I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno' - Gawker Comments

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

WhatsMyNameAgain — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:55:05 EST

So I get the impression that this movie is on the same level of stupidity as Weeds.

It's takes an idea that isn't pleasant at all (teen pregnancy/drug dealing) and tries to make it cute.

Fucking great.

I was really hoping for a good movie out of this. Oh well...

WhatsMyNameAgain

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

IBentMyWookie — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:53:59 EST

@DorothyMantooth: No. The slap in the face is the following (stand back peeps, she is going to explode and this whole place will be covered in borscht and vodka):

John Krasinki's head is the exact shape of a peanut.

IBentMyWookie

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

DorothyMantooth — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:51:23 EST

@Cesare_the_Somnambulist: Oh, I LURVE that clip! I saw it on YouTube a while back & promptly sent it around to all 3 of my friends.

Wookie knows that I just have incredible disdain for her irrational refusal to even watch any of the U.S. Office -- despite my repeatedly telling her how awesome it is! It's the slap in the face she uses to rile me up.

DorothyMantooth

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Hez — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:46:50 EST

@Cesare_the_Somnambulist: Loved the Golliwog episode. And how about the Kate Winslet episode? Her advice on phone sex ("put your Willy Wonka in my Oompa Loompahs") is worth taking to the bank!

Hez

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Goodbye, Commenters! — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:46:39 EST

@DorothyMantooth: Nothing is better than the clip I linked to.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Goodbye, Commenters! — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:45:41 EST

@IBentMyWookie: Click above--it's ok to watch. The Ricky Gervais character has just gotten a little famous for his role in a bad catchphrase comedy show (silly wig and glasses). He inveigles himself into the VIP section in a bar and David Bowie writes a song for him on the spot. Watch!

[www.bebo.com]

OK. It never occurs to me to kiss with the tongue. But then, women usually just grab me and start kissing me, so I tend to wait primly for that moment, if it happens.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

DorothyMantooth — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:42:24 EST

@IBentMyWookie: You are stupid. Every single version of the show made for another country had the SAME PILOT AS THE ORIGINAL! They ALL did the stapler in jello -- 'cause Gervais WANTED it that way! (Jim also put Michael's "World's Best Boss" mug in jello in the American pilot. It was charming.)

And now you've reduced me to yelling.

(Also, I recently re-watched all my British Office DVDs. And again found them extraordinarily funny. The American version is still better. There! I said it.)

As for you, JojoSaysNo, that's better.
Also? More for me. Yays!

DorothyMantooth

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

IBentMyWookie — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:41:05 EST

@Cesare_the_Somnambulist: Haven't seen Extras yet, but hope to rectify that in the New Year.

No tongue.

IBentMyWookie

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Goodbye, Commenters! — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:38:30 EST

@IBentMyWookie: You know who is great? The cast of "straight" men and women at the end--the management. Hilarious.

Seen Extras? The David Bowie episode?
[www.bebo.com]

The Golliwog episode?

---

Long kiss please!

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Conbon — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:36:38 EST

@JojoSaysNo: I think we just disagree on how "fawning" it really was. That's a perfectly valid interpretation, I just don't share it. Some people seem to respond irrationally to those who disagree. Oh well.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

IBentMyWookie — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:33:04 EST

@Cesare_the_Somnambulist: The first time I saw the show (BBC Canada special preview) I laughed until I was sobbing. It was "I think there's been a rape!" that did it.

IBentMyWookie

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

JojoSaysNo — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:32:04 EST

@DorothyMantooth: Gah! Sorry. John Krasinski's incessant mugging is really fucking irritating.

My bad!

JojoSaysNo

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

IBentMyWookie — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:31:45 EST

@Cesare_the_Somnambulist: you've earned a kiss.

And I can't believe the Yank version lacks so much integrity that they copied the stapler in the jello. Pah.

IBentMyWookie

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

JojoSaysNo — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:29:21 EST

@21370;@Conbon: Naughty name-calling aside, I completely agree with you that Krakauer, Penn and Eddie "Captain Sanctimony" Vedder are shoving their baseless admiration for McCandless down our throats.

So, what, he's dissatisfied with "Society", so he runs off and proudly mooches off of people (who likely are also dissatisfied with society) that have enough decency to look after themselves? Then he wanders into the wilderness, completely unprepared, and dies stupidly?

By that logic, any dead bum gets a fawning biopic.

JojoSaysNo

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Goodbye, Commenters! — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:27:11 EST

@IBentMyWookie:

Gareth: "He's a wierd little bloke! Look at his cartoon face and his hair, he looks like a Fisher Price man, and his rubbish clothes... it makes me think there's something wrong with you for a start but yet in my head I'd still do you so I'm confused."

Wookie!

