Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch - Gawker Comments

Whiskey, reminiscence and....

A) Page views for Balk.

B) Links to best stories for both Choire and Balk.

C) Good times.

lilyb

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

lilyb — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 15:30:53 EST

@Pope John Peeps II: You just rock.

Come join the wake. Whiskey, reminiscence and well you get the picture.

[gawker.com]

lilyb

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Pope John Peeps II — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 12:36:44 EST

ALERT

"this document contains no data"

Oh netscape, why do you always know what to say to win my heart?

Pope John Peeps II

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Pope John Peeps II — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 12:20:48 EST

HAMLET: "Ah I could be bound within a nutshell and count myself the king of infite space, but that I have BAD DREAMS."

ROSENCRANTZ: "What kind of nut? It makes a difference you know."

Pope John Peeps II

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

smithhimself — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 10:31:49 EST

Dear Nick:

This post makes me want to run downstairs to marketing and demand that we advertise on your site. (Something we have done in the past)

Gosh, it shows such a high level of sophistication and wit -- really cutting-edge stuff. Got to hand it to you, Nick. What a great way to get people talking.

Ahhh, no need to contact us. We'll call you...

Smith

smithhimself

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Lizzard — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 09:47:10 EST

Booo Julia Allison. Who are these writer people, and why are they making me sick? Fuckall, what am I supposed to do at work now?

Lizzard

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

slinkimalinki — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 04:53:02 EST

@mattychicago: you must have been hanging out in all the wrong locker rooms.

@judithbutler: generally people get sent links to these as a prank by their friends. which must be why you missed out.

slinkimalinki

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

LolCait — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 04:49:01 EST

@htotheomo: So close!!

LolCait

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

htotheomo — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 04:37:36 EST

@lolcait: Nope.

htotheomo

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

LolCait — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 04:10:50 EST

I may or may not have just submitted the 130th comment.

LolCait

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

mattychicago — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 23:38:27 EST

The BME pain olympics is the only one i am too scared to see.

and, yea, lol, what the hell happened to this site? It's like a locker room now.

mattychicago

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

lilyb — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 23:31:47 EST

@judithbutler: Goatse has been around for as long as the web - so yes, you are the new audience.

I wasn't then and aren't now, angry. It's hard w/o tone of voice and facial features to get tone. That's why context is so important.

My intention was to provide information and analysis.

Thanks for the heads up - I'll go back and re-read what I wrote.

lilyb

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

cousinavi — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 23:13:32 EST

Finally! It's about time Gawker - the Manhatten Media slash Celebrity site - provided linked coverage of copophagia and other poo-related vids and clips. In related news, Mary Kate and Ashley will be hosting a Squirt Fart 'n Turd to promote their new line of Tub Wear. Get there early as there is a limited supply of ExLax and the chunky PB will go quickly.

cousinavi

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

slinkimalinki — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 23:09:49 EST

@judithbutler: yes, most of us had. nearly all, i'd say. i guess you must be the new target audience.

slinkimalinki

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Ogiri W Surie — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 23:08:44 EST

In an attempt to bring some levity to my previous comment:

A man barges into a talent agent's office with his family and says, "I have an act that you won't believe, and I'm sure you'll get page-hits when you see it!" Nonplussed, the agent says, "I normally don't book family acts, but go ahead and show me."

The man introduces his wife, twin daughters, grandmother and dog, and gestures for them to begin. His wife pulls out a soft-serve machine and shoves it up one of the twins' hey-nanny-nanny as the other twin pulls the lever and dispenses chocolate ice cream into the dog's mouth.

Famished for anything remotely interesting in the New Year, the dog eagerly laps up the treat as the mother and father mix in peanuts and raisins, ala Coldstone Creamery, simulating feces. Meanwhile, grandma, thinking that she'd finally have a chance to showcase her jazz-yodeling skills, is revolted by the display and projectile-vomits into the agent's jaw-dropped mouth.

