Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth" - Gawker Comments

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

JeanGenetRamsey — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:03:50 EST

Stephan K upsets me on multiple registers, but it's mostly that he sounds fat.

JeanGenetRamsey

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

far-far — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 16:02:29 EST

@flossy: and risk getting second-hand cocaine high from your ego? no way!

far-far

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

flossy — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 15:26:33 EST

@far-far:

Hey you sound really cool! Can we be friends?

flossy

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

Creepmouse — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 15:15:27 EST

Alright, but if the next one's in the second person, or if the next two are the exact same party from points of view of CC Mellows and Short You're-the-Narc Girl, that's where I draw the line.

Creepmouse

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

far-far — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 15:00:17 EST

@flossy: Whatever, once I wrote an article about how awesome I am, and published it in my school newspaper. That means I'm entitled to smear my semen onto my $2,000 limited-edition Stewart Semple skateboard. Right? Right?

far-far

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

guevara284 — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 14:02:14 EST

@foghorn: Nice try Penis Dreads. We all know its you, stop talking up your freakishly long pubes. Douche.

guevara284

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

epashley — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 13:40:59 EST

I keep trying to think of something poignant to say, but I can't. But Bardians are not all the rich, bitchy, hypocritical, European cigarette smoking, black wearing, insecure brats that certain people made (and make) us out to be. As a well-adjusted, happy, thriving, former Bardian myself, I will say that my years spent at Bard were some of the most wonderful years of my life so far, and I had a kick-ass time. And in the end, you will always think your class was the best, but it isn't.

epashley

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

Clare — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 10:22:11 EST

Confidential to Saint Dee:

I went to private school, but I couldn't tell you if that was what private school parties were like because a) I had a 10 pm curfew and b) I didn't have any friends.

Clare

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

Maujer — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 10:04:25 EST

@LolCait: I think I know what you're going for here, but isn't that Bennington?

Maujer

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

veraikon — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 10:03:37 EST

Team CC Mellows!

veraikon

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

vandusen — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 10:02:25 EST

I wrote for cat fancy and therefore don't know how to spell cynicism.

vandusen

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

Maujer — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 10:02:08 EST

@BinkysDream: yes, Binky, but Portland is too far away to be Gawkerized.

Maujer

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

drunkexpatwriter — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 09:40:35 EST

Wow.

Nothing has changed at Bard since I graduated from there in 92.

drunkexpatwriter

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

braak — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 09:09:57 EST

@TimeWarnerRhymeAnaheim: There are lots of pretty, easy girls at Mt. Holyoke, so I think that's a plus.

But also? If you're a guy? Don't be wandering around Mt Holyoke's campus after eight PM looking for your friend's dormitory. Campus security will drop a black bag over your head and drag you off to an interrogation room for THREE HOURS, trying to get you to admit to being a psychotic serial rapist/murderer.

In other news, why is this guy even writing a column? About being bored with how boring everyone he knows is? There's no couches getting set on fire, no one accidentally threw his dog out a window, no riots in which the student council tries to seize control of campus housing from the Housing Committee.

You guys know that actually interesting things happen at other schools, right?

braak

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

flossy — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 08:53:11 EST

@far-far:

No it's cool, it's not a column about Bard anymore, it's a column about writing a column about Bard, and how it entitles you to all the Capri-smoking cunty midget lovin' you can stomach. The meta makes it interesting! Right? Right? Hello?

flossy

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

KarenUhOh — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 08:38:54 EST

I'm very concerned these children were being duped into using grape-inappropriate stemware.

KarenUhOh

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

benny145 — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 08:31:01 EST

Igby does CC...at Bard...because NYC is a wasteland, and...all that's left are girls from Bard who are"from the city" and read Gawker, because what the f*** else would they read?

benny145

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

Saint Andrew — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 08:03:10 EST

OK, you got me to look and therefore got your one extra lousy page view, BUT, after reading this I am decided that this is decidedly unfunny and boring, no matter how many onion skins of irony get peeled away. If I call Emperor's New Clothes on this whole column, do I get chased by gawker pitchforks and torches?

Saint Andrew

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

whokilledallthemandelas — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 07:05:10 EST

manifesting a somewhat accidental Southern accent

CC Mellows is the only one who's not a cunt here.

whokilledallthemandelas

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

LadyLeigh — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 05:27:15 EST

Geeze I am glad I did my undergrad at UNC-CH. The parties were much better....