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

procrastinator, esq. — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:26:17 EST

@ginger rant: I'm still waiting for that feel-good abortion comedy that this country has been waiting for. National Lampoon's Dr. Wirehanger! has a lot of potential, though.

procrastinator, esq.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Goodbye, Commenters! — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:24:45 EST

@IBentMyWookie:

Simon: "You know Bruce Lee's not really dead don't you? Yeah it's in a book - what he did was he faked his own death so that he could work undercover for the Hong Kong police infiltrating drugs gangs and The Triads."

Gareth: "Yeah I reckon that's true."

Tim: "Yeah I reckon that's true 'cos if you were gonna send someone undercover to investigate The Triads you'd probably want the world's most famous Chinese film star."

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

BrianVan — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:16:25 EST

@IBentMyWookie: Well, as countless people will tell you, relationships suck. For one thing, many are quite ordinary. Even the most extreme among us wind up doing some really normal, terrifyingly cutesy spooning at the end of the day with another human being. Many great first dates are almost exactly alike, as are many bad end-stage dates. Second, when they end, it is wrenching and awful. Which is why most relationship movies are very off-putting. (The Break-Up is a perfect example of such a trainwreck)

Eternal Sunshine stands out from the pack because of its novel invention and the detailed suggestion of how that might actually play out in our world, for better or worse. That's why the unfilmed ending makes the movie even better. But you kinda have to put aside the relationship of the central characters and a personal interest... their relationship sucks and they're both shitty people. However, if you've ever been that shitty person desperately trying to revive a sucky relationship, then you know how it turns out. So it's more about the human condition than it is about finding a happy ending for heroes. And your take on the movie is very consistent with the idea that sometimes people don't want to pay to be sad and thoughtful. Certainly I'm ridiculous for doing so. But I'm definitely part of an established market segment, for whatever that's worth...

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

21370 — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:13:52 EST

@Conbon: Yeah, I guess you are right. It was just so subtlely crafted that I overlooked the entire point of the film. Thanks for clearing that up. Smug cunt.

21370

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Spirit Fingers — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:12:52 EST

@21370: Can't take credit for watching the show, or enduring the finale of the Sopranos, of which I'm very proud. From what I heard though, it enraged many a fan, and rightfully so. If you invested that much time in something...to end so connivingly ambiguously, just so the producers and writers could feel so irreverent, then, well, I sympathize.

As for the No Country drivel...I care not for poignant, "lets evaluate the world" crap endings. You freaking set me up to see some shit get resolved, and now I expect you to deliver!! Watching Tommy Lee bemoan the times when you could, I don't know, spit tobaccky, flash your sheriff star and say, " Well now, John boy, you better not be causin' no trouble" while he sat and damn near had a nervous breakdown, made me want to put the friggin pistol in his mouth for him. I'm not saying the ending needed to have a bow wrapped around it, but for Christ's sake don't go in with a bang, have us all hanging on with sheer white knuckled adrenaline, and then leave out with a raging What The Fuck! It just cheapens the moment.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

DorothyMantooth — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:10:45 EST

@Conbon: I'll definitely admit that it merits some sort of cinematography award. As for the pacing, the word "soporific" comes to mind.

I still love you, though.

DorothyMantooth

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

DorothyMantooth — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:07:10 EST

@IBentMyWookie: You realize that drink will lead to tying you down & making you watch many, many DVDs, right?

DorothyMantooth

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

BrianVan — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:04:15 EST

@spirit fingers: No Country's ending? That's how the book ended. There was one ridiculous part of it, almost as ridiculous as those "Holy Shit" VW commercials that use the same sensory stunt, but otherwise it's much more graceful than anything the committee would have come up with. It's the polar opposite of how The Departed ended - a movie that was as gratuitous as it was rich and satisfying. (Which is why every Italian jerks off to Scorcese)

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

MartyPants — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:03:48 EST

@SinisterRouge: I don't know about you, but I'm thinking about un-friending the Cera unfriendly. It's just so telling!

MartyPants

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Conbon — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:00:27 EST

@21370: "there is nothing to get other than some suburban twat hated his dad, ran off into the woods and killed himself while he was trying to be profound"

Ummmm right. There is nothing else to get. You're the one adding hagiography, martyrdom, and a general greater significance to his death. Not Krakauer, not Penn, not me. He's a kid who tried something different. He fucked up and paid for it with his life. All those people who you claim he "taught how to love again" he did just by being likable, not by making any judgement on society. Plus, they were without exception devastated by his narrow minded goal and ultimate abandonment of them. But "smug cunt" is where I stopped caring about you, so nevermind.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

21370 — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:58:40 EST

@IBentMyWookie: Seriously, why can't Kauffman just write a straight, gimmick-free story about love, relationships or creative frustration? It would be a lot more interesting, but I suppose if it didn't have it's "quirk" it wouldn't get called a work of genius by people who read iD Magazine...

