<![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It - Gawker Comments]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> Hey, I don't actually have to watch Celebrity Apprentice to know it blows.

SecureLocation

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> It has been said, without contradiction I think, that A.J.P. Taylor wrote a book review before breakfast every morning.

trojanhorse

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @cowboygirlish: Yes! Brilliant!

Michael Jahn

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> I'd like to review the next election without looking at it.

cowboygirlish

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @She Blinded Me With Omniscience:
Your omniscience a bit off today eh?

mz_wysiwyg

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @Band Meeting: As Malcolm Gladwell says, it's all in the blink. Everything else is wasted time.

famousauthor

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @She Blinded Me With Omniscience: If you'd skipped the Cliff Notes, you probably would have gotten a 3.7.

famousauthor

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> Since there are some apologies for Maxim, as if no one reads it for the music reviews - I'll say that I'm not good at reviewing people and no one listens to me. So it's okay that I say the editor of Maxim asked my brother for a massage and a happy ending. It's kind of an educated guess.

gemiinii

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> This is the last time I trust a music review by Scott Templeton.

92BuickLeSabre

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> I got an assignment to write a piece for Cosmo once. Okay, I was broke, and it sounded easy -- the health benefits of fasting. The editor warned me ahead of time that in doing case histories, the bulk of the article, that Helen Gurley Brown could spot a fake interview a mile away. So I carefully researched the piece and did actual interviews, taking notes and everything. Helen hated it and said I made it up. So I said "fuck this," and did a complete rewrite in which I actually did make everything up. Not one word was true. Helen loved it and praised my journalistic skills. $750 (not bad for the time).

Michael Jahn

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @Hiphopopotamus: Well done, akin to when someone whose observations shine brightly in the wilderness described the genre of grunge as "quiet thing, loud thing, quiet thing, loud thing, big crashing ending."

Michael Jahn

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @RedHotAries: Touche. I never even thought of that.

Lysergic Asset

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> Wuthering Heights sucks? No effin' way. Here's a sample, and f&*^ing stellar quote.

"The more the worms writhe, the more I yearn to crush out their entrails, and I grind with greater ferocity in direct proportion to the increase in pain."

There's more greatness where that comes from folks. Do yourselves a favor and read this book!

jean_genetic

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> I doubt we would've even heard about this had they given them 5 stars.

mz_wysiwyg

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> Isn't Maxim just Men's Health with more bikini pics and cologne ads?

MercuryPDX

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @Band Meeting: Agreed. But the Glass Menagerie I think takes the prize for being a steaming pile of pretentious bullshit.

The Dewd

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @EastEndguy: I haven't read it, but my educated guess is: Table of Contents, Bad Jokes, Dumb Letters, Bunch of Expensive Crap You Should Buy, Ads for Other Expensive Crap, Bland Feature about somethign Macho, Sexy Photo Spread of Celebrity, Amateur Photo Spread, Ads for clothing, Feature on clothing, ads for clothing, Gizmos, cigar ad, failed humor article, done.

Hiphopopotamus

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> The Black Crowes really went downhill after Chris Robinson died in that motorcycle accident in 2009.

MisterHippity

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @Band Meeting: BTW, Wuthering Heights fucking sucks, and if you can manage to actually read the whole thing, it's because you're some sort of lame-ass nerd.

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @famousauthor: I got an A on a paper I wrote about Wuthering Heights, which is the one book I never actually bothered to read in high school. My average grade on papers for the books I bothered to read: B+.

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> I missed that review. Must've run in the middle of Maxim's monthly "Jessica Biel is the Hottiest of Hotties" pictorial, those pages are always stuck together.

Need to talk to the mailman...

acridsheep

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @famousauthor: Cliffs Notes got me my 3.5 high school GPA.

Lysergic Asset

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @Furious George: Yeah, I've been known to do a find for certain keywords before I hit submit for just that reason.

Moff

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> I learned in seventh grade that I usually got a better grade on a book report if I hadn't read the book. I think one of my classmates works for Maxim.

famousauthor

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @Furious George: That's why I'm fastidious about reading the comments before adding mine. I even did this during the legendarily long Foxymorons thread (which is so beyond anal-retentive that the ghost of Sigmund Freud is weeping).

Lysergic Asset

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> Isn't Maxim thisclose to being grizzled itself?

lefty

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @EastEndguy: (every single issue)

Lysergic Asset

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @She Blinded Me With Omniscience: My favorite is commenting on articles without reading the other comments first. It's especially awesome when I realize that, like, ten other people have made the same joke I have about a given topic, and usually much better.

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> How can the Black Crowes criticize Maxim without reading the whole magazine?

EastEndguy

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> Black Crowes notwithstanding, it is a shitty thing for "journalists" to do. I don't blame the band for getting their trousers in a twist.
And "Remedy" is a kick-ass song.

PimpMyCouch

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> wait the same magazine that has a completely fabricated "image" of Britney Spears on its current cover? No way.

I've been getting Maxim for free for the past three years. I've moved three times and it keeps following me. I usually just use it to let me know when certain cds are about to come out. that's about it.

Rabbi Dave

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @TheHonJudgeSmails: Well put.

@Clarence Rosario: Niiiiice.

Moff

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> This is worse than commenting on posts you haven't read (which I'd never do).

Lysergic Asset

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> Has Old Media hired Mark fucking Penn to help them beat New Media or what?

Moff

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @Monkey_Butter: Do you mean "idiotrial"?

Lycosidae

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> ...and if you ladies like grizzled, boozy and competent, I'm available on Saturday night.