LadyLeigh

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

TimeWarnerRhymeAnaheim — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 02:20:46 EST

I second the motion: Why are you guys dissing Bard? As they say at the track: "who d'you like?"

It's easier to make fun of the other, much more heinous, moving targets in the world of academia, and so I suppose you are trying to be contrarian. But, if I read you people on here correctly, I expect most of you would have been happier at a school like that than at many others.

That is -- I guess -- if Bard would have ever admitted you?

Well look: I never wanted to go there either (and Didn't).

How about (chew on these) -- the real Douche schools:

1. PRINCETON

2. Dartmouth

3. Williams

4. Mt. Holyoke

5. Wheaton

6. U VA

7. Washington & Lee

8. USC

9. You pick no. 9 -- but it can't be Bard or Wesleyan

10. Uh -- almost forgot -- PRINCETON. YES!!!

What about it, Gawker-peeps? You Know I Have Your Number tonight.

Amore,

TimeWarnerRhymeAnaheim

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

far-far — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 01:10:38 EST

I don't know why all the fuss about Bard. It's a shitty school. The students are Vassar and Oberlin rejects. Maybe even Sarah Lawrence rejects. From my experience, Bard students truly suck at life and nobody cares about them. Fuck them. At any rate, they're not even the ones really polluting our city-- New York has had its share of boring pseudo-literati since the dawn of time.
Gawker should have a "Night Out With" column like the one in the NYT, except instead of B-and-C-list celebrities, there should be a "Night Out With a frat boy from Wisconsin" or "a night out with a Republican". Oh wait, I guess being friends with frat boys and Republicans is pretty hipster. Sigh.

far-far

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

foghorn — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 00:45:40 EST

So many wonderful things about Bard--amazing faculty, beautiful campus, great programs--are marred by the presence of idiotic douches like Stephan K here.

This kind of self-satisfied monologue reminds me of a trustafarian my friends and I used to call "Penis Dreads," who had a penchant for wearing overalls with no shirt. I had the misfortune of being in a class with Penis Dreads junior year. He used to lean back in his chair and prop his calloused bare feet on the seminar table as he launched into smug rambling about his sex life, the high school he went to, or whatever other stupid fucking uninteresting thing was on his mind that day. I used to sit there and pray for God to send me an axe to chop off his hairy hobbit toes and stuff them in his mouth.

Toe-castrating rage notwithstanding, this post makes me slightly nostalgic for the days when I got to hang out in the fancy lofts of the $1000 pants crowd. Those rich kids are crazy!

foghorn

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

Products Will Save Me — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 00:31:28 EST

@misssgolightly: Boo Boo Tannenbaum?
Mine would be [redacted.]

Products Will Save Me

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

misssgolightly — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 00:22:34 EST

@guevara284:
Mine's "Boo-Boo Canterbury."
Beat that.

(Thanks mom and dad, for naming the twin kittens Moo-Moo and Boo-Boo).

My uncle's is Gaylord Pearl, though. I always thought that was a pretty good one.

misssgolightly

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

Spike Vrusho — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 23:53:38 EST

There are three Bard hotties who ride in my taxi on a regular basis for the 6 mile trek from the Rhinecliff Amtrak station to the Jonestown-style encampment surrounding Leon Botstein's ego in Annandale: India, Julia and Sabrina. The rest are quite straight-laced and are obssessed by video games like any other Midwestern youth and really are quite boring when it comes to college students. They've got nothing on the folks from Hiram, Wittenburg, Kenyon, et al, out where "A Million Little Pieces" never really took place.

Spike Vrusho

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

guevara284 — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 22:51:06 EST

@Colonel Mustard: Mine would be...Buffy Trumbull. Not so hot.

guevara284

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

guevara284 — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 22:49:26 EST

@Koala325: I was taking a mental health sabbatical - I accidentally walked in on J.A. adjusting her tampon and things just haven't been the same since.

guevara284

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

Conbon — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 22:46:19 EST

@BinkysDream: I think we must know each other.

Conbon

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

Moff — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 22:34:05 EST

@cmd: Why else would you write a column?

@LolCait: Mr. Lif!