Seizing the opportunity, the father pulls out his schlong and alternately shoves it into the stunned agent's mouth and his wife's bunghole, all the while dripping an awful mix of bodily fluids on the floor that the pooch - as a new member of the act and oblivious to the depths to which the performance has sunk - continues to gorge on.

Finally, weakened by the torque, the ice-creamed daughter yanks the machine out of her nether regions, inadvertently hitting her twin in the head and spewing brain matter onto her grandmother and Julia Allison, who has arrived to keep her appointment.

Stunned, the agent says, "I'm disgusted but intrigued by the business-model possibilities," as Julia licks her lips in that 'hey-I've-arrived-at-the-right-time way,' and asks, "What do you call yourselves?"

Staggering up, the family snaps their fingers in unison and proclaim, "Gawker, 2008!"

Ogiri W Surie

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

JudithButler — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 22:47:27 EST

@Nutgraf: I don't think the happy toilet people would mind

JudithButler

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Nutgraf — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 22:31:51 EST

Does anyone have time to send links to this post to all the Gawker media advertisers? Perhaps a little Evian water would go well with this shit.

Nutgraf

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

JudithButler — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 22:29:49 EST

I didn't realize we'd tangled before.

LilyB, I usually enjoy your posts and enjoy any picture with a cat on it, but I have to ask why someone would direct such venom toward the new guy. Goatse et al are all quite relevant, I think. I can't imagine most of us had heard of all of these before. So I must conclude that your anger stems from somewhere else, I'm guessing a missed job opportunity.

JudithButler

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Bos'un's Mate — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 22:28:01 EST

Pan-pan, Pan-pan, Pan-pan

Bos'un's Mate

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

RoStyl — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 22:24:12 EST

Thank you for helping with my bulimia, i really couldn't deal with sticking my finger down my throat after this huge dinner i had tonight.

RoStyl

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

lilyb — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 22:00:30 EST

@karion: The whole bunch of you were great - Dismal Science was saying some provocative stuff as well. Much more entertaining than slogging through the Times, and you covered the important stuff.

lilyb

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

karion — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 21:46:45 EST

Thanks. Gingervitis was pretty kickass as well. I learned something on gawker!

@MisterHippity: I rarely speak in absolutes, although this time may merit an exception. I just cannot remember if this is the same person that boasts about their job and their apartment, not unlike JFP.

And thanks again for finding that link. Was driving me crazy.

karion

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

lilyb — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 21:24:56 EST

@karion: Hi Karion! I thanked you for your analysis of the strike in the Balk thread.
You and Dorothy Mantooth were awesome yesterday.

@judithbutler: Hi there! Still hurting from the last time we interacted? Tell me where it's sore and I promise to avoid that spot.

lilyb

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

ckeav — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 21:20:20 EST

Tionna, you got out just in time!

ckeav

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

MisterHippity — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 21:20:13 EST

@karion: Almost?

MisterHippity

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

karion — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 21:16:32 EST

@judithbutler:

You are almost consistently a shithead. Why is that?

karion

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

JudithButler — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 21:02:46 EST

Let me guess, Lily B... you applied for a reporter position and didn't get it. Better luck next time.

JudithButler

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Sargasm — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 20:56:17 EST

@bertyapple: Sadly, no.

Sargasm

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

moff — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 20:36:46 EST

@lilyb: Yeah, I don't get it. During my brief stint in restaurant management, I loved nothing more than knowing my employees were as capable as they were. Fixed myself a drink, found a booth in the back corner, and cracked a book. It's like, why get to the top if you just want to do everybody else's job?

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Hez — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 20:32:04 EST

@htotheomo: Keeping those ties tight is exactly why I created the underground city on Facebook.

And Moff & LilyB, I too have been in exactly the situation Richard appears to be in. I was even installed as governor when the Vichy Republic came to my newspaper. Grim times. My heart aches for the poor LOLkiddo.

Hez

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

lilyb — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 20:29:39 EST

@htotheomo: I'm just hoping Lolcait isn't selling his soul for this opportunity.

I hope, because I do like him very much, that he didn't know what was going to happen w/ the JA thing - after all, it happened under his name.

