<![CDATA[ - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[ - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[]]> Please, God, let this be true.

3cardkitty

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @elijahpollack: I'm sorry. The answer I was looking for was "a tasteful and carefully concealed buttplug". [gawker.com]

SheWalkedWithAZombie

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Looks like Perez is a Gawker fan.
[www.youtube.com]

MeganCF

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I guess Perez is the new Shitney! In that picture he looks like he's saying "Oops, I did it again!"

TinSmith

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Beshat fatasses on treadmills are the new black.

scroll_lock

]]> <![CDATA[]]> The only way this news could ever possibly suck is if we find out some day that Schadenfreude causes cancer.

Because I'm totally soaking in it right now. Luscious, emollient Schadenfreude... mmmmmm.

Hez

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @AndSheSaid: Ha. Yes. A bucket would do the trick, but there are more sanitary solutions. Diapers namely.

ElijahPollack

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @elijahpollack: @AndSheSaid: Let me rephrase that; in Jeopardy-style:
What is a special product that Perez is in need of?

SheWalkedWithAZombie

]]> <![CDATA[]]> please, PLEASE, Santa, let there be footage of this for all the children of the world to see...

littletater

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Thank you thank you -- finally, it's over. He may earn more for doing less and not being funny -- but aha -- he shitteth himself -- bet they don't air that though...

donmiguel

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Trackback

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @elijahpollack: What special product is Perez in need of?

SheWalkedWithAZombie

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Wrath of Farrakhan: Oh, thank you!

ElijahPollack

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Bigggnasty: In his case, a dozen or so hot-dogs plummeting uncontrollably out of a hangerbay would be more accurate.

Lou Nunez

]]> <![CDATA[]]> The true definition of "Shiteous."

HeyThatsMyBike

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Everytime I see people eating those "Light" Olean-based products, I imagine this happening. A small smile forms on my lips.

Steverino

]]> <![CDATA[]]> A Perez and Paris Hilton Christmas Carol...

On the first day of Christmas my Hilton gave to me;
Two weeks in Jail,
A hip-hop rhyme that fails,
A pink hair-do
Some dye for puppy too,
Three "That's Hots",
A gorge of tater tots,
Four DUI's,
A lot of TMZ spies,
Videotaped sex,
A bottle of Valtrex,
Two stupid movies,
A gaggle of male groupies,
(I really liked "The Stars are Blind", fuck you.
What's wrong with a little...poo-poo?)
Six drunken elephants,
AND A MAN WHO SHAT HIS PANTS!!

Spirit Fingers

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Ace in the Hole: visit the all new 2fatassqueens1cup.com

BrianVan

]]> <![CDATA[]]> He is a filthy one.

JudithButler

]]> <![CDATA[]]> He's on Celebrity Fit Club? It's hard to believe that someone who makes it their living to draw dicks on photos would be such a fat piece of sh*t.

Greg Johnson

]]> <![CDATA[]]> This is incredible.

Greg Johnson

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Do you think he will put it on YouTube - like all the other shit he puts of himself on there?

PICKLES_IN_MY_TUNA

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Trampoline: I wish I hadn't already wasted my one socially acceptable 2 girls 1 cup reference on that lolcat post last week.

SchmatSchmaymon

]]> <![CDATA[]]> This proves what I've long suspected: Perez Hilton is a fisting bottom.

peterparker69

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Fortunately for Perez, he can regurgitate it ...

Ace in the Hole

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Scooter34: I think you have a typo there - didn't you mean "a major shitting compan"...
oh. wait. i gets it. sry.

olivia2.0

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I know reproduction can be ugly, but it's not THAT ugly.

IHateWhatYouHaveOn

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @MattGaymon: @Scooter34:
...or the next "What Can Brown Do For You" ad.

Trampoline

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Oh man that was real? I thought I was watching an early John Waters movie.

Ed

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @elijahpollack: Exactly. Plus, any comment that can check lolcats and elijahpollack is alright in my book.

Wrath of Farrakhan

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @judithbutler: He also crapped himself in a beer store after pierogies and ice cream. Methinks he's a bit lactose intolerant.