21370

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Chaim Gnadelstein — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:57:59 EST

@spirit fingers:

The ending was faithful to the novel, but it worked in the novel on the back of elements that largely didn't quite translate into the film adaptation. So it just kind of left you saying what the fuck.

Chaim Gnadelstein

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

21370 — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:55:28 EST

@spirit fingers: Did you also think the end of the Sopranos was a crime against humanity? The ending of No Country was perfect- just as it was in the book: ambiguous, depressing and chilling. If you think about it, the climax and ending have a lot to say about the nature of death. Some might even say that was the whole point of the film...

21370

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

IBentMyWookie — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:54:28 EST

@BrianVan: I like Gondry as a video director, and am sure he has a good film in him. It was the script that did me in, with its tweeness and its utter failure to represent "relationships" outside of quotation marks.

I appreciate your offer but will not be giving that shower of shit another viewing.

IBentMyWookie

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

BrianVan — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:51:26 EST

@IBentMyWookie: I must protest, respectfully. Eternal Sunshine is perhaps one of the greatest science fiction movies ever. Not for any immediately obvious reasons. The cinematography is fantastic. The direction and acting are quite brilliant. The story DOES come together but it's not very straightforward. The ending is, unfortunately, the happy Hollywood ending that was imposed by the more reasonable people on the production committee, but there's a better original (un-filmed) ending that would make you appreciate the story better. I've watched this movie about 10 times in the past 2 months and it gets better every time. (I otherwise have NO tolerance for "indie" or "quirky" unless something about the movie is actually good. I do not hand out critical welfare payments) Find me offline and I will be glad to provide a quick viewing guide to help you find what's better about this fine film. (And yes, I'm big on Gondry, used to be back in the day when he did music videos, and I understand his style can be overbearing if you don't like that type of visual expression. But it is immersive for many people, and rather bold in a way that most films regrettably are not.)

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Spirit Fingers — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:49:11 EST

Did anyone else think the ending of No Country for Old Men was a heinously, hideous, miscarriage of justice? Ruined the whole ride it did. I'll want to throw the Coen's in the wood chipper if I find out there are alternate endings on the DVD when released. Punt!

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

21370 — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:45:32 EST

@Conbon: I'm sorry, did you miss the helicopter shot where Eddie Vedder was moaning about society's bullshit rules while the spolit twat struck a crucifix pose atop a mountain? Or the numerous scenes where he taught people how to love again by abandoning said bullshit rules? The worst part of this film is having to listen to smug cunts telling you that you "don't get it" when, in fact, there is nothing to get other than some suburban twat hated his dad, ran off into the woods and killed himself while he was trying to be profound. Society,man... that's what killed Alexander Supertramp, man... RIP brah! Jesus fucking Christ, I'm a fucking hippie and I saw through that adolescent prat's act... Next time, try Costa Rica, dude. It's a lot warmer.

21370

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

the supergoddess — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:44:00 EST

@BrianVan: oh god how I loved sports night - there's another one to add to our charmings/so called life list. but! back the hell off my hand-wringing liberal programming. BACK. RIGHT. OFF.

the supergoddess

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Spirit Fingers — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:43:08 EST

@procrastinator, esq.: Never utter thine words about Fillion, unless you are discussing his imminent reprisal of Mal Reynolds, the best space cowboy since freaking Han Solo.

[Spirit Fingers can calm his inner nerd now. It just had to be said, though. And dares anyone to disagree.]

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

IBentMyWookie — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:43:08 EST

@DorothyMantooth: Never will I stoop so low as to give any time to that watered-down American abomination of a brilliant show.
You know my policy on that. And for mentioning it yet again, you owe me a drink in the new year.

IBentMyWookie

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

DorothyMantooth — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:40:06 EST

@IBentMyWookie: "Which means Throw Mama from the Tambien."

(Yes, I will resort to anything to get you to watch the U.S. Office.)

DorothyMantooth

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

BrianVan — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:39:31 EST

@DorothyMantooth: Absolutely! The exception that proves the rule.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

IBentMyWookie — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:38:39 EST

@21370: It wasn't the worst of the lot, just nowhere near as good as it had been described.

Lost in Translation and Eternal Sunshine were worse.
As for Anderson, I thoroughly enjoyed The Life Aquatic, but not Rushmore .

IBentMyWookie

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Conbon — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:36:31 EST

@DorothyMantooth: What I just said plus I thought the photography, pacing, and performances were fabulous. So I didn't find it boring. Especially the Kristen Stewart sequence.

@IBentMyWookie: I agree except for Y tu Mama. Alfonso Cuaron does no wrong.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Spirit Fingers — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:36:20 EST

@actorpull: And this excuses the Knocked Up snub....um no. And if it's not an indie than why toy with the emotions of those with sensitive indie nipples? Whenever you have a lead character, under the age of 30, playing against type, then my friend you have an indie. This is no Mean Girls or High School Music crap filled piece of tripe. They are indeed billing it as an indie. We've got a too smart for her own good heroine, and a too nerdy to be believed love interest. I'd say indie all the way.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

DorothyMantooth — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:36:07 EST

@Conbon: Also (unless it was meant ironically -- which I really hope it was) for this comment. Sorry, 21370.