Clearly Denton did, and that's something his current employees are going to have to live with.

lilyb

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

lilyb — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 20:25:44 EST

@moff: Oh God, I know what you are talking about. I (3x!! in 3 companies) endured outside consultants coming in and figuring out what the problem was. Meanwhile we'd been communicating clearly and directly all along - all three places had amazing hiring policies and the employees were beyond brilliant - but the founder/owner went outside rather than just listen.

I did do a stint in a large, entrepreneurial, but still very large company and one thing I'll say for that is the information got communicated in the 360 review process.

I'd still choose the chaos of the smaller, more chaotic place, but damn, it wouldn't kill the owner to listen. Especially when he/she'd gone to all that trouble to hire smart competent employees.

lilyb

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

moff — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 20:24:32 EST

@htotheomo: I worry for Richard because I think I'd be uncomfortable being the subject of a lot of "You're great, but the place you work for sucks" comments. It's not quite like saying "You're great, but your boyfriend's a dick," but it feels like it. (I mean, the boyfriend may indeed be a dick, but as long as you're still with him...) I'm just sad because it seems like he's not actually commenting as much as he was before.

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

moff — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 20:19:25 EST

@lilyb: And I think he might have listened to them about as much as he listens to his commenters, which would drive me to quit, too. I remember Balk and Emily alluding to posts they really weren't behind but had been "asked" to post nonetheless.

At the newspaper I used to work for, when our awesome managing editor left, the publisher took over until a replacement was hired. Two months of pep-talk meetings and micromanagement of trivia. The only thing more dreadful was the replacement he ended up hiring.

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

htotheomo — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 20:16:58 EST

@lilyb: um, i think that's why they left. they saw where all of this is going. i have previously thought gawker would be a facebook-lite site. right now, it's just junk. even people, who initially had great stuff, are phoning it in. i expect them to leave next.

i worry for richard. i am not kidding. this guy needs social security for whatever-age-he-is.

am i the only one wondering if everyone is going to make it to another site, like elijiah pollack's, in order to keep these ties we've woven tight?

htotheomo

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

mathnet — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 20:10:12 EST

@Pope John Peeps II: Sending a little love your way.

mathnet

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

lilyb — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 20:10:00 EST

@Pope John Peeps II: I like the way you just cut through the bullshit and get to the important stuff.

lilyb

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Pope John Peeps II — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 20:06:06 EST

@bertyapple: What kind of sandwich?

Pope John Peeps II

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

lilyb — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 20:00:53 EST

@htotheomo: @moff: Also, I can't believe Choire would've tolerated what happened to Julia Allison yesterday. I truly believe Choire and/or Emily would've known that the live-blogging (and I use that term loosely) would've turned into a train wreck and argued strongly against it.

lilyb

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

moff — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 20:00:06 EST

@bertyapple: It's possible -- I mean, I think a lot of the Julia Allison stuff has been intentionally gratuitous, just to get comments and therefore clicks -- but I also think they've just lost some really fine veteran (by Gawker standards) writers and are struggling to replace them.

Anyway, the idiotic stories won't work forever. It's the Hawthorne effect, basically. A change in workplace conditions, whatever the change, improves productivity, simply by virtue of the fact that the workers (in this case, commenters) perceptions change. It's a temporary effect, though.

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

lilyb — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:56:57 EST

@slinkimalinki: Nick is from Valleywag - he was the first or second editor there, and the site was pretty darn week when he edited it. He ran a series of Hot or Not contests for PR workers in the Valley that was painful to watch.

He was soon removed, (possibly as soon as the contests brought enough viewers to the site) and stronger editors were pulled in. I never could understand why Nick was kept around - but perhaps Denton uses him for things like this. He's the scantily clad girl standing by the car....

My point being that Nick and his stories might be designed to pull in another type of reader - perhaps older and less connected to the web but perhaps more influential and more successful.

