<![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> "Dripping With As Much Class as Stephanie Klein"

BronxBella

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> Remember when Gawker used to be interesting?

zaky

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @CaptainFantastic: I certainly did, and it was glorious.

Unfun

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @CaptainFantastic: Now we're sleeeeping.

collegecallgirl

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails: Well, they went from sex talk to serious talk, so I assume they came.

CaptainFantastic

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails: Won't you weigh in on this? I'm love to hear your unsentimental take on singledom. Please?

Unfun

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Unfun: @Furious_George: @VirusWithShoes: @Maulleigh: I disappear for a few hours and this is what you kids do? I'm never leaving you alone again.

Not that anyone's going to be reading this.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> Don't like the fame whore that is JA, but she does look pretty in this photo.

gladys_kravitz

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Artychoke: Agreed. And under her "About me" section: "i sometimes wear seamed nylons." Please. That's either about being yourself or marketing yourself (depending on whom you're wearing 'em for) - and using that as your "About Me", that's not marketing? Maybe she's nothing like Julia, but. Oh, God. I'm about going to agree with Julia: she's still marketing her. And also, still not an ugly girl. So shut up, Ashlea.

btrp

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Furious_George: Very well said re: the intellectual vs. emotional power of "perfect life" fantasies. I love hearing guys talk about this stuff, it reminds me that they deal with it as much as women do (which makes me hopeful I'll find one to "settle down" with eventually). You're also kickass. I'm feeling much love for Gawker commenters today. Could be the antidepressants finally kicking in.

Unfun

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> Ok, "years of therapy" alert below (in addition to "ra ra feminism" alert):
WORD, about internet dating. I've been doing it for over a year, and it's awesome. But seriously, if you have pugs, you are cool as shit. I have two pugs, and I'm cool as shit, so this I know. You'll find someone. Everyone does. I've been single for a while, and I was married before. Marriage doesn't change you. It's not like you get married and all of a sudden, you're this complete person. Don't knock yourself because you've internalized this twisted societal idea that as a woman you are not complete without being married and having children. All women feel that way sometimes. I'm honestly happy being single. Then I talk to my crazy mother, and she starts telling me I should think about going to a fucking sperm bank soon, and I'm not even 30! And I find myself panicking. But then I go out and flirt with boys, I post ads on Craigslist saying I'm hot and want a drink any given night, and cute and smart guys actually respond, and it's exciting and I feel powerful and sexy. You're kickass if you've been single most of your life, because you've survived without using someone else as a crutch. You've done it all on your own. I honestly think the only time I'm really going to find someone is when I stop giving a shit and enjoy life and live as fully as possible. I have bad days too, but they are quickly becoming the exception to the rule. That probably doesn't help at all, but I know for me, I'm over being sad, I'm trying to live with dignity and strength even though I'm "alone" and I'm having a great time with it.

Unfun

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Maulleigh: I hear you completely, and that's probably because I'm going through the same shit right now (more or less). I turned 28 a couple weeks ago, and my life seems no further on track than it was at 24, or 22, or 18. I feel older, but no more accomplished or progressed. And it's incredibly frustrating placing my reality into juxtaposition with my lifelong aspirations.

The hardest part about overcoming unattainable fantasies is that we can disown them intellectually, but emotionally they still hold power over us. It's like, we know The Perfect Life (tm) is bullshit, but it remains compelling and depressing bullshit nonetheless. I know I will never have the flawless and fantastic life I've always imagined for myself, but damned if not being able to have it doesn't depress the hell out of me from time to time.

Sorry if I can't offer any decent advice, but then, I'm in sort of the same state you're in right now. It would be disingenuous of me to offer you tips for overcoming problems I haven't yet been able to overcome.

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Maulleigh: There is no need to come to grips with that, silly girl. Two words, my friend: Internet Dating.