Moff

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

belltolls — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 22:09:22 EST

Less Than Zero.

belltolls

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

BinkysDream — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 21:38:23 EST

asked me if "this was what private school parties were like"
Wow. The parties I went to were usually in rambling decaying and drafty houses (with names like "Fridigdaire", "Ponderosa", and "The Convent" where the women's rugby team lived) that usually had 8 or 9 people sharing rooms to save on rent. The shag carpeting was usually damp from the beer that spilled from your plastic cup when the dogs, running through the house, almost knocked you over. Usually some dude took too much acid, resulting in him getting naked and running outside in the cold rain or pogoing wildly to the band that had also taken too much acid and was reduced to playing noise rock. The whole place smelled like patchouli oil, so you'd end up on one of the many dirty couches that were outside on the porch, trying desperately to pick up that chick who would have nothing to do with you.

BinkysDream

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

Colonel Mustard — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 19:51:16 EST

@Koala325: Actually, my pet was named Mellows and I grew up on CC Boulevard, but "Mellows CC" just sounded WAY too...I dunno, cunty.

Colonel Mustard

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

lalahsghost — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 19:07:10 EST

Damnit, one year of West Virginia Wesleyan College left... Where should I go to grad school to get a PsyD?

lalahsghost

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

adminslave — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 19:06:09 EST

@Colonel Mustard: Mine is BB Chills. Growing up on Chills Blvd was awesome. And BB was the best chinchilla a little girl could ask for.

adminslave

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

koala325 — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 19:05:48 EST

@guevara284:

Ha. Where've you been?

koala325

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

koala325 — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 19:03:13 EST

@Colonel Mustard:

So you had a pet named CC and lived on Mellows Street?

koala325

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

Conbon — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:56:37 EST

@guevara284: Stephan K don't edit so good.

Conbon

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

guevara284 — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:53:31 EST

@suboptimal: It was a gerbil. Perhaps it wandered out of the porn cabinet?

guevara284

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

suboptimal — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:43:55 EST

Why does the parking lot only have half a tail? Also, which half does it have?

suboptimal

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

Colonel Mustard — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:42:21 EST

@adminslave: CC Mellows is my porn name.

Colonel Mustard

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

cmd — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:39:11 EST

sounds like this kid is using the column to get laid. game over, man, game over.

cmd

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

Goodbye, Commenters! — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:32:33 EST

@LolCait: OMAR would like a word with you.

Goodbye, Commenters!

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

Conbon — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:31:44 EST

@elijahpollack: Or Rikers?

Conbon

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

Goodbye, Commenters! — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:31:19 EST

Hey: don't knock the air time you can get from Jersey speed bumps until you've tried--

OOPS!!!!!

--hey, keep driving! I think that was a kid!

Goodbye, Commenters!

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

theoldgym — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:23:35 EST

I miss Bard too...
I graduated 11 years ago. We didn't drink wine then, just kegs of Genessee Cream Ale, or if there was wine, it was Conche Del Torro and it was out of a jug in the woods.

theoldgym

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

ElijahPollack — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:21:51 EST

"meeting the most amazing people you'll meet in your entire lives."

Really? Have you ever been to Oberlin?

ElijahPollack

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

TedSez — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:21:14 EST

I dunno about this installment of "Whit Stillman's Less Than Zero Gossip Girls in the Rye." On the other hand, I'm not Charlotte Simmons.

TedSez

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

adminslave — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:20:14 EST

Am I supposed to know who CC Mellows is? It sounds like one of the names my friend and I have cooked up for our future as crazy cat collecting old ladies. CC Mellows (or Meows), Proffesor Mew-Mew, and Corporal Cutiekins.

adminslave

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

Ha Ha Sound — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:19:31 EST

CC Mellows, you rule. I love you.

Reading this makes me wish that I'd had any friends at all back when I was at Bard.

Ha Ha Sound

Bard College: "The Only Good Place Left On Earth"

LolCait — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 18:17:04 EST

"We were at this party and I was writing this column and it was not not a beautiful penthouse apartment, tilting precariously over the dead, dead, dead city streets. And there I was drinking with them, peeling labels off glasses, ogling moms, and the wind from somewhere was whistling through my ears, I was bumming cigarettes to Mellow Yellow and I was thinking about how much I love it here and how much I love being a "narc" and I don't really get why I'm doing any of this, yeah ANY of this, the school, the narc, the low thrum of Mr. Lif's bass pulsing through me, and I started to think maybe that's why I'm so tired all the time, you know, being like this, fucking, you know, contradiction or whatever. I miss Bard but I also don't. I miss making fun of Bard. Yeah. Maybe that's it. Or maybe my head just hurts and I'm thinking weird. Too many (speed) bumps."

LolCait