Once they arrive, Nick and posts like these will slowly disappear.

lilyb

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

bertyapple — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:50:17 EST

Wait! While making a sandwich, a thought just occurred to me. I can't be bothered to read the comments on other posts to see if others have already suggested this, but is it possible that Denton's ultimate strategy is to to post the most ludicrous/boring/idiotic stories ever (like this one) so that people like us will make mean comments, which will make others click through to read these comments (and ONLY to read the comments) and therefore meet Denton's goal of page views/world-advertising domination?

Perhaps we're bein' played, foolz.

bertyapple

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

moff — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:50:12 EST

@lilyb: Yeah, I've really gotten that sense. It's eerily reminiscent of at least a couple scenes I've been through. When he constructively criticized Maggie during her first couple of weeks in the comments, it gave me a bad feeling. He wasn't mean, but praise in public, criticize in private and all that. And a boss who doesn't think that's a big deal has some ego issues.

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

htotheomo — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:48:38 EST

@lilyb: What's telling is that I have found more than one spelling error today. Spelling errors never occurred before; Choire-Chist, even us commenters have the little, red squiggle under misspelled words...how hard can it be?

htotheomo

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

slinkimalinki — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:46:03 EST

@lilyb: i kind of thought that at the time. remember when the editors used to make fun of denton's requests?

slinkimalinki

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

htotheomo — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:43:20 EST

@elizabethm: Yay for you. When commenters were chosen and not automatically commenters, by virtue of saying anything, it was a lot better.

For reference, there are 3 tiers of Commentership, in order of relevance:

1. Media People

2. Pithy Commenters

3. Everyone Else

htotheomo

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

lilyb — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:42:54 EST

So anyone else wondering exactly how bad a manager Denton actually is?

After all, founders are notoriously bad managers, and I've worked for a few of them so I know this first hand, BUT, after watching the last few months unfold, I'm wondering if the issues with Balk, Emily and others could have been just as much about bad management as they were about an unpopular pay structure.

lilyb

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

LadlySack — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:25:16 EST

This is exactly why I read Gawker. Seriously.

LadlySack

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

webothlikesoup — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:17:48 EST

Sweet Jesus, I never thought I'd miss a catbag this bad.

webothlikesoup

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

moff — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:17:26 EST

I thought about the timeliness and relevance of this post some more, and I've figured it out: This fancy blog is just The New York Times.

@DorothyMantooth: I suggested a GawkerWiki to Denton just the other day.

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

slinkimalinki — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:16:21 EST

@J. Henry Waugh: talk to hez

slinkimalinki

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

bertyapple — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:13:45 EST

You know what would be funny? Or at least semi-interesting, compared to this post? To post the transcript of the conversation in which it was decided that this might possibly be a good thing to post about. I'd LOVE to read that, as opposed to anything that's been written here in the last few days.

bertyapple

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Hez — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:07:12 EST

@Nick Douglas: I really can't say it any better than this, so I won't bother repeating myself.

Hez

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Hez — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:04:53 EST

@Metcalf: Memeburger is now a private group, as per several requests. Facebook me (link on my Commenter profile page) and I'll send you an invite. We had a memeburship surge. Heh.

Hez

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

moff — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:03:30 EST

@elizabethm: The sci-fi site is great. I hope it flies.

And the Internet is FOR COMPLAINING. That's what the "com" actually stands for.

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

moff — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:02:08 EST

Am I wrong, or did "2 Girls, 1 Cup" happen, like, weeks (otherwise known as "Internet-years") ago?

And am I wrong, or does it count not at all as "media gossip" and only most speciously as "pop culture"?

And finally, am I wrong or what's the opposite of "too insidery"? "Too everyone has heard about this already except your parents, and they don't anywayery"?

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

fileunder — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:01:38 EST

@fileunder: *slight

fileunder

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

fileunder — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:59:55 EST

@karion:
thanks for the NY Mag link.
i'm not sure what happened here this week either, but i still can't get over the fact that the JA 'liveblog' or whatever (and not to sleight anyone in particular) got what, 3X as many views as Choire's brilliant summary of what the hell has happened in this city over these past few years.
one week ago tonight.@the cajun boy: well said.

fileunder

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

elizabethm — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:58:41 EST

@karion: I'm inclined to agree with your assessment. Gawker has been a trainwreck of sorts this week but I've still proudly accomplished maximum work-avoidance while watching the carnage unfold. I'll wait it out and see what happens in ensuing weeks.

