<![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> if he's so awesome, why is he on match.com?

dog door

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Why do I keep hearing the phrase "With some fava beans and a nice chianti" inside my head?

Bellica

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> [www.geocities.com]

if the link doesn't come through its geocities.com/johnfpage

skierblues

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> [www.geocities.com]

need I say more

skierblues

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> I realize I'm late to this party, but I still wanted to comment.

First of all, Page just *assumed* that the woman was fat, and in follow up interviews I've read, he continues to assume this, even though he has no proof.

For all he knows, she could have a perfect body but just decided that he came off as an egotistical butt-head who places way too much emphasis on looks and material possessions, so she decided to end things up front.

If you are a good-looking woman with a nice body, you want to know that the guy likes you for you and not just because he thinks you're pretty. That is one reason why some women do not post too many photos of themselves (head shots OR body shots) on dating sites.

Secondly, so what if the lady he was corresponding with *was* overweight? That still doesn't justify his rude treatment of her.

Also, I don't understand his reaction - what else did he want her to do?

Even though she wasn't sincerely interested in him, she was supposed to go ahead and send him the full length body shots anyway? Why?

How would that have changed anything?

Whether she was in great shape or not and sent him the full body shots, what would that have accomplished?

Would he have preferred it if she did indeed have a perfect body, sent him the photos as proof, and THEN rejected him??? It seems to me if that had happened, he *still* would've sent her the rude message.

I think most people want a 'real' relationship, someone to grow old with.

Page is in his 40s right now, and if he doesn't change his views, he's going to be living the rest of his life alone (maybe that doesn't bother him, though).

In my opinion, good looks and money are 'icing on the cake,' not the primary things I look for in a guy. I am turned off by braggarts such as Page.

Page likes to retort that he's 'not arrogant just accomplished,' but to put it accurately, he's arrogant *about* his accomplishments (no matter how trivial and goofy some of them are).

The fact that he thinks he can get a woman automatically just because he has money and a car shows how ignorant and shallow he is.

You can have a lot of money, live in a nice home, and drive a nice car, but if you're lacking decency, humility, intelligence, compassion, and class, you still amount to nothing. You're still a big 'zero.'

PineappleYummy

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> i would really like to see where this guy shows up on the jezebel best dressed list. is he referring to something other than jezebel.com?

workandgirl

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> @Mayoress: I am dying picturing him furiously trying to get approved as a commenter to defend himself. The more we type, the higher up this will appear in his google results! Mwah ha ha!!
You do know he has a New York Doppeldouche: [click at your own risk]

Yes! Another crapbag vying for their rites to reach the pinnacle of douche-dom. Unstoppable Actor ™. Oscar Bound ®. Douche of the first order? Undoubtedly!

Holy mung balls. His singing is so incredibly horrible. Like fermented cat piss in my ear.

elmaestro

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> I read the story when it broke but waited until now to comment. So much weird stuff, especially the Merch section of his site.

Some notable excerpts:
"Police take these things seriously when you are a public figure - especially now with the Virginia Tech tragedy, Columbine, etc."
What in the **** is he on about? I love how he throws in Hitler, Osama and Columbine to spice up his sentences like so many farty squirts from a mustard bottle.

"In this world, you are a piece of meat."
Speak for yourself. Why do I get the feeling that you think you are forever trying to "enlighten" everyone else? And WTF was his reference on CNN about Ford vs. BMW? I suppose by making an appearance on CNN, he intended to "set the record straight". He only made it worse.

"I went to a mediocre public high school in Ohio where I weighed 140 lbs."
Umm. Okay. Did you have to beg for your gruel, too?

"I can't love anyone else if I don't love myself first."
What a convenient disclaimer. Do you use that dreamy line on all the girls you meat, I mean meet?

"My future grandkids will be able to read about this on the internet 50 years from now."
You should be so lucky.

And my favorite:
"I have lived in / visited almost every major city in the United States, having seen 38 of the 50 states."
You may want to revise this or remove this statement altogether. It forms the foundation for your "Biggest Douche In The Universe" award. Actually while you're at it, do us all a favor and just pull the plug on the whole page.

elmaestro

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> "I am an avid traveler and have been to St. Thomas & St. John, Aruba and Zurich."

