Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon" - Gawker Comments

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

DorothyMantooth — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 18:05:47 EDT

@concerned citizen: Wheeeee! I'll be the one walking past you as if I don't even know you.

DorothyMantooth

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Products Will Save Me — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 18:00:16 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: I'm SO on my way.

Products Will Save Me

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

DorothyMantooth — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 17:49:29 EDT

@concerned citizen: Oooh, I'll be Black Spy, you be White Spy. We'll meet at Grand Central and try to haughtily (and sexily, natch) out-ignore each other!

DorothyMantooth

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Products Will Save Me — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 17:30:36 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: And what I have in my head is Spy vs Spy with a scarf and an ipod. It's fantastic.

Products Will Save Me

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Products Will Save Me — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 17:19:31 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: ZOMG there are waaaaaaay too many numbers there.

Products Will Save Me

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

jimbosil — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 17:12:03 EDT

Well, as it is I am currently subjected on a daily basis to the piercing sirens of everyone's ringtone library (it's a perfect opportunity for them to match up their latest booty call to the Thong Song bit) in the subways as is, so why not here the actual inane conversations?

PS-- Us Bridge & Tunnelers in the above-ground trains have had to endure countless hours of simultaneous cell phone chatter since the invention of mobile telephony. It's your turn now, folks.

jimbosil

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

DorothyMantooth — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 17:07:03 EDT

@concerned citizen: Ha! All of a sudden, I feel like we're commenting on this Jezebel post.

DorothyMantooth

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Products Will Save Me — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 16:44:12 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: But at least if you're taking up space, you're a big, comfy puff of self-protection!

Products Will Save Me

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

DorothyMantooth — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 16:33:46 EDT

@grandmoffbastard: Aw! It's sweet that you call her "cute." (Okay, I also think it's sweet that you call her "vicious"!)
Sigh. I'll leave you alone. (And that definitely doesn't mean that I'm gonna start stalking you from the bushes, rather than out in the open. Definitely not.) ;)

@concerned citizen: Oooh, yes! I have an incredibly obnoxious wool wrap thing that I like to get lost in in the fall. That, sunglasses & the iPod? It's like I don't even exist, baby! (Though I do take up a hella lot of room in that wrap...)

DorothyMantooth

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Products Will Save Me — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 16:15:01 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: Also helpful: when weather permits, big scarves.
Re: being mentally three years old, if I could somehow build a portable fort with blankets and pillows, I most certainly would.

Products Will Save Me

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Mediahohoho — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:55:21 EDT

@Drew Kerr Jr.: Fuckers could also pay attention to the fact that they're guiding a two-ton instrument of death through pedestrian-clogged streets, surrounded by a pasel of other idiots who somehow don't realize that the mere act of talking on their dumbassed phones--hands-free or not--gives them the exact skill of someone with a .23 blood alcohol level.

Mediahohoho

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

ellagood — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:33:47 EDT

@Drew Kerr Jr.: WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME!

ellagood

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Moff — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:22:21 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: I'm cheap, but you have to fight your past an incredibly cute but vicious fiancée. Honestly, I'm not worth that kind of risk to life and limb. ;-)

Moff

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

DorothyMantooth — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:11:26 EDT

@grandmoffbastard: You seem like a reasonable guy... What are your hourly rate? *wink*

DorothyMantooth

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

DorothyMantooth — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:09:52 EDT

@concerned citizen: Yes!
I absolutely believe that if you can't see (or hear!) someone, they can't see you. (This is one of the many ways in which I'm mentally 3 years old.)

DorothyMantooth

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Moff — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:57:31 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: "A little more"? Oh, dear Dorothy, as a conscientious person who cares for your well-being and longtime Ann Landers fan I feel compelled to suggest that you seek the advice of a trusted counselor or clergyman NOW, before it can get any worse.