Artychoke

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Maulleigh: Short answer - well, you're not internalising anymore, so that's a step forward - and an important one too. I also fully believe that there's a distinct balance between those who are in a relationship and are unhappy, those who are single and are unhappy. This isn't a grass-is-greener analogy, as that's too pat even for a cynic like me. But even a cynic like me has hope for the future. My life currently stinks, but I'm still not giving up.
As to your Disney Princess wedding fantasies - I'd go back to when you first started having them, and see if you can find something around that time that prompted them. You're obvs putting too much faith in finding perfection, which as we all know, doesn't exist apart from in fairytales. And don't knock yourself for the one-nighters etc - you're still trying, and you still have the embers of hope burning. Okay, you only see the scars right now, but it's all experience. Personally I'd rather masturbate than endure the awkwardness of bad sex for the sake of sex. It took me to my very early thirties to realise that.
You can blast hope all you can, but hope dies last because it's the core of you keeping yourself going. Hope is your soul.
It did make sense. And believe me, you're not alone. And talking like this on a snarksville site like this says more about yourself than anything JA could ever come up with.
I wrote this quick and hope it comes across okay. If you're super-down, reply and I'm sure either myself or some other wonderful cynic will clarify some other point you made.

You're doing fine. Honest.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> I'm totally going to get serious here cuz I think about this a lot. I've been single most of my life. Except for a few two-month relationships and millions of one-night stands, I've been alone. And I feel less than. It sucks cuz since I've been three I've always had Disney Princess wedding fantasies and as I age I realize that's never going to come true. And I'm coming to grips with the idea that I'm going to spend my whole life alone: with my pugs and my girlfriends.

What sucks is that I've internalized society's idea that being single and non reproducing is wrong.

So when people are like, "I'm single and happy!!!" I take it with a grain of salt. I think the only women who really feel that way and say that are nuns of any stripe. Cuz the rest of us just have blasted 'hope' and that will destroy our soul.

Does this make any sense? It barely does to me.

Maulleigh

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> Sorry to obsess, but is this the face of Julia's antithesis?
[www.facebook.com]

Artychoke

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @VirusWithShoes: I like bollocks.

Curse_of_NursePornstein

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Unfun: @DorothyMantooth: Knickers to both of you.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @DorothyMantooth: Not to worry, I like to share.

Unfun

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @collegecallgirl: Hi cutie pie!

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> I prefer to make fun of her, but this time I can't help but feel sad for JA. The endless need for attention on the outside can't hide the empty soul within. A thousand photo shoots can't cure that.

mstr_donut

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> Being a brand vs. a person is strategy only for those who seek unhappiness.

"They go to bed with Gilda; they wake up with me"

The_Age_of_Plastic

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Unfun: @Furious_George: Um, mine were always that way. Hi George!

collegecallgirl

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Artychoke: Blush. I did the same thing with the same reaction.

J. Henry Waugh

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @DorothyMantooth: Now that I've read the rest of the comments, though, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to face Unfun's wrath for that one.
Eeep!

DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> Look at Ashlea Halpern's facebook. She's blatantly thin and adorable. Her boyfriend is blatantly indie-dude hot. Lest you misunderstand, I'm not being nice. I'm calling bullshit on her "intimidating" ass.

Artychoke

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @VirusWithShoes: You're so wonderful when you're succinct!

DorothyMantooth

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> worst 4 minutes and 37 seconds ever. wake me when they post clips from the sex tape.

derby

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails: True. And smells like it, too.

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @MonkeyPants: Don't destroy the fantasy, sweets. Cougars are hot.

Unfun

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Furious_George: I think it's largely visual. Hot dogs are ground up and boiled and pigmented and then (if done properly) charred to a virtual crisp.

With haggis, there's no aesthetic effort made. What you are eating looks exactly like what you are eating.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Unfun: 30 is not cougar-dom. GAH! For fuck's sake.

And didn't this shoot take place in the College Humor dorm? How long ago was this? And nice binder clip... very spring '08.

Why the fuck did I watch that?

MonkeyPants

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails: BTW, I really don't see what the big deal is with haggis. Yeah, conceptually, it sounds gross. But when you think about it, what are hot dogs? Miscellaneous pig parts ground up and stuffed inside a pig's rectum and intestinal lining.

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Unfun: Easy there... My policy is not to get on the bad side of people who eat meat stuffed into organs.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @VirusWithShoes: Knickers is infinitely more sexy to an American woman. You can imagine some dashing Brit or Scot demanding that you remove your knickers immediately. I'll pay $90 for Agent Provocateur Knickers. Panties, not so much. Mmm, knickers...ok, I'm stopping.

