<![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> I am far too late to this party, but this is top-notch. LOLCait, any way you could also do this for Canadian Thanksgiving? Second Monday in October. Same theme, but just add in Bryan Adams, Will Arnett and Rush. Kthnxbai!

PimpMyCouch

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @KarenUhOh: Hey, Karen, love the Bleak House joke. Just so you know that someone out there got it.

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> This was fantastic! And it's written in an unusual verb tense, I think. Maybe it's the subjunctive, not sure, I didn't go to "J-School" and I'm Buddhist so I write everything in the present tense. (Kidding) But it kept me on my toes.

And Nick Denton as Mary Poppins? That shit is brill, my friend.

CodePink

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Ted: You are the hidden treasure of the Gawkomments.

Oh, Richard? Thanks. I always wanted to be a character in a Dickens story. Even Bleak House.

KarenUhOh

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> OMG... I have always thought LolCait was a girl.

Nutgraf

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> I am thankful, nay, grateful for Lolcait and the inclusion of Douglas the Asian Landlord in this Gawker Thanksgiving which, at the moment, seems tame in comparison to My Family Thanksgiving Fiasco yesterday.

Political Party Girl

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Laurel Touby never showed up yesterday. Was this because I'm not an AvantGuild member?

koala325

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Please make Lolcait an editor already

minx

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> I just realized that I have made one concession to the Turkey day traditions: the cranberry juice I've been using to mix my vodka. Not precisely cranberry sauce, but still.

Chatteringclass

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Hello all. I, for one, was not part of the lunacy known as Black Friday shopping at stores, maybe a little online. I did not get to bed til around 1:30 this morning, got up around 8:30 which is late for me. Still have to put china away yet a long with other minor Thanksgiving aftermath cleaning-no biggie. Time to start Christmas decorating, put wreaths out yesterday. Looking forward to your T-giving stories....

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> So is everybody in a turkey coma, or just part of the insane sheep that were up at 6 am waiting for Walmart to open?

Spirit Fingers

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @elijahpollack: Speaking of pie, I'm off to the gym to work off past sins. Keep the thread warm, brethren.

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @SarahHeartburn: Pie could heal the wounds of even the most unfortunate genocide victims (and their descendants.)

ElijahPollack

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> wonderful recounting of the holiday dinner, but let us not forget britney's recital of grace:

Eat It, Lick It, Snort It, Fuck It.

And JFP obliged.

ThreeWiseMen

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @elijahpollack: Especially pie.

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @SarahHeartburn: Ah, that oughtta do it.

ElijahPollack

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @elijahpollack: Serve them leftovers?

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @SarahHeartburn: Don't you hate that?

But wait, you live in a place without Thanksgiving... How do you thank the indigenous people of your country for taking it all in stride?

ElijahPollack

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @elijahpollack: Right. I forgot you were way out west. It's after 9 here. Time to get responsible for me.

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @SarahHeartburn: But it's only 1:08 where I am!

ElijahPollack

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @elijahpollack: Morning, children! I'm up so I guess it's time for you all to get to bed.

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @IndianSlipper: I guess that would actually be LOLPage. Thanks, love you too!

ElijahPollack

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @concerned citizen: Still here, glad you have already bought gifts. I'll be back in NYC next week and plan on getting everyone the free MTA branded condoms. And I'm hoping collegecallgirl will meet up and let me use a few on the cheap.

IndianSlipper

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @elijahpollack: Oh dear God, I'm thankfull I'm not the only one who has no life! LOL as in Love You Lots!

IndianSlipper

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> I am grateful that I FINALLY figured out how to post my home-made LOLCats.

ElijahPollack

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @concerned citizen: I iz a eglish major. Srsly.

ElijahPollack

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @MisterHippity: English majors: can apply to anything, sort of, yet qualified for pretty much nothing.
Hooray for studying what I loved and making very little money.
Happy Thankgiving hangover in the making all y'alls.

Products Will Save Me

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @MisterHippity: I'm hoping for a bit of cornycopulation later, after I've digested a bit. Sorry to make it late to the party everyone. Happy Turkey Day! Hope you are all hammered, full, tired and on the verge of vomiting right now, and that no family drama so serious that it will be brought up next year took place.

ElijahPollack

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> That was some mighty fine candid yammering y'all did today.

Downright digestible.

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @Chatteringclass: J-skool SUX!!

English majerz ROOL!!!

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @TedSez: I'm 26 hours late but that was wonderful!

mcginstein

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @AndSheSaid: oh hai, I sent greetings to you via facebook-Hapy Turkey Day again!

