<![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> @VirusWithShoes: You just described Vancouver. When can I expect you?

raincoaster

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> @VirusWithShoes: Your understanding of our ways of bending other countries to our ways only amplifies the terror that we feel. But your knowledge of hilarity confuses us. Please, be scary, or be funny--but not both.
-Homeland Security
P.S. Dane Cook is not your way out.

ragepotato

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> @ragepotato: Yep. The SSLG was modelled on the "School of the Americas" but with more slapstick and squirty flowers.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> @VirusWithShoes: For once, my paranoid delusions are justified. The Scottish School for Laughter Generation is only slightly less terrifying than this Al Qaeda character who keeps surfacing. While Gawker seems to be pro-SSLG, I think that we must, particularly on this night of fancy "voting," keep in mind that terror awaits us at all turns, whether they be Scot or Islamofascist. Let's be safe out there, Americans!

ragepotato

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> @bodegacat: If you can find me a live-feed from somewhere, I'll live-blog. And some weed. Maybe some cougars with loose morals. Make it so.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> Love Mr. Ferguson. He can serve up the offensible, coated with the inoffensible. A live running commentary by VirusWithShoes would be nice.

bodegacat

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> @Unfun: I'm the man who makes kittens jealous.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> @VirusWithShoes: You are adorable.

Unfun

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> @Unfun: Oh, yeah, and sorry about all the heartbreaking. I'll have a word with him. I was joking earlier - we do all know each other.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> @Unfun: Sleep with an Englishman.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> @VirusWithShoes: Ha! I love having a resident Scot here at Gawker! Question: I recently had my heart broken by one of your brethren. What is the best way to humiliate a Scotsman whilst seeking revenge? Many thanks.

Unfun

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> @n/a: I seem to have fixed it. Teach me to joke about Cheney.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> @n/a: Also - why the fuck is my name coming up as N/A?

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> @DorothyMantooth: I heard Groundskeeper Willie was based on a young Andrew Jackson, 7th President of your popular country. They just thickened the accent to put people off the scent.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> @VirusWithShoes: I believe Goundskeeper Willie was based on that "drunken and unruly haggis," no?

DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> @ragepotato: The Scottish School Of Laughter Generation is located 10 miles outside of Edinburgh. It was instituted in 1872 with the primary purpose of cracking a fucking smile amongst a population ravaged by Presbyterianism, poor diet and shitty - though dramatic - weather. It is reached by going to platform 69 of Edinburgh's Waverley Station and harranging commuters for money for either tea or the bus home. Once on the train, you are given a sample of shortbread and heroin, and the journey takes seven hours due to herrings on the line. The SSLG is not-for-profit, and due to the Scottish propensity for "tight-fistedness", the school has no glass in the windows and no water in the two recently-opened bathrooms. Those who make it through the 3 year course without succumbing to severe dehydration/clinical depression are then allowed outside the grounds to practice their stand-up routines to a flock of drunken and unruly haggis. Recent alumni include Ricardo Montalban and Dick Cheney for some reason.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> @ragepotato: I, too, have been harboring my suspicions about that first part...

DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> I love scotch.

HiredGoons

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> @DorothyMantooth: @VirusWithShoes: Regardless of your efforts to hide your identity, I have reason to believe Craig Ferguson=viruswithshoes. That or the Scots have a secret school for The Funny.

ragepotato

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> I sat beside him chatting when I was visiting Scottish Television, circa '93. He was wearing leather trousers, and appeared both warm and supernaturally tall. We discussed his early career as a stand-up - under the name of "Bing Hitler". I had a couple of his albums, so was well-versed. I can confirm his degree of charm - very nice, very chatty (even to studenty-nerds like me), and very quick off the mark. Glad to see him doing, as it appears, very well.

I've just realised that this post could give the appearance that everyone in Scotland knows everyone else. It's not the case. There's 5 million of us, and only a small percentage are in showbusiness.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> Ooh, I hope he does his "Tom Cruise on Tom Cruise" Scientology bit.

felion

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> Nice to see Craig get the nod. He's a good Scottish egg.

Bellyboop

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> The line about Laura Bush's make-up? Thank you for that.

crotchety

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> I thought this post was referring to newest Gawker commenter darling Virus With Shoes.

(Seriously, though, good for Fergy! He really is charming.)

DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> This will either be very, very good or a disaster. If he sings "I'M Fucking Matt Damon" it will be historical.

belltolls

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> Pros:
* Compared to the other late-night comics, he's charming.
* His monologues come off as conversational and extemporaneous, even though they're developed with a writing staff.
* But it doesn't matter, because he's got that Worldwide Pants strike exemption.
* He's a "serious" published writer, but loves tabloid gossip.
* He'll actually try hard.

Cons:
* He's sure to do his Sean Connery, Michael Caine and Prince Charles impressions.

TedSez

]]> <![CDATA[Scottish Guy To Headline White House Correspondents Dinner]]> Scots make me wet in the panties. Too bad he's on the same time as Conan.

Unfun

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