Moff

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Drew Kerr Jr. — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:41:06 EDT

@ELLAGOOD: I know what you mean. The sound of their chatter doesn't really bother me, but somehow I don't feel like I'm getting my money's worth unless the cabbie's bored out of his skull, or at least listening to Christian talk radio.

Drew Kerr Jr.

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Steverino — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:35:24 EDT

It's kind of depressing that tunnels are the last terrain of privacy. I think when this dawns on people they'll start to go nuts and seek out shelter in tunnels just to avoid phonecalls. Or at least this will happen in a Paul Auster novel.

Steverino

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Products Will Save Me — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:52:43 EDT

@DorothyMantooth: It's the closest we have to an invisibility cloak. And yes, when I forget my sunglasses I feel naked all day, not because of the sunlight but because of the searing visibility I have.

Products Will Save Me

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

queenbozaki — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:51:38 EDT

The last bastion of peace and quiet on this island is going to be taken away. God save us all.

queenbozaki

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

ellagood — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:35:31 EDT

i would actually prefer it if they built a shield around taxis that repelled cell phone signals.

i am so fucking sick of being in a cab saying, "what?" every few minutes because i think the cab driver is talking to me. all these dudes do is talk on the phone and usually in a foreign language so you have no idea what's going on.

ellagood

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

DorothyMantooth — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:25:59 EDT

@grandmoffbastard: Heee! Aw, I just fell in love with you a little more after that story!

DorothyMantooth

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

DorothyMantooth — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:22:58 EDT

@concerned citizen: So do I!
Headphones & sunglasses make me feel nigh unto impenetrable on my commute.

DorothyMantooth

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

M. Pompadour — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:14:59 EDT

@Nately: awesome reference. totally.

M. Pompadour

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

gingirl — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:13:38 EDT

@PimpMyCouch: Dewd, sounds like we gave the milk away for free.

gingirl

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

freshnesst — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:01:07 EDT

@nately: And you can call Ghostbusters when you see a dead C.H.U.D. on the platform.

freshnesst

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Trampoline — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:36:19 EDT

@PimpMyCouch: Isn't anyone "emotionally unavailable" anymore? Have The Kids really become so sophisticated as to render this gem of a line obsolete?

And speaking of sophisticated kids, where's our Gossip Girl post??

Trampoline

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Mark 51 — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:34:28 EDT

A few years back the Onion did the guy on the street feature, "Should they allow cellphones on planes?" And one answer was, something to the effect of, "Only if they also allow beating the shit out of fellow passengers."

Mark 51

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Trampoline — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:32:05 EDT

@gingirl: Ah, the days of dating easy girls in college.

Trampoline

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Lysergic Asset — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:26:51 EDT

@CheapCynicism: Actually, your pure-genius brand of cynicism is too high-end for the Robb Report.

Lysergic Asset

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Mediahohoho — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:26:34 EDT

@the cajun boy: Good point, but it could just come down to fight with the wife/disgust with the job/some sort of regular irritant that gets exacerbated by some twat running down her complete wardrobe in a whiny JAP voice. Of course, I understand that if I'm the actual thrower, I don't get to collect on the bet. If I get caught.

Mediahohoho

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

CodePink — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:25:32 EDT

@theobviouschild:
If my friends are any kind of friends at all, they'll learn to use my carrier pigeon service.

CodePink

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Lysergic Asset — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:17:20 EDT

@CodePink: Back in the day, I didn't have an answering machine... until I realized I didn't have any friends, either.

Lysergic Asset

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

artynimue1 — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:17:09 EDT

@VoxPopuli: Sure. "Once I realized it was porno I only read it three more times."

artynimue1

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

InsideOut — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:16:12 EDT

@gonzosmom: You made coffee come out my nose.

InsideOut

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

pinch_vintage — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:15:17 EDT

In other news, Scott Rudin just slashed his assistant's salaries by 365 cab fares.

pinch_vintage

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

the cajun boy — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:13:01 EDT

@Mediahohoho: i'm going with the first REALLY hot day of spring/summer. tempers have a tendency to flare during that time.

the cajun boy

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Senor_Wences — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:11:36 EDT

The plan:
Dress like Mister McFeely from the Neighborhood of Make Believe.