Unfun

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails: I'm kinda turned on that you read our comments.

Unfun

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @VirusWithShoes: We use z's over here in America. Get with it.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> Was that Harold Ford?

AmishRebel

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @ThighHigh: Great avatar. Fits in well with the newly hyper-sexualised Gawker community.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> its all really just too much with her. everything. its all just so, yucky -- and fluffy, but mainly just plain bubble gum and hard dick gross.

canstrains

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Furious_George: We're in the same boat. Except instead of a few weeks ago, I broke up with someone over a year ago. Add to that impending cougardom (ok, turning 30), and I'm jumping out of my pants.

I'm obsessed with VirusWithShoes, I'll admit it. He's brilliant and he's SCOTTISH, they are always so deliciously perverted. I make no apologies.

Unfun

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> 1. I just threw up in my lap.
2. All three women working on Julia are more attractive than Julia.
3. The barfy in my lap is more attractive than Julia.

I won't ask for that four minutes back, 'cause I kinda knew what I was doing when I clicked the vid, which is really why I threw up in my lap, I think.

ThighHigh

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> Gay IT-lords, where the EFF are my REPLY buttons??

ANYWAY-- Furious_George, don't even get me started on the lyrical genius of Luda, especially this song.

Also, I'd like to state for the record that Julia Allison may be annoying, self-promoting, and clueless, and in addition to that she is also probably one of the least qualified people to give advice on how to be single and well-liked in this city.

BK_KT

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails: They are. Over here we sometimes use "knickers", but that just makes me giggle and think of Benny Hill. Neither are conducive to the sex act. Panties rock.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @fiveinchtaint: Totally cool.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @VirusWithShoes: Panties is a hot word. Awkward to type that. I want to write "Panties are a hot word". But that's patently ridiculous.

Mmmm... patent leather panties...

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails: She had me, as most women do, at "panties". Also - I like her whiskers and bright, shiny eyes.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Unfun: I thought they always were? Damn - I read too much into things. But, saying that, I have a terrific imaginary sex-life.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Unfun: The comments have been sexually charged for awhile now. At least mine have been. This is because I broke up with my gf a couple of weeks ago, and now I really fucking need to get laid. Badly. I've never really subscribed to the "dudes need to blow off steam!" theory of sexual frustration, but lately I can see the wisdom in it.

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails: But the fact that I trolled her tumblr to find that information is cool?

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Unfun: That's nothing compared to your little tete-a-tete with VirusWithShoes on your commenter pages!

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @fiveinchtaint: You lost me once you started with references to Entourage. We are no longer friends.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Furious_George: Dayum! Is it just me or are the comments particularly sexually charged today? It's making it very difficult to concentrate on this whole job thing.

Unfun

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> Where's the "Look At What You Allowed Denton To Do" tag Pareene?

ext212

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> Ashlea and her bf are actually in TONY a few pages later, looking for a double date, so you can see what she looks like.

lustylady

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails: @Furious_George: Turns out she is one of her friends. She's the 'E' to her Vincent. I wonder if her Turtle is a lazy, overweight slut.

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @fiveinchtaint: I'm in love with her stylist!

Cheap Shot

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> julia alison is No Face of the media world. At first, harmless D.C. arm candy. but then it grows. the hate stars. the disease and filth amass.

and then, BAM.

hm. actually comparing NYC media heads to Miyazaki is kind of fun.

mitchel_stevens

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Furious_George: No, it's a prickly briar pratch.

collegecallgirl

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails: Agreeance. Her stylist is a naughty little librarian who needs a good spanking.

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> She is just not that interesting. She is an average girl who spends a lot of time and effort to look like she isn't, and at the end of the day, she knows it. That's why the only thing she does is gussy herself up and have pictures taken of her. She's flooded the market with those images, so now, she isn't even interesting to look at.

karion

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @fiveinchtaint: Yes - do want stylist.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> Julia's point: "It's okay that I spend all my time worrying about whether or not guys want to sleep with me. It's *branding*!"

Ashlea's point: "It's not fair that guys want to sleep with Julia because she's hot! I want them to want to sleep with *me*, for no reason at all!"

