The Truth About Vegansexuals - Gawker Comments

The Truth About Vegansexuals

SylviaPlathWasFramed — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 21:11:03 EDT

Late to the party and a former Ann Arbor resident. Just like to add in reply to this guy:

"So I'm guessing I'm the only polyamourous queer vegansexual in Southeastern Michigan?"

Oh for chrissake, Matthew W.! Remember that time I caught you masturbating to Alyssa Milano pics and binging on Oreos? EAT A STEAK before I tell all your freakshow friends in the co-op exactly what your weak little weiner looked like coated in Oreo crumbs and shame.

SylviaPlathWasFramed

The Truth About Vegansexuals

felion — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 16:06:55 EDT

@lalalina
Catherine the Great had the same problem balancing on that high horse, and she wasn't trying to be a vegan at the same time.

felion

The Truth About Vegansexuals

felion — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 16:05:16 EDT

If the PETA VegaNazis are coming after us, we should pray the zombies get to us first.

Methinks the only polyamorous queer in vegansexual in Southeastern Michigan needs to get out more -- get ready for it, Cleveland!

felion

The Truth About Vegansexuals

lalalina — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 11:35:21 EDT

i'm polyamorous too! actually, i'm just a slut with committment issues. i'd fuck a vegan if it weren't so awkward trying to balance on that high horse.

lalalina

The Truth About Vegansexuals

Say_Cheese — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 11:30:11 EDT

I thought all jizz tasted like chicken.

Say_Cheese

The Truth About Vegansexuals

Moimeme — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 11:08:23 EDT

I would NEVER EVER have sex with a vegan. * shudder * I had a bad enough experience with a vegetarian who drank Diet Coke... People: NEVER overlook things which fundamentally clash with your ideals like that. Something about over-privileged white people searching for a way to make their lives more challenging. Whining = totes not hot.

Moimeme

The Truth About Vegansexuals

jennaddenda — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 10:43:12 EDT

@NormaPlease: Would you consider that the human equivalent of honey? No, no- wait that's probably breast milk... which is also apparently evil.

jennaddenda

The Truth About Vegansexuals

katastic — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 09:41:36 EDT

I iz not intu ur man meet.

katastic

The Truth About Vegansexuals

Mediahohoho — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 09:10:14 EDT

Of course, Hitler was a vegan, too. Rock on my little protein-deficient friends.

Mediahohoho

The Truth About Vegansexuals

buckshot — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 22:43:27 EDT

This is what happens when you take the axiom "you are what you eat" WAY too seriously. If meat-eating effected semen, wouldn't every 14 year old boy's stolen copy of the victoria's secret catalogue smell like porterhouse?

buckshot

The Truth About Vegansexuals

mikaloyd — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 21:41:20 EDT

Bacon or sex? Dom't make me choose!

mikaloyd

The Truth About Vegansexuals

NormaPlease — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 21:34:20 EDT

One of Potts' subjects said, "...I really struggle with bodily fluids, especially sexually."

Well...um...wouldn't the consumption of bodily fluids from a human be the equivalent of eating a meat product?

I'm just sayin'....

NormaPlease

The Truth About Vegansexuals

happymisanthrope — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 21:06:54 EDT

down in freegan rock ::clap clap::
down in freegan rock

sorry. i just go for the easy ones.

happymisanthrope

The Truth About Vegansexuals

BalknChain — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 20:42:09 EDT

Freegans and Vegans sound like a Jim Henson ensemble..Freegan Rock?

BalknChain

The Truth About Vegansexuals

nadarine — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 20:34:45 EDT

@CodePink: gawd, STOP EATING MY LEFTOVERS. I was going to deep-fry that sandwich in some duck fat for dinner.

nadarine

The Truth About Vegansexuals

librarysmut — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 20:31:22 EDT

that dorky term may not have existed a year ago, but strict vegans have exclusively dated other strict vegans for as long as I've personally known vegan kids. So uh, 7 years? It's not that weird to date someone who shares common ideological and political beliefs.

librarysmut

The Truth About Vegansexuals

Jack S — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 20:09:09 EDT

How does getting one's lady friend to take it up the ass every now and then factor into this equation?

Jack S

The Truth About Vegansexuals

silvarga — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 17:36:12 EDT

@POMO: Exactly!