DorothyMantooth

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

21370 — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:34:17 EST

@IBentMyWookie: The Squid and the Whale you were REALLY surprised that this was terrible? Surely you take the piss. Certainly every film you listed is a steaming pile of overhyped garbage, but surely by the time The Squid and the Whale came along you had learned your lesson? BTW, has anyone told you Wes Anderson is a talentless hack yet? Just making sure you are up to date...

21370

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

DorothyMantooth — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:32:57 EST

@BrianVan: Ironically, Sports Night (which he was all sorts of coked up while writing, no?) was fully awesome.

DorothyMantooth

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

IBentMyWookie — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:32:24 EST

@IBentMyWookie: Fuck, I forgot Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or whateverthehell it was called.

IBentMyWookie

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Conbon — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:32:21 EST

@21370: Yeah, that wasn't really the point of the movie or the book. It was more here's someone who tried something radically different and ultimately very stupid. He made some valid arguments, but was clearly very very wrong overall, and as a result he's dead.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

IvyIngrate — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:31:59 EST

@surfacenoise76:
Fast Times at Ridgemont High

IvyIngrate

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

DorothyMantooth — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:31:06 EST

@Conbon: I wish I had some talent for putting these kinds of things into words, but it was just... boring. And trite. And trying too hard to be so earnest and "saying something." At least, that's how it came across to me... I honestly just could not wait for it to be over since about five minutes into it.

DorothyMantooth

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

IBentMyWookie — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:28:48 EST

Wookie's list of films that were okay-to-good but irrevocably overhyped and as a consequence disappointing (in no particular order):
Lost in Translation
City of God
The Squid and the Whale
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Sideways
Y Tu Mama Tambien

IBentMyWookie

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

ginger rant — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:26:08 EST

@Carol Gardens: Good point. I think what we have going on here is the Maude-Rosanne paradox (right word?). In the 1970s, Bea Arthur's character had an abortion for no other reason than because she didn't feel that she could give a child what s/he needed (unsolicited editorial: as good a reason as I've ever heard for having an abortion); when Roseanne considered it for her character in the 1990s, it was going to be because there was some problem with the fetus, but she (the real Roseanne) wimped out, probably because she thought the public couldn't take it and would destroy her. (I remember reading her saying that she had contacted NOW to make sure it had her back if she went through with the abortion idea.) Point being, the indie-film world (as Knocked Up and Juno attest) is now as chickenshit as TV land.

Wow: I see that I used a whole lot of words to tell you all something that you already know. Merry Christmas, everybody!!!

ginger rant

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

21370 — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:25:47 EST

@JojoSaysNo: Only if we can be wed on the site of Alexander Supertramp's heroic martyrdom, gazing soulfully into each other's eyes as we read each other passages of Tolstoy and burn money...

21370

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

ninety_nine — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:25:27 EST

Why is the commenter counter inflating the numbers? Did you slip some money to the supergay IT warriors to subvert the Denton Paradigm?

ninety_nine

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

BrianVan — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:24:26 EST

@Chaim Gnadelstein: I nicknamed all of Sorkin's series "Happy Liberal Fun Time." His most recent shows were just a continuation of the same meme, which was the need to self-aggrandize one's personal political beliefs through snappy prime-time dialogue. I'm a political moderate but I can smell batshit crazy from a mile away, and Sorkin loves no one more than himself. And the funny thing is, he was like the kindergarten teacher leading the kids in song, and all the kids sang in unison. It's funny to watch a bunch of supposedly educated* adults sing-songing along to the party line, until you realize that these people are dangerous in their beliefs and have just as much capability to murder and destroy as anyone else in the hyper-political-extremist spectrum. And then you sort of realize how Kerry became a presidential candidate, and you cry harder.

*It is amazing how much of the adult public knows how to parrot anything put in front of them, the goal of much of our social education system, but fail in the ability to think critically. For example, this is a country where every authority figure will tell you in your formative years to NOT DO DRUGS, and yet not a single teenager can present to you a good reason WHY NOT TO DO DRUGS. Which is why we've all done drugs, and still do.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

DorothyMantooth — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:22:36 EST

@JojoSaysNo: Also (and I think Emily would agree with me), John Krasinksi is awesome. That is all.

DorothyMantooth

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Conbon — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:22:13 EST

@DorothyMantooth: Why because?

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

GingerVitis — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:21:48 EST

@City_Dater: Can we stop with the "very young screenwriter" bullshit, please? If that woman is a day under 35 in anything other than Publicist Years, I will eat my hat.