Quite the globetrotter is our John.

sassenach

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Not only does he "lunch with the Secretary of Defense", he also plays squash with the President.....of the Hair Club for Men.

Cockzilla

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Trackback

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Don't die. Never, ever, ever die.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Gee, I don't remember seeing the Hilton Shuttle Van the last time I was at the train station in Zurich. Was John off the bellhop desk that day?

DJBiscuit

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> God's Gift to Mankind needs a Match.com profile?

What a babe magnet.

DrStrangelove

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> @LittleLolly: Yes. And I wasted another afternoon at work reading up on them.

John Fitzgerald Page operated on Donda West.

weedie

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> There are so many juicy bits to pick apart, I could spend hours. Here are the two choice ones of the moment:

Skills: ..., Bowling & Archery (State Championship Match), ...

Ah, yes, the douchebag biathlon. I am an avid spectator.

Dialects: English, ..., Aristocrat, British, ...

Does this need any comment?

Come on, hackers, where are you?!

slobak

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> This thread is still going? Damn, does this mean I have to go recheck the Foxymorons?

LittleLolly

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> PROMOTIONAL MODEL
Fibersure
Oberto Beef Jerky

smitty

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> I saw this guy on "The Early Show" this morning and couldn't believe his arrogance! If he's such a "great catch", why is he using Match.com to begin with?

randomtask77

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> I'm skeptical of John. Here's why: I have an MBA from Wharton (early this decade), and was a student member of the MBA admissions committee. One major goal of the admissions committee is to screen out "egotistical" students. The flag was that his reaction is very uncharacteristic of current Wharton MBA students. I'm unsure if Wharton undergrads go through a similar screening process as they are a different animal. So I looked up "John Page" in the Wharton alumni database...unless he changed his name, there's no John Page listed as either a Wharton BS or MBA grad. Yes, my classmates had interesting achievements, some more notable than others. For example here's my pre-Wharton background: I attended a regional college, then secured a J.D. on a full scholarship and worked for the Justice Dept. and had a private law practice. I was in dance companies in the past, and was a disc jockey during college, but never acted in any movies. I've been married for 12 years (plan to stay that way), and have 5 children under age 8. I don't work out (I'm already married), but am on the high calorie burn "chase the 5 kids" exercise program. So I have time to spend with my family, I'm not in investment banking, management consulting or anything else that may be considered glamorous or high-paying. Although I truly enjoyed the Wharton MBA program, I doubt 1/2 the people I interact with at work even know I attended Wharton. Those that do know were informed by my old boss.

normalguy

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> In the back of my mind, I keep hearing Garrett Morris shouting out "Lord and Lady Douchebag!"

ChewieLouie

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> @SharonTaint: Notice that while he's an 8.9 on Hot or Not, he neglects to mention which it is......just saying. And btw, JFP, I've seen 80 year old men who play chess all day in better shape. Just saying, I sure as hell wouldn't pay $100/hour for you to train me in anything other than Funyun eating.....

Tiggerfreak

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> "I am now an orphan. I have no siblings or grandparents and have been on my own since the age of 17. I went to a mediocre public high school in Ohio where I weighed 140 lbs."

So now the douche bag wants our sympathy. Just because you went to a crappy high school (as do the vast majority of Americans) and your parents are deceased does not give you the right to be such a colossal douche bag!

Tiggerfreak

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Hey Steff (James Spader)I found your cheap suit doppledanger

arirang

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> "Thanks for the 6 shots of your fat pig face face. Swing by the gym so I can PUNCH your REAL face between reps. I will murder you! How dare you bother ME in your search for love. Love is dead! I should know. I put it in a sleeper hold with my big guns. Lights out, Cupid."

comedydude

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> I know this guy. He is a total douche. He truly believes that a woman has to impress him etc... He hit on a friend of mine who was married. She told him not interested. The guy went off on her. She just turned and walked away.
Unfortunately for me the loser lives in the same apartment building as one of my best friends. I try to avoid him as much as I can. He really believes he is all that. As for helping his friends that is a big fat lie. He only helps others if it benefits him.