I'll just say the same thing I'd say to my vegetarian friends at a potluck: "If it ain't got no meat in it, then honey, It's just a snack..."

silvarga

The Truth About Vegansexuals

scarletmenace — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 17:27:36 EDT

Hey I'm a leftist and I love meat and I suck cock.

scarletmenace

The Truth About Vegansexuals

silvarga — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 17:23:27 EDT

I don't think these Vegansexuals have anything to worry about outside of a college campus. Vegetarians might approach them but Carnivores certainly won't because Vegans don't even smell SEXY. Every time I see a shirtless Michael Stipe in a Mark Jacobs ad I note that he probably smells like kibble and broccoli farts.

If I had to choose between Stipe's loins and a meaty lunch, I'd take the fuckin' Monte Cristo...and a side of bacon-fries.

silvarga

The Truth About Vegansexuals

PoMo — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 17:18:38 EDT

I wouldn't want to be intimate with someone whose body is literally made up of corn syrup, tofu, and grains. It would be like having sex with a cliff bar-- dry, artificial, and unsatisfying.

PoMo

The Truth About Vegansexuals

CherriSpryte — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 17:16:36 EDT

Wait, this isn't about people who have sex with vegetables? Weird.

CherriSpryte

The Truth About Vegansexuals

Colonel Mustard — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 17:00:48 EDT

The guy from Southwestern Michigan shouldn't be so sad. Buck up, li'l camper! If you can't find a "polyamorous queer vegansexual" in Ann Arbor, where the hell CAN you?

By which I mean: if they aren't there, enjoy your kinky spinsterhood.

Colonel Mustard

The Truth About Vegansexuals

Suzette — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:59:54 EDT

Oh, I have been waiting for months to say something about this product, and the moment has arrived:
Glyde Vegan Condoms. The jokes write themselves. Here's one: "Honey, if you're planning to eat them, you're using them wrong."

Suzette

The Truth About Vegansexuals

gwai lo — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:58:25 EDT

One I took my dog with me to the apartment of this vegan guy I dated. My dog totally took to him (whatever my dog likes everyone), and he goes "Oh see he loves me because he can sense I harm no animals." Later animal control took that dog away for biting some babies who lived in the same condo clusterfuck as me.
Also, you could stick it on a silver platter with all the trimmings and that dude STILL wouldn't have been able to eat pussy to save his soy cheeze eating life.

gwai lo

The Truth About Vegansexuals

City_Dater — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:54:17 EDT

Vegans are so limp and joyless.

Replacing real chocolate, cheese and ice cream with substitutes carved out of soy...ugh.

And then there's Moby.

City_Dater

The Truth About Vegansexuals

Wrath of Farrakhan — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:51:22 EDT

Brittle bones are sexy. That's why I only sleep with anorexics, vegans, and Lindsay Lohan.

Wrath of Farrakhan

The Truth About Vegansexuals

fileunder — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:49:46 EDT

even worse are freevegansexuals.
i assume these folks don't eat out of dumpsters.

fileunder

The Truth About Vegansexuals

TVAddendum — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:49:40 EDT

"When you are vegan or vegetarian, you are very aware that when people eat a meaty diet, they are kind of a graveyard for animals," vegan Nichola Kriek said in The Press, a Christchurch, N.Z., daily.

Something tells me there's a graveyard in her pants all the while.

TVAddendum

The Truth About Vegansexuals

Vitamin B12 — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:49:08 EDT

"Vegansexual" is just another word for "needs to get laid more."

Vitamin B12

The Truth About Vegansexuals

Itsjustcatnip — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:47:46 EDT

@Carol Gardens: My sister is a near vegan as is her boyfriend. Their dog however is fed regular old massacre kibble.

Itsjustcatnip

The Truth About Vegansexuals

tammyfey — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:46:10 EDT

This Ms. Potts sounds like the spawn of seitan!

tammyfey

The Truth About Vegansexuals

Sarcastro — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:46:09 EDT

I can haz furburger?