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @AndSheSaid: Totes agree about English departments. One of the reasons I fled overseas and teach just the language (but of course even in basic classes I use poetry and lit and newspapers...cause you can't learn a language without serious thinking...)
well, I'm off to beddy. It's 1am here. Eat big and seriously for me, friends. Will be back on the thread on my morrow. Meanwhile, do check in on fat, carbohydrates, family angst, and of course, heartburn. love youse all.

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @SarahHeartburn: Hey Sarah, yep darn near turkey time-finally. Chat at you later

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @Pope John Peeps II: @Chatteringclass: Lucky for you I'm rushing off. re: " learned how to dig out things like documents and proof... noticibly lacking from the English curriculum."

My students always had to do archival research but that's beside the point. It's a different discipline; a different form of knowledge. One that is situated more in terms of works of the imagination. It is concerned with questions of interpretation. Literature teaches you about writing not just in the usual ways of learning to construct an argument (and English PhDs often have a strong background in composition -- if they had to teach a lot in grad school, i.e., were at a staTe university) but because you read the great writers. History is less about style and more about methodology. They overlap. In fact history/sociology has sort of taken over English departments. Like everywhere else in our culture there is a distrust of things that are not measurable, quantitive. No one specializes in poetry if they want to get a job. You could be given a list of ten disserations and not be able to tell which department they came from.

And there's nothing wrong with a specialist in Melville in my book. You want think to about colonialism and trade and racism look at his polynesian novels. Besides Moby Dick everyone should have read The Confidence Man and Billy Budd. Plus he was a brilliant poet. Wrote some of the best Cival War poetry. It would behoove us to read it today. And "Bartleby the Scrivener" -- what can I say? Kafka meets Office Space. One of the greatest short stories ever written.

But I'll give you this: English departments tend to be the most dysfunctional departments filled with the most barking mad faculty in the university. Oh the stories I could tell you if I were easy. What a bunch of moribunds. ...

I know these are sweeping generalization so try not to get your panties in a bunch. Plenty of exceptions ...

and I'm full of shit ... whatev

class dismissed it's turkey time.

SheWalkedWithAZombie

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Well, fuckaduck, I just wrote a long, heartfelt comment on the Peeps and Chattering journalist vs. Eng. major thing then lost it due to my woozy keyboard. Sorry. At any rate, have fun and mashed potatoes and wine. All of you. BalknChain, love the honey marinade. will try it some day. NEXT..........?

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @Pope John Peeps II: Like most producers/consumers of journalism, I moved on when the lede petered out and the story got boring. (and yes, I did just write in incomprehensible/pretentious journalism slang that I don't really understand in order to make a point)...

But thanks for not rising to the bait of the J-Skool/English major war... considering how much I despise some (admittedly a minority) of the other people in my program and more from another "world renowned" one I'm honestly not sure which side I'd pick in the fight.

Chatteringclass

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @Chatteringclass: Oh Melville was entirely readable. He just spent too much time smelling whales and went a little nuts.

Pope John Peeps II

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @Pope John Peeps II: Given the reading demographics of Gawker, I'm not sure that provoking a J-Skool vs. English major war in the comments is a good idea... It'd make the civil war (and possibly the Wonkette War on Paultards) look like a minor tiff.

That said, I majored in history undergrad to avoid the endless navel gazing that was the English department (a prof. who specialized in Melville? The guy was unreadable at his best! -- if any American author deserved a prof. it was Clemmens) and learned how to dig out things like documents and proof... noticibly lacking from the English curriculum.

As for radio/tv editing: Download Audacity or buy Final Cut Pro. That's the extent of my grad program's "training." Totes worth the 40ish grand and year out of work!!!111!!1

(Also, totally quoting you on the "superior charm" point!)

Chatteringclass

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @concerned citizen: What re you up to? Have/having a wonderful dinner are we? We won't eat for a few hours yet, waiting on my father to finish work. It's good though, I don't have to get up at like 4 in the morning to get dinner done.
@Chatteringclass: Sounds very interesting, It's always intriguing to hear what the other commenters do for a living. Good luck with your endeavors.@Pope John Peeps II: Hi Peeps, Happy Turkey Day!

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @Chatteringclass: Oh J-skoolers. Always stealing the writing and editing jobs of genuine english grads with your slightly lesser writing skills, but superior charm and ability to edit radio and television segments. Grrr.

Pope John Peeps II

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @Chatteringclass: Oh and I was referring to the fact that the DVD set won't be released. Curses.