Atlanta1010

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> This guys really is a douchey douche. He somehow got on an evite list to my friends party and invited 300 PEOPLE!!!! They told him not to come and he came anyway, to make a long story short he ended getting his ass kicked out of there and we are first witness to his attitude. This guys sucks!

townsmm

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> @jennchilla:

please tell me he flexed his biceps and asked you to check them out?

Rev. Paul T. Hipple

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> @mathnet: Wow, I'm so going to "libel" the shit out of him. Prosecute away, this computer is licensed to NBC. I'm sure they'll flip him a nice finger and then put him on "To Catch a Predator".

hookreid

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Trackback

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> I totally met this douche a couple of weeks ago at an Atlanta event I worked. He tried to talk himself up to me the whole time, trying to make it sound like he could get me some fabulous jobs, etc. I just knew something was off about him, ick! Now he has made an ass out of himself where everyone can see. Lets hope he doesnt become the next celeb media explosion.

jennchilla

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> @MisterHippity: It does seem that JFP lacks the staying power of Foxy Brown. And I mean that in every sense.

LittleLolly

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> It appears that the number of comments in this thread, like Madonna, will forever be trapped in the 1980s.

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Just heard about this guy on the radio today. He is selling merchandise now![johnfitzgeraldpage.com]

atlgirl

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> No, I'm afraid the only dating site for Mr Page is MeHarmony.com. Perhaps there he can finally meet that woman who can bench 1200 lbs.

smudge

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page told Princess Diana not to wear her seatbelt.

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page signed off on the order for the attack on Pearl Harbor.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Just remember, we are all sullying 'everything he has worked for'!!! Can he not work his way back up in the 'movie extra business' or the 'modelling for himself' business after such a hard fall on his face? Please someone here in ATL who knows this guy, post and tell us about him. Surely, noone is this much into himself with so little to back it up with.........

SteveAtl

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. I didn't think this could possibly be real...especially with the cloudy/hide-n-seek movie screen captures. The ten minutes I spent laughing out loud after I realized this douche was serious (after reading the comments)will carry me through a long day at the office. Thank you.

plusee

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> I'm going to again state that I don't think he graduated at all because he carefully words his site and comments around graduating both undergrad and grad. He 'took classes' and went to Penn 'for my education'. He is not listed in the Penn Alum directory as he says, 'in order to avoid solicitations'. What a wannabe, a pretender, a liar. Any UPenn alums verify whether he did or did not graduate? Buckhead is full of wannabes, pretenders, upwardly mobile liars, but this one may be the funniest!

SteveAtl

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page's unit is 1mm in diameter.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page encourages predatory lending practices on ill-informed consumers with poor credit and limited resources.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page is solely responsible for all third-world suffering.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page drinks the blood of tiny, helpless baby doves.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page cut the brake line on a school bus full of handicapped orphans which is just now approaching a hairpin s-curve overlooking a huge canyon.

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Oh yea, another thing, who REALLY removes their name from their college alumni 'database' to avoid donation solicitations? I mean, we would all like to I guess, but it sounds like an excuse to cover up the fact that he never really graduated, lol. And if he really did, what does that say about such a high roller man-about-town?

SteveAtl

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> On behalf of all men of Atlanta, I apologize for this self-absorbed underachieving movie 'extra'! A quick check of the Fulton County Tax Assessor site for his building doesn't even show him as an owner; possibly the site is not current, or maybe he just 'rents' his condo. Can't buy, never know when that casting call in Hollywood will come through! Also, I doubt he graduated from Penn, especialy Wharton. Limited Brands doesn't even have an office in ATL that would employee M&A staff, and even my top-25 MBA school got me further in the corporate world than financial analyst. I'm betting he is a store merchandiser, possibly a regional P&L analyst, if anything there. This guy is far to self-absorbed to find a wife. Do Mensa members really make better dates/spouses? Nothing on the site reveals anything about the guy's character or values. Single Atlanta women, be on the lookout for impressive sounding guys in leased droptops in Buckhead!