LA is crawling with "29-year-old" alterna-chicks trying to sell a script out here to a bunch of square studio folk who have no idea that "edgy" sailor tattoos and skunk stripes went stale in 2000.

More power to Diablo Cody for beating out the other "I was a Derby Girl/Stripper/Phone Sex Operator so BUY MY MOVIE" fucktards to the punch, but let's call a spade a spade, shall we?

GingerVitis

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

DorothyMantooth — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:20:58 EST

@Conbon: Sorry, but Into The Wild was atrocious. Just a terrible movie.

DorothyMantooth

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Ofeelya — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:19:11 EST

In Movie World, sensible and funny females never have abortions, or really consider the option seriously at all. AND they have babies by creepy unattractive losers. It makes me want to scream.

Ofeelya

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

actorpull — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:18:26 EST

@spirit fingers: The script for Juno was being shopped around Hollywood before Knocked Up was even pitched. They just happen to be coming out in the same year as each other.

actorpull

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

DorothyMantooth — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:18:22 EST

@Pope John Peeps II: Heh. I s'pose I can live with that, then.

DorothyMantooth

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

actorpull — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:16:23 EST

Attention everyone: Juno is about as much of an indie as Titanic. Fox Searchlight bought the rights to the script, fronted the money, and let them go shoot their movie so they could distribute it. That's not an indie.

actorpull

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Spirit Fingers — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:11:32 EST

Normally I steer clear of Indies, if for nothing else but the annoying earnestness that says, "Hey, Dad we made a movie with three buffalo nickels, a buttload of dreams, and an unfinished ending, but hell who cares we're going to Sundance!", but I can admit to wanting to see Juno.

Not that I'm sensitive to middle class, teenage white girls, getting knocked up, being supported by their parents, and finding the perfect couples to raise their illegitimate bastard children. This is clearly fiction. Short of the bible belt, that chick would have been at Planned Parenthood so fast, it would have been like pulling up to the drive thru and ordering a cheeseburger.

No I want to see Juno because, since Knocked up didn't get nominated, which I'm sure was waaaay funnier; I just want to know that whoever this no name writer is, didn't steal from Apatow, which would then be really fucked up. And then I could come here and say, "Yeah, it was totally Apatow but without the fat kid, the aging "I played a gay guy in that really gay movie" with Jennifer Aniston, guy, and that one chick that was probably hot in like 1998, but now she's just kind of okay."

And when did Jason Bateman become relevant again? He and the Sheens just appear like roaches in an unlit stairwell.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Chaim Gnadelstein — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:04:58 EST

@BrianVan:

Could not agree more about Half Nelson. As far as my entertainment-by-and-for-white-people goes, I'll take the suburban quirk of a hundred Junos over one more righteously understated and ultimately substanceless pseudo-intellectual indie about race relations and humanity and whatever.

However, I'll gladly take either of those options over any future TV series by Aaron Sorkin. In a heartbeat.

Chaim Gnadelstein

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

moff — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:03:38 EST

@procrastinator, esq.: What about those of us who make no secret about it?

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

procrastinator, esq. — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:59:35 EST

To everyone who's lumping in Once with Little Miss, Juno and Waitress: why? Once was great, but it never tried to be some quirky underdog hipster comedy. None of the characters in Once were wisecracking pharmacists, elderly heroin addicts, suicidal gay professors, dog-obsessed stepmothers, or pregnant women who won't shut the fuck up about pie. Waitress, on the other hand, ugh. Liked only by people who secretly want Nathan Fillion to fuck them up in stirrups.

procrastinator, esq.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

vulturesquadron — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:58:50 EST

Juno will go over big with the lucrative "baby boomer looking for glossed over youth culture" demographic. Kinda like High Fidelity did a few years ago.

Y'know, the kind of movies that remind empty-nest ex-soccer moms of their kids.

vulturesquadron

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Goodbye, Commenters! — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:54:05 EST

@Conbon: But you still owe me, you know. For Xmas.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

JojoSaysNo — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:51:18 EST

@21370: Marry me?

JojoSaysNo

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

karion — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:49:46 EST

@Conbon:

Once wasn't a bad movie by any stretch of the imagination, but it was supremely overhyped for me. 98% tomato score, rabid internet buzz, etc. It was my fault for going with such expectations. I managed to enjoy Lost in Translation because I saw it two years after it came out.

I'm trying to think of the shittiest movie I saw this year, but am drawing a blank.

karion

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

mediawhore — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:49:22 EST

Atonement's my favorite this year. Loved 3:10 to Yuma too, and think Gone Baby Gone was hugely underrated. But Juno crept up on me--I think it's one of the top 10 of the year.

mediawhore

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Queen of the Passive Aggressives — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:48:55 EST

@The Real JR: I'm with you on that one girl. I wasn't throwing out the one liners back then either.

