 2 months ago was half as observant and erudite as you i'd be twice the basketcase that i am right now.

maybe i'm just enamored because i had to sit next to said ex for 2 hours while she fawned over "puffy chair".

gazprom

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Trackback

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @emily: You're the reason I go to work every day.

backslider

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @ Mel's Diner:

Oh yes, forgot that one. Also: The Last Unicorn.

BeSarcastic

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> My big complaint is that bachelor #3 was so obviously gay, he even used the nonspecific plural pronoun to refer to his last relationship. That and he didn't look good naked.

RandomHookup

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Sorry, I meant @backslider: So are we cool?

Emily Gould

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Um, so are we cool?

Emily Gould

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> I feel like I called this in an IM convo yesterday.

PeachBeach

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @BeSarcastic: Or that other family fave Taxi Zum Klo

Some of My Best Friends Are People

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Back in my day, you whippersnappers, movies were movies. With a three-act plot structure, interesting characters, a journey (real or psychological), etc. Like, The Neverending Story.

BeSarcastic

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> "check my email and update my blog and all that" is what I say when I'm on my way to look at Thehun.com.

Hot girls date ugly guys all the time, especially in NYC. I say this as an incredibly handsome man. So it confuses and angers me frequently.


backslider

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> "go check my email and update my blog and all that."

You never know, this movie may become a cult classic with bloggers - or maybe not.

Ibrahim
www.BehindtheApprovalMatrix.com


Ibrahim

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> I think we need to describing this stuff as navel-gazing and start calling it anal-gazing, because really, your just watching a bunch of assholes.

JesusKong

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Yet again, the NYT hypes something spectacularly unworthy of hype. Stick this film in the ever-growing WMD file.

TheBigDoggy

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @Mediahohoho: you're so right. but then again, no one really cares about the premise of this cinematic abortion either, so you never know.

the cajun boy

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Is anyone else annoyed by the ridiculous claim that Bujalski's sound guy coined the term mumblecore? While it isn't surprising that the media picks up an alleged phenom stemming from the adolescent minds of privilege, it's hella irritating to see the whole narrative roll out. I recall hearing people talking about mumblecore at least 6 years ago: in the midwest, on the west coast... once again, NY media elite, you are boring me to little indie rock tears.

scraptastic

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> I think the Gawker-consistent term is "indie movie hot." But her name is spelled Gerwig.

Teabiscuit

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> According to the Indie MetaMap,

(Slinky + Palindromic Protagonist + Tits - Teats)(Obligatory Shaky Camera Shit)/denouement in which PP learns she'd best smell the coffee that life does not totally suck but is Eternal So-So=Eight Plays on Sundance Channel July '08.

KarenUhOh

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @the cajun boy: No, really, no one cares but you two.

Mediahohoho

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> After this movie, no one should ever listen to a movie critic EVER. #1, they're old. #2, they're older by the time the review comes out. #3, this is THE FUTURE. We can download shit and make shit and watch shit online. In fact there's a 75 year old Swedish woman with the fastest internet connection in the world. She's cooler than all of us. How ridiculous is that?

#4, Look at the haircuts and smiles of these movie reviewers: They all have Liz Smith Hair and prolly wear mom jeans. They're smiles are all Stepford Wifey, smiling like they know you. (I'm talking to you Linda Stasi, Jack Matthews and Kyle Smith!)

Outsource your movie experience or buy a bootleg. Yeah, it sucks to have a fuzzy picture and people crossing infront of the screen to take a piss and black people interacting with the screen but its worth it. You're having a new experience for 5 bucks instead of 11.50 and some commercials. Plus you are at home.
Although: Anyone who bootlegs this flick should be shot, revived and shot again.


Some of My Best Friends Are People

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> I am keeping my fingers crossed that someone from HTTS writes into Gawker to complain about the poor treatment their work has received at the hands of Gawker and its nasty commenters. This has the potential to be another Pulitzer or Modern Wedding. Only 100% more American Apparel and difficult to make out through the mumbling.

mackintosh-squidbrains

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @NYMinute: "Milk Spurting Quality" is the next hot indy offering.

Ned B

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @GirlCat: Why, thank you. I wish I could remember where I stole it from.

Ned B

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @Pope John Peeps II: Oh, and Robert Olen Butler just emailed me his blurb. He writes, "This book is like watching my wife get raped by Ted Turner on a website."

Jay McInerney is still writing his.

sexbot

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Hanna takes the stairs, falls down, goes BOOM.
Fade out. In two weeks the next hottest indy offering will be well upon us.

Great close to the piece, Emily. Definately was of milk spurting quality.