SteveAtl

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page convinced Joe and Rose Kennedy to give their daughter Rosemary a lobotomy, since she was hopelessly out of shape.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Joan Kennedy became a raging alcoholic the day she realized she'd never be good enough for John Fitzgerald Page.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page was blocking Ted Kennedy's artery, hence last week's surgery on the senator.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page wants to know if you've seen the remote.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> In other aviation news, John Fitzgerald Page convinced John Denver that a glider was just what he needed.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page shot down the plane carring John Fitzgerald Kennedy, Jr.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page prefers light starch. Will his shirts be ready today at 5? Great, thanks.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> @MisterHippity:

WHOA, DUDE. That's like cosmic and shit! Let me light JFP's lava lamp so we can ponder the total cosmicness of it all!

chuchobaby

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> So I went through his website -- once I got past the "poor me" page -- and I feel a leeeetle bit sorry for him.

NOT.

This guy sounds like an emotional abuser -- and needs to be taken out.

Douche.

chuchobaby

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> "has an MBA from the top school in the country..."

john got his MBA from Ohio State. i know this because he was in my class. is Ohio State now the top school in the country??? damn, i need to ask for a raise!!!

anonsinger2

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> This douchebag used to be a nieghbor of mine. I could write a book about him. He is a complete fake. Barely anything about him is real. I have to find the crap he has sent me over the years. Has no money. Used to try and sell me free prizes he won at radio contests. Drove a 18 year old beat up BMW convertible and thought it was actually nicer then a new nissan. Claimed to work for the Limited yet he was always at the pool and when me another nieghbor called there headquarters they had never heard of him. They guy was a complete racist and would say things that would shock you. He had a book with print outs of match girls with comments on everyone. He was (like 4 years ago) like 36 but would tell girls he was 29. I can go on and on. This is so funny. I can't wait to show this to my friends that know him since we used to laugh our asses off about him.

Atlanta99

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> @MisterHippity: WHOAH! I just realized somthing that blew my mind.

My first post on this thread was comment No. 1961: the year I was born.

[cue Twilight Zone music]

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Ok, I've coined a phrase to describe these things too.

"John Sequiturs."

Huh? Huh? Whaddaya think?

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> I can't believe she turned down a guy who'd been in 14 films as an uncredited extra - and presumably manages the stapler in the mergers & acquisitions department.

Brian

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> @theobviouschild: I beg to differ.

GeorgeBabbitt

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page has a picture of himself and a picture of Steven Seagal hanging side by side in his bedroom. He squints and looks back and forth between them as fast as he can, until he's certain he can't tell the difference. And all the while he mutters, "I could take him."

GeorgeBabbitt

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> If John Fitzgerald Page had been around then, there'd be a picture on his website of a crowd of 10,000 people captioned, "Charlton Heston and me on the set of the Ten Commandments."

GeorgeBabbitt

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> IMHO, I think the Foxymorons thread is waaay more interesting.

This guy doesn't inspire me to much.

Lysergic Asset

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> "BUCKHEAD nightlife??" Ladies and gents, JFP has sent us a sempaphore to explain this whole crazy mess: his idea of nightlife involves HEAD from someone named BUCK.

Social Crimer

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> His 1200 lbs. achievement is bench/squat/leg press *combined*. Hell, I do that - and I'm a girl. Got bigger biceps too.

Minalill

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page is, now, opposed to Net Neutrality.

GothamTomato

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page led the Cherokee on the Trail of Tears.

Jamie Sommers

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page emails Gawker with his own Gawker stalker sightings.

Jamie Sommers

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page ate my chicken soup for the soul.

Jamie Sommers

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page moved my cheese.

Jamie Sommers

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Every 33 minutes, John Fitzgerald Page farts into a section of PVC pipe to keep the Eternal Flame at JFK's gravesite going.

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page did them cave drawrins in them there France.

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page is the length, width and height of air.

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page is in near mint condition with a slight crease in the upper left-hand corner.

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page bakes sugar cookies in a kiln.

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page is in ur avatar makin mizchif!1!

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page wants to know if you'd like tickets to the gun show.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Scientology is based entirely on belief in a superior life form, namely:
John Fitzgerald Page.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> The President has two phones on his desk: the red phone for declaring war and the titanium phone for summoning John Fitzgerald Page.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put John Fitzgerald Page together again.
But then again, all the king's men had not earned featured roles in 14 major motion pictures.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> My parents went to Atlanta, and all I got was this lousy John Fitzgerald Page.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Why does Merriam-Webster have a photo of a douchebag instead of a definition for John Fitzgerald Page?