I do adore the new sci-fi site!

Also: there has been more babyass whining and complaining from the commentors than I ever thought possible. But even THAT is a particular kind of trainwreck I love watching.

elizabethm

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

larrydarrell — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:56:48 EST

on the other hand, kermit the frog is funny.

larrydarrell

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

HeyWhoTookMyStapler — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:46:22 EST

Where's my Gawker?
Um... Eww. I can't believe I read all that (and I can't believe people actually watch all of that).

Never thought I'd say this, but I miss the Shaeffer and John Fitzgerald Page posts.

HeyWhoTookMyStapler

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Metcalf — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:45:20 EST

@elijahpollack: Ah

Metcalf

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Metcalf — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:45:10 EST

OK, now I'm freaked - the memeburger link on Facebook is popping up as "content unavailable".

Metcalf

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

ElijahPollack — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:44:59 EST

@lilyb: Well, we actually moved it to my blog. www.slcoutsider.com

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Metcalf — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:40:05 EST

@karion: Holy f - I'd wondered what happened to Morgan.
@the cajun boy: All true.

My wishful thinking is that none of the ex-eds have noncompetes in their contracts, and that they can get together and start a new blog somewhere else - or maybe Boogie Nights in reverse, with Denton coming crawling back to all of them at the end after a week in the wilderness. But given the pissy response to Morgan's departure, I'm guessing that it's actually over, that we're left with memeburger (which I guess I have to join, like now) and to hope that it's viable.

Sad.

Metcalf

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

lilyb — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:39:47 EST

@elijahpollack: I've bookmarked your blog.

Would you link to the FNFF on Facebook?

lilyb

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

karion — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:33:19 EST

@DorothyMantooth:
As a fellow member of the bar, I feel compelled to cite the one flaw in my brief.

Nevertheless, I am going to bet on Denton not trying to completely rebrand this site in a manner that pretty much undermines the user base of the whole empire.

karion

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

fiveinchtaint — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:24:31 EST

@elijahpollack: Man that's harsh. For all we know this drivel is mandated. I agree no es bueno, but I don't think I'd write him off yet. But, opinions and assholes and all that. I thought Before the Devil Knows You're Dead was horseshit, so what do I know?

fiveinchtaint

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

ElijahPollack — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:23:53 EST

@therealgoogle: FNFF is happening on Facebook this week.

Consider this your first review.

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

nikkilove — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:23:05 EST

I just quickly went to the tubgirl link. What is wrong with you people!!!! I was planning on Indian food tonight, but NOT ANYMORE.

nikkilove

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

therealgoogle — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:22:33 EST

This is supposed to be the FNFF post?

therealgoogle

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

tammyfey — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:21:53 EST

Gawker for Dummies

tammyfey

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

DorothyMantooth — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:20:36 EST

@karion: Well, I consider myself an optimist. And I'm a sucker for a well-crafted argument. So consider me the first subscriber to your newsletter!

Oh! It just occurred to me that someone commented at some point this week that they didn't know whence "LolCait's a _____?!" and "servicey" (though servicey's a tag, so I don't have too much sympathy for that). At least this post could have been helpful Gawker meme descriptions, Nick! (Or did I just predict the subject of the next installment?)

DorothyMantooth

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

ChupaCaBrooklyn — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:18:04 EST

@MattGaymon: Literally!

ChupaCaBrooklyn

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

ChupaCaBrooklyn — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:17:45 EST

How you like them page views now, Denton?

ChupaCaBrooklyn

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

SchmatSchmaymon — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:17:13 EST

@karion: Totally - I was looking forward to an upfront-Denton Gawker. I still am - hopefully the punch line comes Monday morning, because this shit sucks.

SchmatSchmaymon

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

the cajun boy — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:17:10 EST

@Furious_George: fake tits are the worst man. give me a set of natural itty-bitties any day.

@SarahHeartburn: exactly!