Run up to Important Cell Phone Person with a padded envelope marked "URGENT! HAND DELIVER TO: YOU!"

Inside the padded envelope is human feces and one of those bank-robber-blue-dye-squibs that go "Bzhbff!"

Tip your hat and dash away.

Senor_Wences

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

gonzosmom — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:06:23 EDT

@grandmoffbastard:

That's exactly the kind of thing I would have done.

There is a difference in speech among the non-hearing. Those who went deaf later in life (after learning and hearing language) tend to sound 'natural' while those who were born deaf do have a distinct sound.

Either way, it isn't easy for them.

I really wish I could feel more guilt over using deafness as an excuse not to talk to people...

gonzosmom

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

VoxPopuli — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:04:41 EDT

I already get cell phone service on my platform - if your station isn't that far below ground, it's already pretty common. I even got a call on the 1 train near 79th street - surprised me and pretty much everyone else in my car when it rang.
That doesn't mean I actually use the phone - maybe just to get out a 30-second call to tell someone I'm running late. Not only do I not want to be obnoxious, I don't want the douches who would talk nonstop to figure out that they can.

VoxPopuli

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Nately — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:52:04 EDT

Finally, the C.H.U.D.s can get Chinese food delivered.

Nately

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Mediahohoho — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:51:17 EDT

@the cajun boy: I was going to suggest a pool. I'll give it a week before it happens, one month tops.

Mediahohoho

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

City_Dater — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:47:36 EDT

Anyone waiting underground with the rest of us poors cannot possibly have a phone call that can't wait. Unless it's from a dealer.

City_Dater

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

lemmeout — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:46:28 EDT

crap text message from a dude at the Bedford Ave L

lemmeout

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Moff — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:45:39 EDT

@gonzosmom: In my first job, as a restaurant host, an older lady once walked up to me at the host stand and said, "Could you please call me a taxi?"

And I, having been raised on a steady diet of Bert and Ernie, enthusiastically replied, "Sure! You're a taxi!"

She paused, looked confused, and then repeated, "Could you please call me a taxi? I'm deaf, and I can't use the telephone."

In my defense, she sounded nothing like the only deaf person I was familiar with, Bert and Ernie's coworker Linda.

@CheapCynicism: So great, and so true.

Moff

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

lemmeout — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:44:28 EDT

@gonzosmom: Ha!

lemmeout

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Maura Johnston — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:42:51 EDT

Oh, this is terrible, TERRIBLE news.

Maura Johnston

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

CodePink — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:40:10 EDT

@the_mayoress:
I don't have cable, though. If I could budget it, I would. Although I get some channels. Like Food Network and TBS. It's all Paula Deen and Vin Diesel movies for me.

CodePink

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

lemmeout — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:40:10 EDT

"Hi honey! Just calling to say I'm almost at Union Square! Do you want organic tempeh burgers from Trader Joes or should I get gluten- free waffles? Ok, I'll call you in two more minutes to inform you I'm almost there."

lemmeout

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

thebedazzler — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:33:38 EDT

Clearly, this was a much better investment of the MTA surplus (or is it a deficit?) than security measures.

thebedazzler

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

CheapCynicism — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:32:50 EDT

At some point in the future, while riding on the N train, a terrorist will stand up, open his coat to reveal dynamite strapped to his chest, shout, "Death to America!" and push a button on his cell phone.

Nothing will happen, and after a long and awkward pause, someone will say, "You have to wait until we get near a station."

"Thank - thank you," the terrorist will stammer. Then, another long, awkward pause as the N train starts and stops, starts and stops, its way down to 23rd street.

CheapCynicism

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

gonzosmom — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:31:56 EDT

@concerned citizen:

I also wear headphones (belonging to my lost i-Pod) so people will not talk to me. On airplanes, I pretend I'm deaf.