NYMinute

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Greta is Euro-hostel-in-the-wrong-bed hot, which rates 6.5 sober in the morning.

bananappeal

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @tammyfey: You can see floppy-haired snatch in this movie?
Hmm, maybe I'll give it a try after all.


MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @Pope John Peeps II: Totally. The following blurbs will appear on Foxymorons

"This book will knock the hearing aid off your ear." Marlee Matlin.

"A panorama of nonsense and eroticism." Richard Kapuscinski

"Reading his made me feel like I was being Blackberried alive." Naomi Campbell

"Balanced gracefully between the everyday and the mystical, this collection achieves a transcendence of its own." Lil' Kim

"I couldn't have not not written this better if I didn't write it myself." Courtney Thorne Smith

sexbot

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> I just remembered that I had that haircut in 1997. I used little jeweled bobbypins to make it stand up more. I think I was probably too old to be sporting that look, even then, but I was still looking young for my age in those days.

@Ned B: Your taxonomic kung fu is strong.

GirlCat

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> If THAT is "mega-hot" and a 9.5, I'm glad I'm gay.

zaky

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> How cute. Sounds like the sequel to "Slacker" -- what happens to the kids after they decide to, like, gets jobs and write stuff.

gawkimo

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @Pope John Peeps II: oh god look at us all lovin' on each other. we better go back to slinging hate in each others' direction before some stoned filmmaker sitting right now in a williamsburg cafe decides that the story of two gawker commenters who once were rivals and then turned to lovers would be great material for an ifc feature.

what would be the title?

"cajun boy and peeps take the shaftway"


the cajun boy

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @KimGordonsPanties:

The beards make all the difference.

collegecallgirl

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> I'd almost have to see the writer/director of this type of film first make something well-plotted and intelligently structured, to disprove my overwhelming suspicion that this "Mumblecore" bullshit doesn't really just stem from a complete ineptitude at the craft of storytelling.

Oh, and the lead is SO NOT HOT. I'm sorry.

Chaim Gnadelstein

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> 20-something film students have nothing to say - there should be a test at the bank before you use up your trust fund making this crap.

NinaHagen

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @the cajun boy: As was your awesome club story. I can count on the fingers of one hand all the times something I've read deserved a blogorrhea link. That one was the pinky. I only wish that there was a follow-up. Who was the guy? Where does he work? Does he have a hedge fund?

Pope John Peeps II

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @c_webb: So that's why the intelligent women never went for me. I'm too attractive!

I always suspected as much.

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @c_webb: @Ned B: I believe the shorthand for these 3 ages of mediatized womanhood is Lauren C., Ann C., Suze O.

LaPretentieuse

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> She fell for the Neg! I bet if we watch the finale of Douche School, this guy ends up the champion...

maevemealone

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Hey Em,

You know Dennis Lim doesn't actually make any real, serious qualitative judgement about the film in those two whole pages. Doesn't it make you think that he seriously hated the shit out of it, but perhaps had to make the NYT seem like it was ebracing the avant-garde?

If only we could hack his iphone, I bet we'd see outgoing emails like "OMG the jeans. OMG man-tits!"

Pope John Peeps II

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @c_webb: Or Cheerleader, English Teacher, Prinicipal.

Ned B

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @hfree:

Uh, duh, it would be 1993 if that was their living room, but it's so totally 200x to have a slinky and a futon at work.

Or wait, when was the dot com bubble?

laurosaur

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @sexbot: Hey, I coined the term "Foxymorons." So if they title the book that, I'll be expecting royalties.

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @Mediahohoho: My wife's never mentioned any, but now I'm even more paranoid.

Ned B

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @Pope John Peeps II: you know peeps, you and i have had our run-ins. there was that time that you called me "gawker's pet manhattanite." there was that time i implied that you resided in your mother's damp, dark basement deep in the bowels of the canadian wilderness. getting past all of that, i still possess the ability to recognize hilarity and the "hampton's star room reader pack" crack was freakin' funny.

the cajun boy

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Which one is Hannah?

transomist

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @hfree: It took place in a breathtakingly hip dimension that was a cross between colonial Williamsburg and Williamsburg, Brooklyn, also known as the eye of the countercountercultural movement.

sexbot

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @Ned B:

Would that list also work as "Babe/Fertile, Bunny Boiler/Menopausal, Crochety/Post Menopausal"?

c_webb

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @Ned B: My wife keeps me well informed of them. She's an actress. Much younger than me. I love my life.

Mediahohoho

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @Mediahohoho: Thanks. Now I am going to spend the rest of the day twisting around, trying to see if I have ass wrinkles.

Ned B

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Um, yeah, that girl's kinda fug, too. I mean, kinda really fug.