@disconotdisco: exactly!

the cajun boy

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

erebusrat — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:14:08 EST

How could you forget BME pain olympics? Self castration anyone?...

erebusrat

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

disconotdisco — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:12:40 EST

@the cajun boy: right on the money. sure the labiaplasty results in a firmer grip, but the spark is gone.

disconotdisco

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

SarahHeartburn — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:11:58 EST

@the cajun boy: And what with the Botox and the lip silicone, she loses her smile.

SarahHeartburn

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

BettyCrocker — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:11:30 EST

If someone had told Ben Franklin about this on the night of the lightning storm, he would have thought for about a nanosecond, then put away the kite and the keys and found a hale and hearty wench to bone, no cup required, and Mrs. Oleson at the Mercantile would be using an abacus to settle our bills.

BettyCrocker

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

BK_KT — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:09:54 EST

@mathnet: Ah, touche, Mathnet, you sassmaster.

BK_KT

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

karion — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:09:26 EST

@Pope John Peeps II: @DorothyMantooth:

Think about this. Probably the most fragile week in Gawker history - 2.5 editors gone (still not sure if Josh is really here), on the heels of one of the most distinctive editor's departure (Balk). The audience was going to be pissy, no matter what. It was never going to be as good as we knew it.

What do you do to appease the fan base that continues to grow this site? You aren't going to do it in the short term, so why not just piss them off and get them riled? We had, what, five JA posts in a day? Being spoonfed USA-today level analysis of internet culture? To a site affiliated with Valleywag and Gizmodo?

Nope. I'm not buying it or tasting the Kool Aid. If it is what I think it is, it is a damn crafty practical joke and transition strategy. I never bet against the house unless Clooney, Pitt and Damon are involved.

karion

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

ElijahPollack — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:09:00 EST

Wow, Nick Douglas. I'm definitely seeing what Denton sees in you. He really has vision, that one.

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Furious George — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:08:42 EST

@the cajun boy: Unless that surgery is big fake boobies. In which case, yay!

Furious George

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

tammyfey — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:07:12 EST

@htotheomo: Well, right now, Gawker is pretty much like a mid-op trannie that has been anesthetized and can't really decide what needs snipping.

tammyfey

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

mathnet — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:06:29 EST

@Kwalshie: He makes a good point.

mathnet

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

the cajun boy — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:06:25 EST

i was remarking in an email earlier today that reading gawker this week is like being in the operating room to witness an attractive girlfriend undergoing a cosmetic surgical procedure that she doesn't really need. right now the blood and guts are splayed out all over the operating table and it's just nasty and painful to watch, yet somehow our morbid curiosity won't let us completely look away, much less walk out of the room entirely.

eventually, the wound will be closed and cleaned up and she'll come out of it thinking that she's more attractive to a larger swath of potential suitors, and maybe she actually will be, but is that progress? by going this route she probably sacrifices a lot of her character and a huge portion of her soul, and in doing so she risks alienating those who found her extremely desirable before the surgery.

i'm just saying.

the cajun boy

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

SchmatSchmaymon — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:03:51 EST

@Nick Douglas: More pls? @Furious_George: yes.

SchmatSchmaymon

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

scarletmenace — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:03:48 EST

Um just reading these descriptions made me ill. Did Gawker get jacked or something? Was I in a coma and this is an elaborate April Fools joke?

scarletmenace

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

htotheomo — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:03:38 EST

@Nick Douglas: Is your avatar is picture of you? You're cute.

That said, my comment sums up the vacuousness of this post.

@Furious_George: Why do people choose the avatars they choose?

Synchronicity, people. Synch-ron-ic-ity. And page views.

htotheomo

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

pantsonfireliarliar — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:03:34 EST

@MattGaymon: Or they could also write about WHY these have become popular. To get them started, 2Girls1Cup is more about the reaction videos than the fact that it's absolutely horrid.

pantsonfireliarliar

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

BK_KT — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:59:01 EST

WHAT. IS. THE. POINT. OF. THIS. POST????????

People, I'm serious. I put periods after every word.