Products Will Save Me

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @BalknChain: Went to NOLA after Katrina, read this book:[www.amazon.com] then this one: [www.amazon.com] and realized what journalists are supposed to be doing. That combined with the freedom of J-(grad)-school said to me "lets see what we can do."

/earnestness (though I will confess that this [en.wikipedia.org] is one of my favorite plays).

Now I just have to find someone to con into to paying me to go to interesting places and write about them... (echoing probably 2 million J-school grads).

Chatteringclass

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @Chatteringclass: Traditional Thanksgiving spread with the fam, to which I will have contributed nothing except my glorious presence.
@BalknChain: O hai!

Products Will Save Me

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @concerned citizen: Frozen fish sticks here, how 'bout you? And that vid was decidedly less disturbing than the one I ran across over on the LolCats thanks threat (shudder).

Chatteringclass

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @concerned citizen: oh hai! How you doin?

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Sounds very interesting. What interested you in writing about war time/crimes? Also, the turkey is always very good. We get an Amish fresh kill now. Whata huge difference, melts on ones tongue. You realize just how rubbery the store frozen birds are. God bless Stoltzfus! Don't think I won't be drinking later as well :)

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @Chatteringclass: I am decidedly unthankful for this:
[www.the-state.com]
I am, however, thankful for the fact that it's almost dinner time.

Products Will Save Me

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> And also: Thankful for Powerpuff Girls cartoons in English on Bosnian TV... I'd been jonsing for a while.

Chatteringclass

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @BalknChain: Mmmm, a honey/butter massage sounds like a cure-all almost as good as hot whiskey.

Here on a quarter abroad for J-school doing some writings (other than for Gawker comments, though reading said has absorbed a fairly large amount of my time) on war crimes trials and other stuff it's very difficult to be amusing about... No turkeys in sight (though I am planning on getting just as drunk as I would have around my family ;)

Chatteringclass

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @Chatteringclass: Hi there. Good heavens, you're in Bosnia? Wow. I'm here, I had to give the bird its pre-roast honey/butter massage. You're doing..?

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @SarahHeartburn: Good to know -- I've run into a freelancer or two here and both need "day jobs" to pay the rent/bar tab (preferably day jobs that pay in Euros :P).

@BalknChain: For the record: yes. Yes it does.

Hey, is enyone there? Is this thing on? (cue crickets)

Chatteringclass

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @Chatteringclass: I've lived here for ages, teaching English (what else? Yurp has English teachers like New York has cockroaches.)As for drinking, the Spanish (well, some) start with beer at 11 am breakfast, and never really get the buzz off during the day. Me, I hold out till evening. Now if y'all excuse me, there's a glass of Penedés out there with my liver's name on it. Keep the thread warm, children. Somewhere a puppy dies if you stop.

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @SarahHeartburn: Bosnia (also 7:30, but a lot darker I imagine). Here for J-School (Masters) project/internship/possible massive waste of money for another 2 weeks before (regretfully) heading back to the states. You?

And ain't it great to be drinking at here while other Gawkers are still recovering from hangovers 6 hours earlier?

Chatteringclass

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @BalknChain: Right now it's 7:30 PM in Spain. Happy Hour! @Chatteringclass: Another Gawker soul in Yurp. Where would you be?

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @TedSez: Late to the thread (they don't celebrate strange birds in the Balkans -- well they probably do, but in different ways on other days) but I can't stop myself from immitating a Guiness commercial: Brilliant!

Fortunately CNN International and Al Jazeera English have both decided to spare me from the inanity of Macy's -- and I'm pleased but puzzled to discover that Eurosport is showing sumo wrestling!

Chatteringclass

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> The parade in NY was good, I enjoyed the Spamalot performance in the beginning

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @SarahHeartburn: Wow, what time is it there? Nice to see you. I'm amusing myself on the laptop in the kitchen; that's sounds dirty doesn't it? Nice to Gawk in between dinner prep

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @MisterHippity: I'm pretty hard headed, so I think I'm only Cornish.

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @mathnet: Indeed.

Or, to use the adjective form, I'm cornycopious.

I think we all are, come to think of it.

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @JAH: Yes.

htotheomo

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> I am kind of tickled that the parade is 1)being presented by an out gay (Neil Patrick Harris, right?) and sponsored by, among other things, a vaccine that prevents a venereal disease (Gardasiil). Not the parade coverage of my childhood...

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> The marching bands (high schoolers for God's sake!) play live but the professionals (if you can call them that) are lyp-synching?