Queen of the Passive Aggressives

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

fiveinchtaint — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:47:43 EST

@BrianVan: This may anger some, but I thought the exact same thing about Before the Devil Knows You're Dead. Good acting and all, but could we please have just one single happy moment? Maybe I'm a sap, but I like to smile. Well, the Marissa Tomei parts were smile-worthy (at least when PSH wasn't behind her).

fiveinchtaint

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Conbon — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:45:39 EST

@Chaim Gnadelstein: I really liked it.

@BrianVan: We are agreeing far too much lately.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Ambition_is_pretension — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:45:37 EST

Man, I hope his barely-legal, pussy-joke-landing ass never leaves those shorts. Unless there's an A.D. movie. In which case, bring on the pleats!

Ambition_is_pretension

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

BrianVan — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:45:30 EST

BTW, you all know that this post is just a counter-attack on the ads on this site today, right? Emily can't possibly be that rotten in the month of December. The Andy Rooney of our generation.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

BrianVan — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:43:20 EST

@Ack: Hey, Little Miss Sunshine wasn't terrible. It just wasn't all that great. It met some reasonable expectations, but I wouldn't tell anyone that they needed to see it.

Now, if you want to see a terrible movie that too many white people liked, look no further than Half-Nelson. Really, what was the point of that movie? We tried to watch it, we really did. But we couldn't. It was dull as shit. Maybe the acting was good, but what does that count when you're in a POS movie?

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

21370 — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:42:38 EST

Wait Juno is an annoying, affected quirkfest? Next you are going to tell me that Into the Wild is a mawkish, smug hagiography of a spoilt rich douche who, like, totally HATED his dad! I'm truly shocked...

21370

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Conbon — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:42:30 EST

@grandmoffbastard: I'm only in charge on the weekends. And I think I've been deposed anyway.

@karion: I liked American Gangster when it was called Serpico, not so much this time. I still haven't seen Gone Baby Gone yet. 3:10 to Yuma was pretty good until the most ridiculous ending since Wayne's World. What was wrong with Once?

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Chaim Gnadelstein — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:42:14 EST

@tellmeagain:

I know, but whatever. Just trying to spread the word.

Chaim Gnadelstein

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

mattychicago — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:42:01 EST

i'm not going to see because i can't identify with pregnant women.

mattychicago

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

actorpull — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:38:23 EST

No Country for Old Men and There Will Be Blood (ESPECIALLY There Will Be Blood) were better films than this, obviously, and hopefully will be getting Oscar nominations - but what the heck is the problem with a movie like this being held in equal esteem, even though it's a whole lot different?

I don't know what movie half of you saw/are refusing to see, but I really enjoyed Juno. There's a bit of hesistatation to be "normal" with the dialogue early in the film, but it settles into itself, and is really quite touching.

actorpull

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

ediebeale — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:38:04 EST

@City_Dater: Even though I'm closer to Juno's age and I guess I was supposed to relate to her, Janney and Simmons were the highlight for me. [Spoiler alert] Alison Janney telling off that ultrasound tech was the movie scene of the DECADE.

ediebeale

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

MisterHippity — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:37:34 EST

Our Advertisers Are Advertising!

Thanks this week to: Ask.com (sucks), Avalon Bowery (sucks), Belvedere Vodka (tastes like cat piss), Crunch Fitness (sucks), Current TV (what the fuck is that? and who gives a shit?), Daft Punk (sucks), Ford Focus (lemon), Frommers (sucks), Hendrick's Gin (dog piss this time), Juno (trytoohardy, lacking in emotional nuance, uncharming), Kiki & Herb (see "Current TV" above), Look from Liberated Artists (oh my fucking God, are you kidding me?), The New New Museum (sucks), Register.com (sucks), Warner Brothers Live Earth (see "Look From Liberated Artists" above), The Whitest Kids U'Know (totally unfunny. and it sucks.).

Wouldn't you like to advertise? You certainly may.

MisterHippity

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

City_Dater — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:34:15 EST

So the script, by a very young screenwriter, has too much style for its own good -- it was more than redeemed by some fantastic underplayed performances (Juno's whole family is delightful, even the kid sister who never speaks). I think you're all being way too harsh, in that "I refuse to like anything that's being marketed aggressively to me" way typical of you youngsters.
Get past the twee credits and irritating score, and I defy anyone to not wish JK Simmons and Alison Janney were her parents when she was 16.

City_Dater

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

karion — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:34:06 EST

@Conbon:

Michael Clayton is probably my favorite this year (quelle surprise, no?), although I also really liked American Gangster and Gone Baby Gone. I'm going to see No Country for Old Men and that Yuma one this weekend.

My two Little Miss Sunshines of 2007 are Lars and the Real Girl and Once.

karion

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Dusty in the Wind — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:33:50 EST

Yes, Miss Sunshine = wack, corny.