Sarcastro

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Well, what else would you expect to come out of a shitbag?

DaeSu

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Scooter34: Hilarious. I hope that story appears in Everybody Poops: The Director's Cut

SchmatSchmaymon

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Bigggnasty: LOL... love the Margaret Cho shout-out

Intern Kevin

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Wrath of Farrakhan: Ha! I love that pic. The eyes are what do it.

ElijahPollack

]]> <![CDATA[]]> My husband's uncle misjudged his bathroom endurance while driving his overnight route for a major shipping company, who fortunately wear brown pants.

He stopped and rinsed them out in a puddle on the side of the road. Seeing as how he had three hours to his stop, and he lives in a hot, dry clime, he hung them from the antenna and proceeded on his route. Sadly, the pants blew off the antenna.

The state highway patrol was not amused at the vision of a 50-ish man, still fit, wearing wet, stained BVD's and crawling around in the desert in the dark looking for his pants. The family, however, was.

True story, swear to God.

Scooter34

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Then he said Nooooooo they be stealin' my bucket!

Wrath of Farrakhan

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @Sarcastro: Mongolian Worm Rumba... a.k.a the squitters, caused by rancid yak butter that's lurchede beyond mere rancidity into toxicity,

JudithButler

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I don't know what to say. Too many things too say, a blockage if you will. Now if only Perez had had one, we wouldn't be reading this.

dcunstrukt

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I have a friend who, though no Perez Hilton, besoiled his trousers on a bus in the Mongolian hinterlands (preceeding phrase may be redundant). True story.

Sarcastro

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I call bullshit.

Lex_Lewder

]]> <![CDATA[]]> He cloned himself?

BritneysBaldHoohoo

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Fitting.

Colonel Mustard

]]> <![CDATA[]]> He's so full of it I'm sure it leaks out all of the time.

Nicolarz

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I have no problem with this.

Mr. B.

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @MattGaymon: HA!

LolCait

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Tale as old as time.

SchmatSchmaymon

]]> <![CDATA[]]> First!!!!!

To poop myself while working out.

Cheap Shot

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @BrianVan: ?!?!?!?!?!

The Glad Family of Products

]]> <![CDATA[]]> And by "reading" I mean "mining for any information that could be made fun of on Gawker" - however it was too banal even for that.

Mary Mouse

]]> <![CDATA[]]> CRAPTASTIC!!11!!!!!!!!!

FIRST BEEYOTCHES!!LOLZ!!

AndIAmTellingYou

]]> <![CDATA[]]> He had the most insanely poorly-written and utterly pointless essay about his new dog in the Sunday Times (UK) yesterday - I cringed for about ten minutes after reading it.

Mary Mouse

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Well, you know, the treadmill is kinda rough when you set it to 3.4 mph. Fucking fatass.

BrianVan

]]> <![CDATA[]]> PEREZ *IS* THE RECORD!

noyokono

]]> <![CDATA[]]> @rod: nice, I added some too for effect

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Pooped "himself" as in self replicated, mitosis-like?

dado

]]> <![CDATA[]]> god, I hope this is true. Early Xmas!

kathotdog

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I heard it happened to Gummi Bear. They just mistook him for Perez Hilton.

peterparker69

]]> <![CDATA[]]> it's what an asshole does best

el smrtmnky

]]> <![CDATA[]]> It's not gossip until you draw that on his pic for us. Oh yeah..

First BITCHES!!!!

BalknChain

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Shiteous!

hhpeterson13

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Someone needs to drug test that guy for Alli.

ElijahPollack

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Celebrity Shit Club!

IndianSlipper

]]> <![CDATA[]]> At least he might have lost some weight.

BinkysDream

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Who hasn't?

CodePink

]]> <![CDATA[]]> it's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway

Bigggnasty

]]> <![CDATA[]]> All that happened is that his blog fell out of his pants.

LolCait

]]> <![CDATA[]]> I heard that he gave birth on the treadmill and that the child looked and smelled just like him!!!!1!111!!

FIRST!?!??!!
LOL

rod

]]> <![CDATA[]]> Guess that's one photo he won't have to write sh*t all over.

Queen of the Passive Aggressives

]]>