So are we saying that a fat kid with a tuba is more talented than Ashley Tisdale???

Just Askin...

Happy Thanksgiving!

JAH

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @tracybluth: No, there was no one on the float. They were all on a break.

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @htotheomo: and moving really, really slowly?

tracybluth

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @htotheomo: i'm sorry i missed the p.o. act. were the dancers behind bulletproof glass?

tracybluth

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @htotheomo: Desperation. Does anybody mail anything anymore? I'm watching this on streaming video. I love the baloons, but the commentary is pathetic. And the non stop commercial breaks? (Though it is a hoot to see US commercials. Love the direct to patient advertising. You don't see much of that in Yurp.)

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Why does the postal service need to have a float and entertainment? I know they have a service that competes with Fedex and the like, but still?

htotheomo

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @tracybluth: Related, Steve Irwin's child is now a star. She and her Mom are dancin' like they just don't care (that their husband/dad was eaten).

htotheomo

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> I'm tuned in to the CBS coverage. Did they have to highlight the Virginia Tech marching band and their neverending sorrows? Must everything be touched by tragedy?

tracybluth

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @SarahHeartburn: So far so fun. I am eating cold Chinese leftovers (I totally planned ahead!) watching the awful Macy's parade.

htotheomo

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @MisterHippity: You're a cornycopia!

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Or maybe we should call this "Candied Yamera"?

Smile! You're on Candied Yamera!

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @htotheomo: Yes, it's the Thanksgiving Thread.

I hereby name this thread:

Candid yammering!

(Yes, I know I just used that joke in this thread only yesterday, but I couldn't help using it again.)

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @htotheomo: Well, indulge yourself in other ways. Make prank/obscene phone calls to friends who are with stuffy families. Go to a chinese restaurant (there's always one open somewhere)and eat and drink a lot and laugh maniacally but softly. Sing Hawaiian christmas carols. I'm at your service.

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Insomniac here. Is this the Weekend Thread? Happy T-day to everyone.

Luckily, I am unencumbered this weekend, having done Thanksgiving on Sunday. Unluckily, I am unencumbered this weekend, having done Thanksgiving on Sunday.

htotheomo

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @concerned citizen: >>

Products Will Save Me

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @SarahHea rtburn: Feliz dia de accion de gracias! Joyeux << Thanksgiving!

Products Will Save Me

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @concerned citizen: We've postponed it till the first weekend of december (can't get the whole crowd together till then), and will probably skip the turkey this year and instead do a potluck. Mac&Cheese, meatloaf, etc. I'll probably take myself out for indian food tonight.Oh, and I just had a turkey sandwich for breakfast.

Well, I'm really going to try to get some work done today. But I will stop in on this thread to see if any of the faithful are playing hooky from their families.¡Feliz día de acción de grácias!

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @SarahHeartburn: Oh, just tapering off the evening... met up with old friends, trying to combat the impending hangover, watching American Graffiti with my wine... do you still celebrate the stepchild of poultry overseas?

Products Will Save Me

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @concerned citizen: I meant the black lace silk teddy. What are you doing up?

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @SarahHeartburn: If you're talking about Teddy Kennedy... sorry, darling, he's retired for the evening and his nose was especially bulbous and red. He said to tell everyone "Thanksgiving heigh-ho...!" and then face-planted into the landing between the first and second floors next to the baby grand. His martini remarkably stayed intact.

Products Will Save Me

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @concerned citizen: I was! Don't go! I just got up over here in Early Time Zone! No...oh well...teddy, YOU still like me don't you?

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @IndianSlipper: I personally purchased for Conbon a gift certificate for Paternity Test Palace and arranged for Choire to be there for the results (Choire, naturally, thinking it was a margarita and jalapeno poppers party at the local Friday's).

Is anyone still reading this?... Conbon?... No?...Okay well goodnight, me.

Products Will Save Me

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @TedSez: Special Achievement award.

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @Seeräuber Jenny: And she always said it was "well...a different time." Ha!

Products Will Save Me

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> I have pissed my pants twice. Twice! And -- in homage to those phenomenal urine whisperers, LOLCait & TedSez -- I shall proudly wear my dripping trousers in London today and rub up next to as many people as possible in the Blackfriars tube station.

EnviousJuno

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> I hope they drew names for the Christmas Party Gift Grab Bag! I can't wait to see who got who, and what they purchased for each other!

IndianSlipper

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @TedSez: I flash my breasts to you in homage, sir.