Jason Reitman = wack, corny product of nepotism.

Dusty in the Wind

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

mcginstein — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:30:47 EST

I saw This Christmas instead. Stood out a little among the audience, but them darkies is hi-larious.

mcginstein

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

moff — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:30:07 EST

@Conbon: Now get everyone else to do it, too.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Ack — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:26:21 EST

@ftrain: THANK YOU! I thought Little Miss Sunshine was one of the worst movies I had seen in 2006, but everyone else I know thought it was the best movie ever sent down from Heaven. I'm always wary of any movie that advertises itself as "Look at how QUIRKY we are! Isn't it FUNNY that we're QUIRKY?"

But I still want to see Juno, even though I absolutely hate the Moldy Peaches and think they are the worst band ever.

Ack

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

tell Dolly Parton again — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:25:18 EST

@Chaim Gnadelstein: Unfair comparison. That's like saying Citizen Kane is better than Singin' in the Rain-- they just have very little in common.

tell Dolly Parton again

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

JojoSaysNo — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:23:36 EST

After falling madly out of love with Emily for her thinking for one second that Hannah Takes the Stairs wasn't going to suck a fat dick, I now feel a little pang of sweet feelin' for her once again.

The genus of media in love with its own cleverness must diediedie, whether the species is music, film or teevee.

Examples: Feist and her 1234 shit, Jim Krasinski's incessant camera mugging, etc etc...

JojoSaysNo

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Conbon — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:22:52 EST

@karion: @grandmoffbastard: "Juno," nothing but "Juno". Happy now, Moff?

Um I still haven't seen everything that I want to, but so far I would say in no particular order No Country For Old Men, Superbad, Michael Clayton (the most realistic movie about lawyers ever), Into The Wild, and The Diving Bell and The Butterfly. I'm sure I'm forgetting a bunch. I like stuff, honest.

Strongly disliked Atonement, and yes you know how I feel about that stupid rat.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

tell Dolly Parton again — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:22:45 EST

@surfacenoise76: It happened on Six Feet Under. I think that's the best we can do for now.

tell Dolly Parton again

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Carol Gardens — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:16:58 EST

"Passed." Sorry...

Carol Gardens

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Gregoire — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:16:56 EST

I was greatly disturbed that in closeups, I thought that woman had really sexy smooth legs, then the camera pans back and its Michael Cera.

Gregoire

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Carol Gardens — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:16:33 EST

As has been mentioned in some reviews, the last time a teenage girl character in a mainstream movie had an abortion was Jennifer Jason Leigh in FAST TIMES IN RIDGEMONT HIGH. And even though you wouldn't know it by looking at Phoebe Cates, a lot of time has past since then.

Carol Gardens

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

gingham — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:15:40 EST

@procrastinator, esq.: Waitress was awesome.

gingham

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

bess marvin, girl detective — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:13:54 EST

@adminslave: degrassi goes there.

bess marvin, girl detective

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

karion — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:12:13 EST

@Conbon:

You too, rat-hater. What were your favorite movies this year?

karion

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

bess marvin, girl detective — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:12:10 EST

@surfacenoise76: thinking of adding an abortion party to my script...only you may have to wait 10 years to infinity to see it...but if chuck norris can count to it twice, there's hope for you yet

bess marvin, girl detective

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

moff — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:11:11 EST

@Conbon: You didn't love it unequivocally, however, which is what I demand.

@Conbon: Very, very nice. (It was probably Liberty Belle.)

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Pope John Peeps II — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:09:25 EST

@DorothyMantooth: Oh I LOVED Michael Cera in Arrested Development. LOVED. He was great. But someone has to stop him from ACTING.

Pope John Peeps II

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

JudithButler — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:08:50 EST

@oovy: Hope you feel better. Spine surgery sounds serious

JudithButler

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

DavidWatts — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:07:52 EST

I could just tell from the ads that this is the kind of movie that would seem so with it to someone whose ideas about people under 35 are all from trend pieces in the New York Times. In other words, un-fucking-bearable.

DavidWatts

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Conbon — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:07:41 EST

@grandmoffbastard: And my urn has a blue slushee in it.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Chaim Gnadelstein — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:07:40 EST

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly is better.

Chaim Gnadelstein

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Carol Gardens — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:06:30 EST

Oh yeah, one thing did bug me. Even in KNOCKED UP (your other unintentional pregnancy comedy of the year), there was an explanation for why they didn't use a rubber. So I take back "smart" and replace it with "smart, except when it counts."

Carol Gardens

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Conbon — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:06:01 EST

@grandmoffbastard: I don't think I just panned it.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

DorothyMantooth — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:05:32 EST

@MisterHippity: You, too, Hippity.
*shakes fist*

DorothyMantooth

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

braak — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:05:28 EST

I just want to say, I think it's really cool that you'll give a mediocre-to-shitty review of a movie that's advertising on your website.