Gwenishka

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @collegecallgirl: Her vagina is definitely not a velvety love pouch like yours is.

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> After a long hard day of doing absolutely nothing, I finally get over to Gawker and first up is... Julia Allison.
I'm going back to doing nothing. It smells better and doesn't involve genital pastry.

EnviousJuno

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @BK_KT: By the way, it is a testament to Luda's lyrical genius that he can use euphemisms like "garden" and "dirt" to dodge radio censors. How many other rappers do you know who can freely opine about the merits of vaginal vs. anal sex on Top 40 radio?

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> New Gawker shirt:

"Dripping With Class"

BTW, that video made me sick.

Cheap Shot

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> Her 'stylist' is more attractive. That's dangerous. This stylist hears that enough and will start to sabotage JA, like forgetting to accentuate her breasts, or throwing her dog down the garbage chute.

fiveinchtaint

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> That poor fucking dog deserves better.

Clarence Rosario

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Furious_George: I bet her vagina speaks in a voice like the cryptkeeper's.

collegecallgirl

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @collegecallgirl: I bet her vagina has twigs in it, like Courtney Cox's!

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> Just how long has JA been single? Sure, its wonderful now; but lets check back with her in about 6 months when she's had about 10-too many first dates and she's sitting on her couch with her puppy, eating spoonfuls of unrefined sugar our of the bag, watching Grey's Anatomy repeats, quietly telling herself how empowering it is to be single.

kathotdog

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> Dear Nick Denton,

Please. For. The. Love. Of. God. No. More Julia. Allison.
Thank. You.

FUCK!

Rhoda-licious

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @collegecallgirl: Ha! Crumbly vagina! Brilliant!

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> Add one spunky Jewish neighbor and you've got Mary Tyler Moore II. NYC street corners must be littered with Julia Allison's berets.

onebadclam

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> OH MAN, the unintentional hilarity of Luda opining "Rough sex, make it hurt/ in the garden or in the dirt" juxtaposed with JA primly posing in her red gown is FUCKING PRICELESS.

OR WAS THAT INTENTIONAL, you jokesters?

BK_KT

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Furious_George: I stand absolutely firm on the fact that you do NOT have to look like Julia Allison for the "loving yourself and having fun" philosophy to make you a people magnet. This chick is bitter and dried up and I bet her vagina crumbles if you poke it.

collegecallgirl

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @traydon_barter: I thought I was dripping with classy once. But it turned out my colostomy bag had ruptured.

Pope John Peeps II

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> And for the last time, take your fucking top off!

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Nic Fit: Every lyric every written/performed by Ludacris is awesome.

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> It was too short to properly masturbate to, too long to find interesting.

VirusWithShoes

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails: Everything about this just drips with classy.

traydon_barter

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> Where are the fucking C.H.U.D.s when you really need them?

mark duffy

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> I love that line in the Ludacris background track where he says, "We can do it in the libary, on top of a book."

Oh, and this Julia Allison broad ain't all that.

Nic Fit

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @collegecallgirl: Yeah. Like, give me a fucking break. If you're a chick and you've got a pulse, you can pick up drunk guys in a bar. How fucking ugly or "intimidating" must she be not to be able to land a drunk dude?

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> @Furious_George: And the part where she's talking about sitting and watching the purses? Since when do you have to be a supermodel to talk to dance with drunk guys?

collegecallgirl

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> Classy soundtrack choice.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> Aw, what a cute little ball of fluff. (Insert obvious punchline here.)

TedSez

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> i want to tell ashlea that being that she doesn't already look like one of the mythical TONY cougars, she's got a fucking leg up on julia "inexplicably 48 years old" allison.

allyzay

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> That Ashlea Halpern response is kind of awesome. I was reading it, and I was thinking "Hells yeah! You tell it like it is, sister!" And then I got to the part where Ashlea describes herself as ugly, and I was all, "Ewww! Ugly girl! No thank you, madam!" And then I stopped reading it.

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA['TONY' Vid Proves Existence Of Happiest, Most Fulfilled Dog-Owning Single Lady Ever]]> Sounds like somebody's got a case of the frumpy uglies.

collegecallgirl

]]>