My favorite 'deaf' moment was when they seated an older and really obnoxious woman next to me. She was a Christian Woman (and a loud one)who believed in the war and Bush as president. As she kept trying to talk to me, I finally used what little sign language I know, and shouted in my best deaf person trying to sound like a hearing person, "I m
deahff." At which point she chose to share with the entire plane that, "This poor lady next to me is deaf." From somewhere in the back of the plane wea all heard, "Well, ain't she the lucky one."
Sadly, this did not keep her quiet, but she did stop talking to me.

gonzosmom

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Clarence Rosario — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:30:19 EDT

Shares of Overheard In New York just skyrocketed in pre-market trading.

Clarence Rosario

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

heatmiser — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:27:23 EDT

@Ha Ha Sound: @zequ: Thanks, just making sure.

heatmiser

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

PimpMyCouch — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:26:22 EDT

@gingirl: You too? That must have been a popular line. I got "Boyfriend is such a broad term to use". Which is essentially the same thing.

PimpMyCouch

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

zequ — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:25:25 EDT

@heatmiser:

they said the platforms, so um... yes?

zequ

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Ha Ha Sound — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:24:14 EDT

@heatmiser: Aren't the subway bathrooms just the far end of the platforms for most people?

Ha Ha Sound

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

antisocialite — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:24:13 EDT

In my opinion, not all cellphone junkies are suffering from delusions of importance; it's more that it's impossible to just sit and quietly be alone with your thoughts when you don't have any.

antisocialite

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

ascot-revival — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:23:53 EDT

@the_mayoress: Oddly, ABC Family remains out in the cold.

ascot-revival

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

MediaMendicant — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:23:05 EDT

I'm seeing a real growth spurt for noise-cancellation headphones in the New York metro area moving forward. Which isn't such a bad thing - don't we all want to look like douchebag DJs???

MediaMendicant

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Cavorter — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:21:12 EDT

If you're that important that you can't be out of reach for even 15 minutes, why can't you afford cabs?

Cavorter

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

weatherstaff — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:20:17 EDT

So now, in July, there will be someone to call and complain to about the inhuman, furnace-like temperature.

weatherstaff

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

the_mayoress — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:17:48 EDT

@CodePink: As long as you own a TV. Nothing worse than a pretentious "oohhh I just read the New Yorker or take a walk and appreciate nature or spend quality time with my family" asshole. As far as I'm concerned, HBO, E! and Comedy Central *are* family.

the_mayoress

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

mcginstein — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:16:27 EDT

@concerned citizen: Same here. It makes me feel better about ignoring people when I'm tricking to them.

mcginstein

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

heatmiser — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:16:23 EDT

Will my cell phone also work in the subway bathrooms?

heatmiser

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

weatherstaff — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:13:44 EDT

One can only hope a Darwinian selection will kick in, whereby yappers crossing the yellow line are distracted from the sound of the oncoming train.

weatherstaff

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

Products Will Save Me — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:13:26 EDT

@magic1: Even when my ipod is out of batteries I put my headphones on to at least create the appearance of a barrier between myself and whatever's around me.

Products Will Save Me

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

the cajun boy — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:12:02 EDT

i'm gonna go ahead and predict that someone is going to get thrown in front of a moving train for yapping incessantly about some nonsense while standing on the platform. bet on it.

the cajun boy

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

magic1 — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:11:36 EDT

I think it's all a plot by Apple to make the iPod (even more of) an essential of modern life, just so you can drown out the cell phone assholes wherever you may be.

magic1

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

CodePink — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:09:32 EDT

You know, I don't own a cell phone. This supplies me with an infinite supply of "hard to get (ahold of)" mystique.

CodePink

Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"

gingirl — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 11:08:39 EDT

'Let's not cheapen it with labels'

That line totally worked on me once. Ah, the days of being an easy girl in college.

gingirl