It actually lends a (small) degree of credibility to you guys.

braak

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

asketchymess — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:03:34 EST

Hmmm. I can't decide whether or not I still want to see it. I think I'll click on this banner ad to find out more.

asketchymess

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

LolCait — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:02:26 EST

@oovy: Oh. Spine surgery. Happy holidays.

(Cheers to a speedy recovery!)

LolCait

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

MisterHippity — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:02:19 EST

@pre555soul: That is ballsy. I mean, should could get fired or something.

MisterHippity

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

moff — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:02:13 EST

@Conbon et al.: IT WAS A GOOD MOVIE AND ALL OF YOU PEOPLE NEED TO DIG UP THE URNS IN WHICH YOU HAVE BURIED YOUR SOULS.

@Cesare_the_Somnambulist: Heh. Yes.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

DorothyMantooth — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:01:25 EST

@Pope John Peeps II: @Sayser: Y'all are crazy; he's fantastic. Plus he's a Canuck! I thought you were all about the solidarity, Peeps.

Also, @procrastinator, esq.: I saw Waitress on a plane and was surprised to find it adorable! So there.

DorothyMantooth

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

MisterHippity — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:00:54 EST

@Pope John Peeps II: He has to start acting before we can stop him.

MisterHippity

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

WendyKroy — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:59:19 EST

THANK YOU. I was just arguing about this over lunch yesterday. I'm into super-stylized dialogue as much as the next English major - meaning that (forgive me, Jesus) I do like Aaron Sorkin - but the lines in Juno were so self-consciously quirky I often cringed. I imagine the script reads really well on the page, but in the mouths of even those gifted actors they fizzled and died. That said, since Ian McShane did such miracles with Milch's rococo dialogue in Deadwood, I'd love to see him take a crack at Cody's words - who wouldn't pay $14 to hear Swearengen say "honest to blog"?

WendyKroy

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Goodbye, Commenters! — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:59:06 EST

@Cesare_the_Somnambulist: Actually, I would love to see a Final Destination based on commenter executions prevented at the last minute by an IT glitch.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

adminslave — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:58:34 EST

@surfacenoise76: Something close to that was depicted in "Degrassi: The Next Generation." Just substitute "smart teenage girl" with "stupid Canadian cheerleader who has unprotected sex with the dumb bi-polar guy in the awful jazz/rock band."

adminslave

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Conbon — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:57:37 EST

Meh. What were you expecting? There are some hilarious lines, Ellen Page is pretty great, no it's not groundbreaking. It's a movie written by a first-time screenwriter who has painstakingly crafted an image, and directed by Ivan Reitman's kid. It's exactly what I thought it would be.

But it does have J.K. Simmons telling a little girl that he "will kick [her] monkey butt" so it's not all bad.

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Carol Gardens — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:57:30 EST

@ftrain: I liked it much better than Little Miss Sunshine, which started out okay, but was totally annoying by the end. Juno was in reverse: the lingo-heavy opening (and was that product placement for Sunny-D?) made me antsy, but the film won me over by credits time. And the fact that it had parent characters that weren't idiots and a smart teen girl were extra credit.

Carol Gardens

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Maya Twocents — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:56:12 EST

@HeyThereKiller: Vulcan Mind Meld!

Maya Twocents

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

EnviousJuno — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:55:51 EST

"no envious Juno sat cross-legged over the nativity of any man's intellectual offspring" -- John Milton

(just for the record -- no heartfelt gamine sex here)

EnviousJuno

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

LadybirdRamone — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:55:02 EST

@surfacenoise76: I would like to see that movie, too, but as my friend pointed out after Juno, it would probably be horrible boring.

Young woman gets pregnant, struggles with the decision a wee bit, gets a ride to the doctor from her quirky next door neighbor, life goes on...

LadybirdRamone

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Diglett — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:54:14 EST

@LolCait: And I've only managed to come up for air for a sec because I'm defying my pain meds today, they're making me ca-RAY-ZAY.

Diglett

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

the cajun boy — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:53:44 EST

@oovy: good times.

the cajun boy

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

the cajun boy — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:53:31 EST

@fiveinchtaint: yes!

the cajun boy

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Diglett — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:52:56 EST

@LolCait: Just having some spine surgery.

Diglett

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Bunsy — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:52:24 EST

I know -- I REALLY wanted to like it, and was really looking forward to it. Juno's dialogue was waaaaaaaaaaaaay too fake/cutesy. Really got on my nerves after a while.

Bunsy

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Truculent — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:52:21 EST

I'm still going to see it, but you took all the fun out of it, Emily.

Truculent

I Really Wanted To Like 'Juno'

Goodbye, Commenters! — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:51:03 EST

@karion:

Emily LOVED Saw IX: The Commenters Die Screaming.