Hez

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @TedSez:

Holy moly. Can Lolcait confer upon you some kind of super-duper Commie All-Star status for that delectable bit of doggerel? Der Commie-sar!

CasadelCarajo

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @TedSez: Ted, that was poetry like this ole cat aint seen in along while. 2 purrs outta 10 for you.

kewgrluv

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> I concur.

Spirit Fingers

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Thanks, everyone. Happy Thanksgiving to you too!

TedSez

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @TedSez: That's a brilliant an beautiful thing you just did.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

lilyb

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @TedSez: bravo, sir.

lululemming

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @M. Pompadour: Like you wouldn't believe.

LolCait

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @TedSez: Good job, sir. That's definitely getting nominated.

ElijahPollack

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> You all need two weeks in a South Korean anti-internet boot camp.

M. Pompadour

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @TedSez:
may i humbly suggest you repost this after the holiday?
it's just not going to get the audience it deserves tonight.
brilliant.

fileunder

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @mathnet: It's ok to yammer, actually — as long as its candid yammering.

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @TedSez: TedSez, that is a beautiful thing. You sir are a Commie and I bow down to you

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @TedSez: Now that's tryptophantastic!

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> [stunned silence]

Flashman

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> 'Twas a Gawker Thanksgiving,
And all through the 'Net
LOLCats were begging for pills from the vet.
The comments were added to postings with care,
In hopes of be-"friend"-ment from other wits there;
The editors nestled all warm by their screens
While visions of bonuses danced in their beans.

And Scarlett in her panties, and I with my junk
Had just settled down for a nice autumn bonk,
When out on the street there arose a to-do --
Wait, it's just someone's car alarm -- Buddy! Screw you!
So I opened my laptop to see what was upon it;
But my screensaver, Jessica Alba, was on it,
Her beautiful breasts and her lovely tan face
(I'm sorry, I seem to be losing my place).
But then on my flickering screen did appear
An ad for a movie! An ad for a beer!

And hundreds of postings, amusingly starkers,
I realized, at last, I was looking at Gawker.
Like bloggers on crack, how the postings they came,
Full of tales about people I'm ashamed I can name:
Now Julia! now, Jakob! now, Burkle and Paris!
On, Kimmel! on, Pollack! um... Emmylou Harris?
From the date-writing ladies to the douches who date 'em!
Dash away, Eric Schaeffer! Buh-bye, Judith Regan!

The writing was funny, the comments were more so,
And I shook as I laughed, till a pain in my torso
Let me know it was time to retire to my meal
Full of turkey and stuffing with shaved apple peel.
With my eyes kind of bleary, and my back quite unstable,
I arose from my desk and went out to the table.
I sat down to a meal full of onion and sage,
And said, "Good holidays to all! Except John Fizgerald Page!"

TedSez

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @concerned citizen:
And the fact that your grandmother has been around the butcher block a few times.

Seeräuber Jenny

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @Cesare_the_Somnambulist: That is one of my favorite moments. It's rather sweet.

SheWalkedWithAZombie

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Admitting fully that I did not read all of that, (it was way too long, and I am way too tired from doing the "Oh shit, I forgot the cranberry sauce" game at the Food Emporium, wherein I just wanted to shoot myself in the head, as the lines were so long, and full of fucking Union Square weirdos, "Hello it's a food holiday, nobody wants to smell you when they're thinking about turkey fest 2007!") Now about that Gawker Thanksgiving bit, I don't know, at this point Thanksgiving seems overdone since we never thank anyone anyway for shit at these gatherings. I think the holiday should be renamed Fuck-It-Takens. This seems to be the m.o. of everyone around me... (She didn't move up in line; fuck it I'm taking it. I see a spot over there but somebody else wants it, fuck it, I'm taking it. I see her eyeballing the last Entenmanns's sweet potato pie, but fuck it, I'm taking it.) See how it works?

Spirit Fingers

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> I just fucking love Douglas so much right now.

Hez

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @SarahHeartburn: I don't have a problem with the lights, it's fitting the tree in..?..still a puzzle. Better write to Martha.

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @BalknChain: Well, good. I'll have some company here tomorrow while all you statessiders are gorging.

the lights: always a stuffing problem. Small, big, multicolor or unicolor, blinking or still....sigh.

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @SarahHeartburn: Do you realize that you have just started Thanksgivingoron?
You should see Jakob and Julia stuff the turkey; it involves a drill press, doilies, 1 tube sock and a string of Christmas lights

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> "James Lipton will utter a dinner bell clarion call from deep within his diaphragm" is wondrous. But if I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, having struggled to eek out muffled nightmare screams, I am coming right back here tomorrow morning to give you hell about it!