Sarcastro

The Truth About Vegansexuals

magic1 — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:45:29 EDT

I used to be a vegetarian, I even volunteered for a vegetarian publication for a while. One of the things that turned me back into an almost-omnivore was an article in that publication on making your pets vegan. The author boasted that the only meat her cat had ever eaten was a mouse that he had hunted down and killed! To me its ridiculously cruel to make your cat - a fucking PREDATOR - live by *your* ill-thought-out morality.

magic1

The Truth About Vegansexuals

iplaudius — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:45:03 EDT

I read something about genetically engineered meat and how some vegans would be OK eating tissue grown in a lab from their own muscle cells. They didn’t say anything about eating a dick.

iplaudius

The Truth About Vegansexuals

ellagood — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:43:03 EDT

if you're a vegan, you don't have the strength to give multiple orgasms anyway.
nothing like a guy giving himself a b12 shot before he gets in between your legs.

ellagood

The Truth About Vegansexuals

mathnet — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:40:42 EDT

After further consideration, I have to say that their argument does amount to a hill of beans.

Har!

mathnet

The Truth About Vegansexuals

trickadick — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:38:50 EDT

Sex without a fetish is like, well, dates without bacon.

trickadick

The Truth About Vegansexuals

fasthugger — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:38:44 EDT

@oovy: Damn you, RSS feed! You curbed my chance for a Delta Burke potshot!

fasthugger

The Truth About Vegansexuals

CodePink — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:38:23 EDT

@whoneedslight:
I iz no lyking thos guys so much.

CodePink

The Truth About Vegansexuals

PimpMyCouch — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:36:51 EDT

Oh, for the love of prime rib...

PimpMyCouch

The Truth About Vegansexuals

whoneedslight — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:34:42 EDT

@CodePink:

Much relief. I thought you were implying you like men who make your pee stink.

whoneedslight

The Truth About Vegansexuals

RocketSurgeon — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:33:22 EDT

I'd answer their personal bar conversion mission with a pork martini - shaken, not stirred - sent over to them with a wink and a smile.

RocketSurgeon

The Truth About Vegansexuals

Diglett — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:33:13 EDT

I was going to go with a "Designing Women" joke myself, so consider it implied.

Diglett

The Truth About Vegansexuals

Carol Gardens — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:32:11 EDT

The study identified another problem for vegans: "carnivorous non-human friends", especially those that "refused vegan pet food alternatives". Owners found themselves obliged to make moral compromises and buy pet food containing meat.

IS IT CAN BE BIRD DEAD PLZ?

Carol Gardens

The Truth About Vegansexuals

Sarcastro — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:31:55 EDT

@TheHonJudgeSmails: Tofurkey is inherently funny. And great to have sex with.

Sarcastro

The Truth About Vegansexuals

TedSez — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:31:53 EDT

Come eat my veggie sausage
I'll eat your veggie pie
I'll put my soy cheese in you
You'll scream a veggie cry

We'll have a baby carrot
And give him veggie juice
And age until we turn to mulch
And feed our veggie roots

TedSez

The Truth About Vegansexuals

blogissuchanuglyword — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:31:39 EDT

i hate vegans. last guy i dated was a vegan and his only argument was "well you eat meat so you would cook and eat your dog then". he did eat ME out though, for the record.

blogissuchanuglyword

The Truth About Vegansexuals

CodePink — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:30:48 EDT

How much do I love meat? Baby, I love meat so much, I deglaze the pot roast pan with chicken fat. Honey, I love meat so much, I place turkduckens inside whole roasted wild boar. Sugar, I love meat so much, I just ate a bacon, pancetta, ham and salami sandwich--with pork rinds on the side.

CodePink

The Truth About Vegansexuals

mathnet — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:28:11 EDT

Vegansexuals Do It With Meat Substitutes

mathnet

The Truth About Vegansexuals

SteveSantangelo — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:27:51 EDT

Finally 'a firestorm to purify' makes a lot of sense.

SteveSantangelo

The Truth About Vegansexuals

Lysergic Asset — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:26:14 EDT

I've heard that small birds will actually alight on your shoulder if you are pure enough of a vegan. I have always wanted to try this.

Lysergic Asset

The Truth About Vegansexuals

brian griffin — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:26:08 EDT

"That hot guy or gal you're eyeing at the bar just may be on their own personal mission to turn the world vegan one person at a time . . . by any means necessary."

That's funny, because my personal mission is to turn vegans (and vegetarians) back into normal people, one at a time, mostly by putting chicken in their Jamba Juice.

brian griffin

The Truth About Vegansexuals

TheHonJudgeSmails — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:26:04 EDT

@Sarcastro: You cost me my job at the Don't-Laugh Factory.