Also, can my real commenter ID (BK_KT) please come back?

BK_KT

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

htotheomo — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:58:38 EST

@CodePink: True dat. It's why I have never understood the reason for GLB and T. Before they are even post-op, they tend to seek out heterosexual relationships.

htotheomo

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Furious George — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:57:53 EST

@Nick Douglas: See, this is the kind of stuff you should be writing about in your Internet Meme Analysis posts, then. You should take as given that most of us are at least partly familiar with these fads, and instead of simply spelling them out, dig a bit deeper into some of them. I, for one, would have loved to have read a making-of interview with the creator of '2 girls.' Or something like that. Just...I dunno...anything along those lines.

Don't just give us recycled Internet memes; give us new perspectives on those memes.

Furious George

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

contradicto — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:56:42 EST

@Pope John Peeps II: Really?!? Then I guess I've been doing it wrong. My bad.

contradicto

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

sac — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:56:08 EST

@maehrc: The best and most damning comment for this post. Nice one.

sac

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Nick Douglas — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:55:17 EST

@Furious_George: The creator says it's real, though he's used food in other videos.

Nick Douglas

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

DorothyMantooth — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:54:53 EST

@karion: I really hope you're right.

DorothyMantooth

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Colonel Mustard — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:54:33 EST

@CodePink: The worst part is that they STILL only get 2% of the fiber available in ONE bowl of Super Colon Blow.

Colonel Mustard

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Pope John Peeps II — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:52:43 EST

@CodePink: Well, true. But I simplified to make the joke easier.

Pope John Peeps II

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Furious George — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:52:20 EST

@dcd: Well, in fairness, it's not the post that's intriguing me; it's MattGaymon's analysis -- and the ensuing questions that analysis raises -- that I find intriguing.

Furious George

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

CodePink — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:51:22 EST

@Pope John Peeps II: Trans people do not have to be gay.

CodePink

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

dogshowpony — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:51:12 EST

@Furious_George: no, don't be intruiged! don't give into the post. resist! resist!

dogshowpony

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Pope John Peeps II — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:50:41 EST

@karion: Yah this doesn't seem real AT ALL. I don't really understand it. I'm not even offended, because it was so obviously thrown together out of such ordinary, four-year old material that I'm not really sure what's happening. I'm more just curiously puzzled.

Pope John Peeps II

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Furious George — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:50:03 EST

@MattGaymon: I dunno about brown food on the 2 girls 1 cup series. I've only seen the original, but it very clearly shows the poop coming out of the girl's butthole. It does suspiciously resemble soft-serve yogurt, but in that case, did they stuff a bunch of soft-serve yogurt up her butt prior to the shoot? Or did they find a soft-serve yogurt machine that resembles a photorealistic female ass?

I'm actually intrigued now.

Furious George

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Pope John Peeps II — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:49:00 EST

@elijahpollack: Gay people do not have sex. They just chastely rub their smooth, plasicky genital areas together like two naked ken dolls, then go fix their hair. Science has proven this.

Pope John Peeps II

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

karion — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:48:10 EST

@Pope John Peeps II:

QFT (that's "quoted for truth" - just to save a post)

I'm convinced this is all a practical Denton joke. This kind of branding doesn't mesh with the sophistication of the other GM sites. I think we're being played, and if so, well done. It was going to be difficult to keep up the attention of the fan base this week anyway.

karion

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Lysergic Asset — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:47:57 EST

@Pope John Peeps II: Really.

And Nick Denton thought that Ask Tionna was 'not the direction' Gawker wanted to be heading?

Lysergic Asset

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

Furious George — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:47:53 EST

@Nick Douglas: Thank you. I figured it was either .org or .com (duh?), but I was too hesitant to experiment while on company property.

Furious George

Descriptions of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and other gross-outs that hopefully you'll never watch

ElijahPollack — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:45:29 EST

@Nick Douglas: Wow. That is pretty shocking. Who would have thought that trans women had sex, and that they sometimes filmed this sex, and that there was a market for people wanting to see this sex. I, for one, am outraged.