Tiny Banquet Committee

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @BalknChain: He's back in the pantry with the chauffeur, doing nasty things with the kitchen blowtorch, so no creme brulée until they're done.

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @SarahHeartburn: Is it wrong to want to share your butler?

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @Seeräuber Jenny: No wonder the tryptophan roofies never seem to work too well.

Products Will Save Me

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @BalknChain: Thank God for the Butler. Thanks, B&C.

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> pictures of a fat old man who breaks into your house and tries to woo your children with toys.

Goddamned Uncle Steve.

Smackdown

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> And Thanks, LolCait. For the first time since Balk went away and left us, I feel safe again. Pass the corkscrew.

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> I read recently that the effect of tryptophan in the holiday turkey has been overstated.

Don't blame dead poultry: Over-eating, dull people, and duller TV sports are what make you nod off after the meal.

Relish some cranberries?

Seeräuber Jenny

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Well, this works. In my family we always started Thanksgiving dinner with a fruit cup.

SarahHeartburn

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Spread your legs and bare your breasts, it's Thanksgiving y'all!

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @BeRightBack:
Don't be alarmed, but it was Douglas who stole the show. Douglas!

GinaRomantica

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> KarenUhOh, even a hypothesized KarenUhOh, steals the show as always.

BeRightBack

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @Pope John Peeps II: :-)

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Never before has referential humour been this... uh. Vast.

Pope John Peeps II

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @MisterHippity: A-hem, pardon my extra helpings. I just wanted to be sure we'd covered dish!

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Did you just call your employer Mary Poppins!?

Goodbye, Commenters!

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @mathnet: Yeah, but he doesn't just yammer on, like some writers do.

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @mathnet: Except for how to stuff the turkey. We'll get Dr. Ruth to help with that.

guitarsnob

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Happy Thanksgiving, fellow Commies!

Trampoline

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @mathnet: or the beat of a different drumstick? Pass the rye.

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @mathnet: Yes, you might say he's a very pumpkin pie writer.

D'oh!

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @MisterHippity: And I enjoy the fact that he marches to beat of his own drumstick.

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> "....disembark a flaming humpback whale nuclear stagecoach..."

I see you kids are finally dropping acid down at the office.
Happy Thanksgiving to all!

PandoraSpocks

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @mathnet: He really doesn't mince words.

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @guitarsnob: Dr. Jay Parkinson will text us instructions.

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Just don't let Dr. Jan Adams carve the turkey.

guitarsnob

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Cait, you're the breast!

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> A mashederpiece!

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @MisterHippity: What gravytas!

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Tryptophan-tastic!

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> the best argument for abolishing the divide between editorial and advertising - ooh, promotion for LolCait?

Happy Thanksgiving y'all!

whokilledallthemandelas

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Eiffel 65's "Blue" blasting loudly

God. So perfect. Cait, you are the Swift of the internets. Or the Swiffer. Either way, I kinda lust after you.

lululemming

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @Furious_George: No, there's nothing wrong with that modifying clause. I mean to decipher this story as if I were a Bazooka Joe comic strip. Carry on.

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @Helman: It's about y'alls.

mathnet

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> No one poops in South America!
It's your little fey creature of a son!
LolCait you warm my cold cold heart.

SheWalkedWithAZombie

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Dark, please.

ClevelandSteamier

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> @TedSez: Can I use that on my myspace?

StMawr

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Like a good Bazooka Joe comic strip, I'm going to spend the next 15 years of my life trying to decipher this story. Well done, sir.

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Would you pass the stuffing/gravy/mashed potatoes?

MordecaiStein1

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> If only there was an explicit gay sex scene, Bret Easton Ellis might pass this off as his own. Wait...is that you, BEE?

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Gabber Thankstastic!

therealgoogle

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Well played.

mcginstein

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Undress us, every one!

TedSez

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Well done, LOLCait. Although I'm not sure if I'm grateful that it all makes sense to me. sigh, at least its time to drink now.

Gereizt

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Hard dick and bubblegum to all, and to all a good night.

brian griffin

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Standing ovation for you, sir. Yip, yip, yip.

karion

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> I've got a great turducken recipe [exhales marijuana smoke in his face].
I'll give it to you in 26 minutes.

StMawr

]]> <![CDATA[A Gawker Thanksgiving]]> Happy Thankstaking!

mathnet

]]>