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page never weeps. He writes open letters.

mikaloyd

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Barry Bonds did not take steroids, he merely accepted John Fitzgerald Page's offer of a free training session.

mikaloyd

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Courtney Love drove Kurt Cobain beyond what he could endure just so she could be with John Fitzgerald Page.

mikaloyd

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page Caused a 25% reduction in american work force productivity between Oct 11 & 12.

xibis

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> @b44prz:

John Fitzgerald Page is B44PRZ's best friend.

B44PRZ doesn't realize that we are the rungs John Fitzgerald Page is climbing on as he makes his way to pie in the sky.

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Pages on a motherf*cking plane!

MadameDecline

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page could make a billion zillion dollars in t-shirt sales if he'd get over it already.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Oh there is a God!! Yay!!!

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> People relax, I just finished reading his the cover story on his web page and it is kind of sad. Yes, this guy is kind of douchebaggy, but he has accomplished a lot. You should all understand that this guy probably always worked for a feeling of gratification that he never really received. Instead of doing crack he being a rich sort of douchebaggy WASP. Since when has that not been the American dream? Anyway that is probably why this guy has to constantly boast about his accomplishments any time he gets a chance. He has one flaw you people are like the bitchy girls who smoke behind school and make fun of all the popular kids. That you secretly hope to be. - Why am I even reading this blog?

b44prz

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page is spelled Double-A (beep beep!) M-C-O.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page has a vacation home in the Kuiper Belt.

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page once challenged Yitzhak Perlman to a foot race.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page may require some assembly.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page is the prequel to himself.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page lives in a van down by the river.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page sucks xenon out of energy-efficient windows.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page lost his virginity to a "Space Harrier" console.

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]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page often lands planes in pumpkin patches.

In Other News...

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> @scroll_lock: Fear not, well get it done.

John Fitzgerald Page spends Friday nights at Lucky Cheng's and uses NewToJezebel as his drag name.

mcginstein

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> holy shit, everyone at work thinks i'm upset because i've been crying! thank you gawker, thank you thank you. you really made my friday.

lalalina

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page is intently listening to the unabridged book-on-tape of The Bridges of Madison County, pulled over on the shoulder of Peachtree Road, openly weeping. In his late-model Beemer.

procrastinator, esq.

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> He has all this to offer, and ... he poses as a Will Ferrell look-a-like in what little spare time he has!

[www.extrasformovies.com]

emily116

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> God forbid he knows about the yearly "letter" sent out during the holidays! Yikes...will he have anything new to say?

whatahoot

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page is me8459 on match.com.

dubiouswonder

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Oh for chrise sake's...I eat guys like him for breakfast. What an absolute fucking asshole! We need to set him up with whatshername with an ego the size of the buckhead bldg.

whatahoot

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> He is absolutely perfect for Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Passey.

dubiouswonder

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page is not perfect, nor does he pretend to be.

YourWildHorses

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Gawker, we can't get to today's pages for JFP, it's cutting off the comments at yesterday at 12:26pm. We can't get to 3000 by midnight if this problem continues!

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Why are there 20 pages of comments, yet it says there are only 953? Did we overflow the system?

John Fitzgerald Page is a 40 year old virgin.

YourWildHorses

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> I'm stuck in yesterday. Help me John Fitzgerald Page.

Itsjustcatnip

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Nooooooo!!!! What happened to the server!!

Intern Benny--save us!!

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> "John Fitzgerald Page isn't here, Mrs. Torrence."

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> I'm John Fitzgerald Page, bitch!

Itsjustcatnip

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page enjoys getting paper cuts. He gets to suck his own blood.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page is a classy broad.

mcginstein

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page orders Mai Tais at sports bars.

optical_allusion

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page puts sugar in the gas tanks of hybrid cars because he hates the environment.

mcginstein

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> All work and no play makes John Fitzgerald Page a dull boy.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page; he employs semicolons in inappropriate places.

optical_allusion

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Yo Adrian. It's me, John Fitzgerald Page.