Mediahohoho

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Is that a pic from the film? It looks like 1993 and they're both fug. Her hair is awful. It was that picture that kept me from reading that NY Times article. A slinky, futon, and a bleached growing-out pixie cut? Please tell me this film was a costume drama.

hfree

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @Ned B: They also have to pretend to be attracted to dudes whose ass wrinkles are older than they are, both on film and in real life.

Mediahohoho

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Aside from all the texting and beards and anal sex, I really don't see how this new mumbling generation is different from any other.

Kim Gordon's Panties

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Great work, Emily. This review obliterated the possibility of my ever seeing this floppy-haired little snatch of secondhand zeitgeist.

tammyfey

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Yeah, I think you and the hipsters were the only ones who had any faith in this film.

And for the record, if you think that Greta Gerwig "is megahot, like a 9.5 at least" then I seriously am at a loss for words here. I mean, if the scale went to 50, then shes a solid 9.5. Shes maybe a little cute, at best.

Shes like, butch lesbian hot.

Atelier

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> When are young directors going to accept that not everything needs to be an elegy to the torture sequence in The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly?

KarenUhOh

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Also I just think that the fetishization of "neurotic hottie" as a lady-type should be banned. Seriously, guys, Annie Hall was great but get over it.

AMEN SISTER!

I am just so sick of just how fucking ancient these "indie" people can be wrt their collective mis-understanding of femiladies and what they are/can be. And yeah, anything that is supposed to me about me usually isn't. I'm over it.

mackintosh-squidbrains

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> The genre that this film belongs to is called--prepare to douse yourself with gasoline--"mumblecore." I can't believe someone paid to have this turd distributed.

gilligan

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @Ned B: And I completely mismatched number in that sentence. D'oh well.

Ned B

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> You know, I hate to disparage somebody else's creative efforts (seriously) and I haven't seen this yet, but I watched one mumblecore movie, Funny Ha Ha, and it took way too much effort to get through it.

And why do the trailers for all of these movies look like people just took videos of their friends and started each scene in media res?

Ha Ha Sound

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> "this repellently ugly dude eventually starts ignoring Hannah.."

So Mystery co-stars in this mess? Think I'll go see The Sorrow and the Pity instead

Truculent

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Eh ... she's like a 7, tops.

Nately

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @c_webb: It depends on age. In the three ages of movie-womanhood (Babe, District Attorney, Driving Miss Daisy), it's only the Babes who are required to date men whose attractiveness is inversely proportional to the woman's brains.

Ned B

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> 1) teats not tits? love it! people DO care about how they speak and write!

2) I admit, I had to look it up myself, but Bourne Ultimatum. Supremacy was the last one.

dotorg greg

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Sounds like Emily saw a little too much similarity between herself and Hannah...

Sigerson

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> stupid andrew bujalski. while everyone was sucking his dick over Mutual Appreciation, i was quietly suffocating under the weight of all the pretension. and jizz.

mynamebackwards

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Friday the 13th was the Zeitgeist film of my generation. That was disappointing, too.

Mediahohoho

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> @sexbot: You should at least put out a hardback edition of Foxymorons.

Boy, you must really love the discount book bin at WalMart. Or maybe they'd shrink-wrap it in a three-pack, with Titty Smalls' new book and The Manny, as the "Hampton's Star Room Reader Pack" for when you get kicked out of the club for punching a girl in the face.

Pope John Peeps II

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> "I wish I had gone to see the Bourne Supremacy."

It was that bad that you wanted to go back to 2004?

mcginstein

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Are there any Time Travelling Ninja Cyborg Robots?

No?

Then fuck off!

Harry_Greek

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Hannah and Her Tits Bore

TedSez

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Everyone knows that in Movieland intelligent women, no matter how physically attractive, only date fug men because a) deep down they don't think they can do any better, what with the smartness, or b) we're secretly so narcissistic that we can't stand not being the better looking person in the relationship. (Stabs self in thigh with pencil)

c_webb

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Heinous Takes The Stairs.

Koreanish

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> In the follow-up "Hannah Takes the Elevator" she learns to live, love, and mumble in uh ... okay, it's the exact same movie, just a different title.

earlytimezone

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Yeah, unless there's a movie out there of gay men snorting the morning after pill off the crystalline surfaces of their iPhones, then there's no movie that speaks to me or my generation.

And when is this blog going to be a book? You should at least put out a hardback edition of Foxymorons.

sexbot

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> Were the people all in one bathtub with a trumpet, or in parallel tubs per Cialis ads?

Ned B

]]> <![CDATA[No, Megahyped Indie 'Hannah Takes The Stairs' Is Not Good]]> I don't mean to preach. Really, I don't. But they told me that Pepsi was the voice of my generation, and all I got for it was six hours in a dentist chair.

KarenUhOh

]]>