TheHonJudgeSmails

The Truth About Vegansexuals

Sarcastro — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:24:33 EDT

What a coincidence to read this post when I'm sculpting a fire hydrant-sized butt plug from leftover tofurkey.

Sarcastro

The Truth About Vegansexuals

GoodGod — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:23:58 EDT

Last week they were just called bigots.

GoodGod

The Truth About Vegansexuals

What it is — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:22:36 EDT

whatever dude... I like 'em tall, dark and made of carcasses! vegans are so fun to piss off.

What it is

The Truth About Vegansexuals

The Real JR — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:22:27 EDT

@LolCait: Chile... that's how I get MY protein. *suck teeth, roll the neck*

The Real JR

The Truth About Vegansexuals

collegecallgirl — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:21:51 EDT

I really struggle with bodily fluids, too. No matter what I do, they're always coming at me. Sometimes the battles are epic, and it's hard to tell who is victorious. Either way, they always leave their makr.

collegecallgirl

The Truth About Vegansexuals

The Real JR — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:21:50 EDT

So that oral sex question... does the concept of "hiding the sausage" also apply to the whole philosophical question?

And for vegetarians who just don't eat red meat... does that mean that all the men are all about the cunniligus? I mean, seriously. Cause I'll totally start hoeing around the juice bar for some guarantee ish like that.

The Real JR

The Truth About Vegansexuals

NYCF — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:21:26 EDT

This is Darwin in action. . . yeah! Watch the beantards self-select themselves out of the gene pool, rock ON.

NYCF

The Truth About Vegansexuals

CodePink — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:21:13 EDT

Well, I like my men how I like my asparagus--wrapped in prosciutto and served on a tray at a party I have no business attending.

CodePink

The Truth About Vegansexuals

depardoo — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:20:54 EDT

@KarenUhOh:

Not to mention the fact that he's probably farting like a mental patient.

depardoo

The Truth About Vegansexuals

LolCait — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:20:27 EDT

Just gimme that hot tempe injection.

LolCait

The Truth About Vegansexuals

LolCait — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:19:07 EDT

@The Real JR: Invisible (man)meat!!1!

LolCait

The Truth About Vegansexuals

TheHonJudgeSmails — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:18:24 EDT

Soylent jism is PEOPLE!!!

TheHonJudgeSmails

The Truth About Vegansexuals

JesusHChrist — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:18:21 EDT

If this lady's the best example of vegan-on-vegan procreation, they need a new marketing tool. She sure is special!

JesusHChrist

The Truth About Vegansexuals

The Real JR — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:17:52 EDT

lolVegansexuals

The Real JR

The Truth About Vegansexuals

Chief Wahoo — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:17:51 EDT

Yeaaaah, I don't have much use in bed for someone who won't eat meat.

Chief Wahoo

The Truth About Vegansexuals

KarenUhOh — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:17:08 EDT

I got major moral issues with sitting across a desk for two hours from some nitwit who had a Quarter Pounder With Cheese for lunch and didn't gargle or floss.

KarenUhOh

The Truth About Vegansexuals

gonzosmom — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:16:37 EDT

Perhaps someone will drop a roofie in their tofu.

gonzosmom

The Truth About Vegansexuals

LolCait — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:16:25 EDT

@tonashideska: Zoinks. Scooped!

LolCait

The Truth About Vegansexuals

LolCait — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:16:11 EDT

I'm glad that Annie Potts has found work after that Dangerous Minds show was canceled.

Also, if what you're eatin' is bleedin', we ain't breedin'.

LolCait

The Truth About Vegansexuals

Sarcastro — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:16:05 EDT

Cruelty-free sex?

Not for this guy.

Sarcastro

The Truth About Vegansexuals

Itsjustcatnip — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:15:53 EDT

Is this just viral marketing for Mrs Seinfeld?

Itsjustcatnip

The Truth About Vegansexuals

TheHonJudgeSmails — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:15:41 EDT

Yeah, I remember this... only back in the day, they called it "racial/religious intolerance"...

Don't misceginate with the Eye-Talians, Esther!

TheHonJudgeSmails

The Truth About Vegansexuals

tonashideska — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:14:40 EDT

I was wondering what happened to Annie Potts after Ghostbusters.

tonashideska