Itsjustcatnip

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> And they called it John Fitzgerald Page love.

mcginstein

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page invented bottled water. After he destroyed the world's supply of Clearly Canadian.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page had a lotus birth.

margit

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page attempted to use his Bedazzler on his ween cuz the only morons and raccoons like shiny things.

John Fitzgerald Page lovesraccoons.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page does not like them in a box. He does not like them with a fox.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page will take the ring.

Itsjustcatnip

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page.
42 Wallaby Way.
Sydney.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page advises Tionna on how to get her mind right.

mcginstein

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> If John Fitzgerald Page had his druthers, Maine never would have been allowed to become a state.

optical_allusion

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Once John Fitzgerald Page went black, he never went back.

mcginstein

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page impregnated Heidi Klum with his mind.

mcginstein

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page is like a parfait. He has layers. Filled with fruit.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> "Nobody lays a finger on my John Fitzgerald Page."

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page knits sweaters for stray dogs.

mcginstein

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page once stepped on a crack. It broke his mother's back.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page sings "Duh dut dut duh, duh dut dut duh, T. J. Maxx" whenever his grandma asks if he likes her new sweater.

optical_allusion

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page knows all the secrets of the Free Masons. Because he invented the Free Masons.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page's relationship with Dax Shepard is what drove the Butterscotch Stallion to do it.

mcginstein

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> It rubs the lotion on its skin or else John Fitzgerald Page gives it the hose again.

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page knows what you did last summer.

mcginstein

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> You'd better not lay a finger on John Fitzgerald Page's Butterfinger.

mcginstein

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> I'm sorry. The answer is, "What is John Fitzgerald Page?".

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> There are no videos of John Fitzgerald Page hitting tennis balls at 200 miles per hour because John Fitzgerald Page hits tennis balls at THE SPEED OF LIGHT.

Creepmouse

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page snaps his gum. He cannot do this while walking.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page. Helping white men get laid since 1973.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> Nothin' says lovin' like John Fitzgerald Page in your oven.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page does not know how to operate a belt sander. But he can flex for you instead.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page desperately wants to bed Howard K. Stern.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page is the Keymaster. Are you the Gatekeeper?

Itsjustcatnip

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page routinely out-bakes Martha Stewart. His needlework is also superior.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page stole OJ's stuff.

Jamie Sommers

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> @scroll_lock: Of course he does. John Fitzgerald Page rejects anonymous fatties, too.

optical_allusion

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page invented Blue Steel.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page would like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony. He's like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company.

Jamie Sommers

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page has been to Uranus.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> What is the NYC equivalent of Buckhead/financial analyst/Bath & Body Works? Is this a Murray Hill/IB Associate/Consumer Products?

Do they call the bartender "chief" down there as well?

I'm not sure how Mensa members fare but I know Rhodes Scholars are awesome at binding pitchbooks and carrying laptops.

tacks

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page drowned Natalie Wood.

Jamie Sommers

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> @thegreatladies: John Fitzgerald Page hammers out the love between the brothers and the sisters all over this land!

optical_allusion

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page, and not Al Gore, was the inspiration for Love Story. (His actual words: "31 story condo in Buckhead, 8.9 on Hot or Not, Ivy League, Mensa member, having lunch with the secretary of defense, Beemer convertible driving means never having to say you're sorry. Oh, and Jezebel's Best Dressed. Did I mention that?").

He also took the initiative in inventing the internet.

Creepmouse

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page wins all of this week's Commies from LolCait.

mcginstein

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page's heart will go on.

Jamie Sommers

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page cured smallpox in his sleep.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page does not go to the mountain, the mountain goes to John Fitzgerald Page.

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page enjoys telling children that Santa isn't real.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page killed the Easter Bunny.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page did it all with just one ball.

Jamie Sommers

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page lived by the sea and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called honnah lee.

thegreatladies

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> @Itsjustcatnip: John Fitzgerald Page has Pee-Wee's bike chained to a bike rack somewhere in Buckhead.

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page had Clarence Rosario locked in a dank basement in Atlanta for the past 24 hours.

Nard

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> John Fitzgerald Page made the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs.

Itsjustcatnip

]]> <![CDATA[Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World]]> @