The Dewd

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> Perhaps the review was too kind...

YourGoldKeith

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> Reading Maxim for music reviews is like reading TONY for dating advice.

Ooooops!

Clarence Rosario

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> I have neither read Maxim nor heard an entire Black Crowes album, therefore I am outraged by this scandal.

Seanibus

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> The commenters posts on this are all solidly mediocre, bordering on unreadable.

I know that without having read any of them, by the way. Because I can't read.

jadedperson

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> *phone rings*

"hello?"

"oh, yeh, sorry. we ran an educated guess"

"hmm, yeah. I know, we quoted him."

"Oh, you mean he wasn't at the Carolina Herrera show?"

"Wait, wot? Wot do you mean Freddie Mercury is dead?"

shanghaibaby

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> That guy should be fired BTW.

Cheap Shot

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> Also, this whole incident is, for me, kind of a hilarious flashback to the heady days of editing my high school newspaper. We used to review full movies based on the previews, review albums based on cursory snippets of one or two tracks, and invent fictional people to "interview" for various stories. It was kind of awesome, actually. Good to know that real-world journalism works the same way!

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> Blah blah outrage and all that, but seriously: who here doesn't feel fully qualified to write a full review right now for all of the films Jessica Simpson will ever make?

Colonel Mustard

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @Sarcastro: I give your column, wherever it will be, 3 1/2 stars. Highly recommended.

unutterable

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @unutterable: You want mailing it in? Wait until you see the column my old newspaper asked me to write.

Sarcastro

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> Listening to the Black Crowes, and reading Maxim. Two things I won't be doing this month!

BrianVan

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> @Steverino: It's sad, because in its early-early years (we're talking the original British version and the earliest American version), Maxim was probably a solid B to B+ magazine. The writing was hilarious at times, if a bit juvenile.

Over time, the quality of the writing dropped off completely, the stories became repetitive, the photo shoots blended into one another, and the magazine became more or less interchangeable with FHM, Stuff, and all the other shitty lad mags flooding the market. At some point I even noticed that whole-cloth stories, jokes, pictorials, and letters to the editor that had originally run in Maxim were being re-run in Stuff a couple months later, or vice versa. That was the final straw for me.

I haven't read one of these mags in years, but every time I've leafed through one, I can feel my brain cells taking up arms and preparing to stage a violent coup.

Furious George

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> You're kidding right, this is Maxim, the more "Wordy" version of Stuff. As if there is any integrity within thse pages here. Just face the music get Playboy. Actually PB has better ediotrial content, esp interviews.

Another rag for immature male masses with the attention span of a flea. :P

Monkey_Butter

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> The runour is, Quicksilver Messenger are going to rock your socks.

bugupit

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> To be fair, predicting that the new Black Crowes album will suck is like saying "When the bullet enters your body, you will feel intense pain." Somethings are just assumed. Also, Maxim readers don't know how to read, so the Black Crowes have nothing to worry about.

JorgeLuisGorgeous

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> I attribute this total lapse in journalistic integrity to Kent Brownridge. He never cared about music all those years at Rolling Stone. While still the big baddie in charge there he said "Rolling Stone is not a music magazine." Well...he was right but still.

I Don't Get It

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> This is exactly what Maxim does with ladies. They review them without actually fucking them. It's the new new journalism!

olivia2.0

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> I used to make pocket money recommending art shows for a website that I'm too embarrassed to name (even though I believe it doesn't exist anymore). Since they paid so little, I set myself two rules: don't bother going to see the show, and don't spend more than half an hour writing the recommendations.

This is all to say that I fully agree with Maxim's review. And furthermore, I think their next album is even worse!

unutterable

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> Way to email it in Maxim.
@Sarcastro: I hear Moby Grape has some groundbreaking stuff coming up too.

belltolls

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> who's naïve now? as if there aren't already tons of reviews of concerts that critics didn't attend, or books they didn't read. usually noone calls them on it.

edisdead

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> PS: Unicorns are assholes.

collegecallgirl

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> As many women can tell you, one needn't have sex with me to surmise that it will be an awkward, brief and unsatisfying experience.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> Plus, (and, obviously) not even fans can tell one of the Crowes' hippified-blues-jam triple albums from another, so who fucking cares?

Chris Robinson is just mad because Vince Vaughn stole Gretchen Mol from him, or whatever.

JojoSaysNo

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> You know what place is really fucking lame and boring? Atlantis.

collegecallgirl

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> The Black Crowes just misunderstood. They got two and a half CIRCLES, not two and a half stars.

Circles are worth like...1.7 stars at LEAST. So really it was a pretty good review.

FitnessMadeSimple

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> The upcoming Flying Burrito Brothers album, on the other hand, is said to be aces.

Sarcastro

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> Ridiculous, but on the other hand it's no worse than me reviewing Maxim without reading it.

Maxim early years: C+
Maxim in 2008: D

Steverino

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> So I guess it's ok for me to assume Maxim is a sucky magazine without ever having read it. Thanks Maxim!

MissCast

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> As someone who gets all his music recommendations from Maxim, I'm appalled.

JojoSaysNo

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> It's going to take a lot less than this to make Maxim look foolish.

TheHonJudgeSmails

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> That's amazing!

Can you imagine if this was a Blackberry phone commercial?:


+ Watch video

Cheap Shot

]]> <![CDATA[Maxim Reviews Black Crowes Album Without Listening To It]]> let's not forget, it is the black crowes.

larrydarrell

]]>